h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*floats back*
Sorry, I really had to go to linch, wow, all this backlog now.......


Dancer (with head between hands)

*something desends from the ceiling and dangles, bouncing slightly, inches from Carmel*

Ooooo, Goody, a pinata!

*gives it a good smack with the bottle*

*stunned spider falls, twitching, at d'Elaphant's feet*

*stunned Carmel mutters* Did I do that? *begins to sway, then circle, in classic prelude to a faint that will topple her from her perch*

Lunch, NOT linch.


Dancer

*hands over the bottle in time to have her hands free for catching falling rabbits*

*finds herself cradling a vertiginous bunny*

*looks up at Lil, half in and half out of a swoon*

Dear me, will there be spiders bungeeing down on us all along this tunnel? You don't suppose that at least a few of them will be smaller than me?

*notes that miraculouly she has not dropped the wine bottle, clutches it for comfort*

I won't mind too much as long as I can stand up straight. Hmmm, webs.

Hey, is anybody really good at making nets or stringing traps? If we could get some sort of snare made, I could use the healthstone to make it a really STRONG trap.

/* Steps on spider, crushing it */

At least that one was smaller than its parents. Does ability to make a web site count? That's the closest I can get. And I can tie a square knot. And get my thoughts all in a tangle.

I can tie a bow line and a round-turn-two-and-half-hitches.

Amy, got any more of that thread?

The pink has nearly run out but I've got some lime green somewhere.

*Steps in remains of spider* Ick! That clashes so badly with my spats. Best get out of here as soon as we can, before my dress sense is entirely ruined. *Hurrys off up the tunnel, vaguely in a polka rhythm*

*Eyes the scene, eyes twinkling as if at some secret joke, unfathomable to all but him*

*looks back at her landlord with affection and exasperation*

Now, remind me again, Affi, why we had a monster in the basements of CLI...

*From back up the tunnel, around the corner some sounds filter through to the group:

thump-thump thump-thump thump? THUMP-THUMP THUMP-THUMP THUMP-THUMP THUMP-THUMP THUMP-THUMP THUMP-THUMP THUMP-THUMP THUMP-THUMP thump-thump thump-thump

minus the guitar, those sounds would be my cat attacking his toys

*Has a sudden thought* You know, my banned-for-life nephew just bought a new 50-watt amp for his bass. You don't suppose...

*abruptly turns and strides back down the tunnel, toward the source of the noise*

Mike, is that you??

LIL! DON'T GO BACK THERE! IT'S THE HEART OF DARKNESS! AND MRS. SPIDER IS STILL BACK THERE!

*turns* Well, Mike was the only researcher ever to get banned for life, so doesn't that pretty much qualify him for a heart of darkness? And Mrs. Spider, she's daid. *kicks carcass of Mrs. Spider, which promptly twitches and reaches toward Lil's leg*

Aaaaaaaaaah! *sprints back toward the rest of the group*

/pant pant/ Garius, I don't think it's the Heart of Darkness /pant pant/ I think it's /pant pant/ the Ghost of Atkins Past! Don't forget the coming date *rests hands on knees*

As well as your free-range monster.

*in the distance he tunes his axe*

The 's voicemail has been blocked . Perhaps he's not the only one having a rebellion.

I spooked too soon. He's reconnected.

Lil, I think you might be right - that guitar DID sound like Mike, but a bit more etherial. Anyway, from the sound of the battle, I think he retreated, at least temporarily.

As for Mrs. Spider, Affy left her alive and kicking. It was Mr. Spider that the rat-ants, um, dispatched.