h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

After a string of bank robberies in surrounding towns, police held a cross-jurisdictional meeting and discovered that the perp was wearing an elaborate leather mask of unnerving beauty, a different one each time. The robber also wore a long sequined krewe robe and many necklaces of glass beads. It was well known that there was a craftsman right in the geographical center of all these robberies who made such masks, and the police decided that only she would have the opportunity to have so many different masks. Also, she would be most likely to need the money to make these masks.

And so Lentilla was handcuffed, brought to jail, and arraigned the next morning. At this point, however, it was revealed that the robber was seven feet nine inches tall as seen on security cameras. A search of Lentilla's home revealed no stilts, and so the case against her was dismissed for lack of evidence, but the police still watch her carefully.

Post 6640 will generate a missing LED, I just discovered. And a post has been modded at the BOF Inn, where just three of us maintain a rather drunken and silly presence. I'm surprised, but I suppose I shouldn't be.

A chilly morning. Just as well, since my monitor arrived yesterday evening, and I will be putting my office back together, at long last. It's been nearly a month since the original monitor went bad. And then, once everything is back in place and I have caught up on my work, I can advert my attention to the problem of the wireless card in the laptop.

FG, take care of yourself. What a horrible experience for you

I have been told in no uncertain terms to take the rest of today and indeed the rest of the week off work, by hospital staff who were rather cross with me for not coming to them sooner. I'm still experiencing a constant headache after my bout of stupidity with the lamppost. It doesn't look like I've done anything serious, but I have to be under constant supervision/surveillance for a while, just in case.

I've never taken a day off sick from the Library of Doom before, so this is a momentous occasion. Five years, seven months and sixteen days. It's a shame to blot my good health copybook.

By the way, I am now at home, and will log off shortly in order to avoid evil computer screens. What on Earth am I going to do with myself? I sha'n't be able to keep away...

A for FG before I go, but no explanation re:Lentilla, as my imagination functions appear to be offline.

David

*is in her office, smiling at how everything appears to be working except the network card*

Poor David. I hope his head knits up quickly.

Looks like there are a lot of s needed all round.

My post that vanished is still there, but I got a standard email telling me it had gone. I am slightly less sympathetic than I was on Tuesday.

Ben

I read the missing post and cannot, for the life of me, figure out what was objectionable in it. ???????

David - that is why I can't bear those camcorder outtake shows - am sure it seems roaringly funny when someone clatters into a lamppost with a silly music soundtrack in the background, but those sorts of accidents can *really hurt*. Hope your bonce is better soon!

Blood donors . That's what I meant to do today.

Good to see you Amy. Are you feeling better now?

Lentilla was detained under anti-terrorist legislation for shouting the word "poo" and Donald Rumsfeld, but secured her release by painting a nice picture for the cops to hang in their canteen.

*waves* Yes I'm fine, thanks, Baggers.

How did the owl manage to fly into a lampost? I agree with Kelli - those tv programs are just awful with no more than one in ten films being of things a person could laugh at with a clear conscience. I caught a few moments of one of these progeams the other day as I was changing channels. First there was a bit of footage of a cockatoo jumping up and down next to a kid on a pogo stick - which was funny - followed by half a dozen clips of kiddies having quite serious accidents and clearly being hurt. What are their families thinking?

Glad to hear it. We were starting to worry about you.

"What are their families thinking?"

How about: "£50 if this gets shown!"

My computer's refusing to make noises or play any media files.

6640 produces a missing LED?

We should start a guide entry for the exclusive purpose of keeping track of Missing LEDs.

[SG V]

*s FG*

Been t'gym... all worn out but feeling good.

Pretty good day so far. Classes were great and I finally had the honor of buying Amber lunch. Now, if I can just get rid of the headache I developed after leaving school.

Look after yourself, FG

Hello, Amy, long time no see! Look, we've kept your kleenex box for you...

David, be good to your poor head. Did I ever tell you guys about the time I walked into a parked bus? I was admiring my engagement ring as it sparkled in the sun. I'd had it for approximately 36 hours at that point. Absolutely hilarious. Really really funny. My knee still clicks in damp weather.

Speaking of odd accidents. I was getting into the car and hit my nose with the car door. Cut it properly and it bled all over the sidewalk! It's funny now, but then it was just painful and embarrassing.

I should have known that you'd want to hear the story of jailbird Lentilla. Your versions of what happened are much more exciting than mine!

It was a Memorial Day about 7 years ago, and R. and I were driving back from the Kerrville Folk Festival. We were both dressed in hippie clothes - I was wearing my brightest tie-dyed t-shirt, and my Janis Joplin style floppy hat. R. had his Pink Freud shirt on, which has a picture of Freud, printed in pink, holding what looks like a joint. We were virtually chain-smoking cigarettes, and the van was rather funky from us camping out in it all weekend. So we were ripe and easy pickings for the deputy who pulled us over in Goldthwaite. I figure he saw me lighting a cigarette for R. and thought I was lighting a joint. He pulled us over and stuck his head in the window, and said that he detected the 'strong odor of marijuana.' Well, we had to exit the car, and much to my surprise, he managed to find a film can with *half a tablespoon* of not-oregano in the back pocket of one of the seats. We were taken to jail, and the deputy called in backup to help them search the van. Because it was Memorial Day, we had to wait for the county judge to come in the next morning to sign the necessary papers for our bail bonds to be issued and us to be released.

I spent a very unhappy night in jail. The bed was a thin mat of what could only be the compressed dried bodies of rats, on a concrete slab. I had rough sheets and a weird little pillow. And the worst book by Dean R. Koontz I have ever read. I was actually in the drunk tank, not a jail cell, so I had access to the cold-water only shower. I was better off than R., who had to spend the night in an actual cell with a very large man on the bottom bunk.

Like I said, it wasn't as bad as that night in the hospital, although at the time I was much more concerned. I had to be back at work Wednesday, and it's a bit difficult to explain to your employer why you can't come in when you're in jail. We were released Tuesday morning, went back to Fort Worth, and spent the rest of the day in bed.

And this is why I hate Goldthwaite, Texas.

Now, aren't you glad you asked? I would much rather have been falsely accused of defenestration...

I have a picture of the bunny mask:

http://www.robynsroost.com/scarby06/week2/scarb83.JPG

And a picture of King Henry in front of my booth:

http://www.robynsroost.com/scarby06/week2/scarb61.JPG

Well, the actor who plays him, anyway. Looks the part, doesn't he?

*offers belated to FG

I hope the situation has resolved itself. Please take care of yourself - you deserve better than being shouted at and threatened.