h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Affy has just heard the news, and single-handedly dispatching of his villains. He turns to Croz*

Man, this just gets better and better. Now we've got to find Wendy!

*Looks at all the possible exits. The only two he sees are the entrance to the mushroom and the entrance to the "Oddly Angled Room From Zork 2!"*

I've got a bad feeling about this. Okay, someone follow me to help handle Cerberus! Everyone else, keep the monsters/villains away from the mushroom!

*Rushes to the maze entrance, but finds his path blocked by the Warlock Krill from "Enchanter"*

Oh, I never liked you...

*Affy and Krill begin swordfighting and trying to cast spells at each other*

Why don't you just throw an apple at him, it's worked so far

*The end of a rope drops down to the floor. It is tied to the railing on a previously unnoticed balcony above. GL climbs down the rope.*

Hey Affy. I just figured out how this place works. You see, you just wish for somethi ...

Oh dear. That looks just like Krill you're fighting.

*Quickly pages through his spell book*

Damn. Can't find anything good. Well, maybe this will help.


>Cast fweep at Krill

Krill is turned into a bat and flutters off harmlessly.



Hmmm. Well, I guess that did help.

*looks around at the multitude of monsters and evil creatures.*

For now.

[Link continues to single-handedly wipe bad guys out]

*Even though it might not do anything, seeing as his weapons never appeared in any of these adventures, Pr. C. Tonks does his amazing act of ducking behind objects, strafing out, shooting, ducking, rolling, all the time his hand on his Watch ready to fire...*

Wahey! Aint't been in any actual action for months!!

*pulls out the most dangerous weapon ever given to any first officer of a starship....................the disiplinary book.... *

*then she realises that perhaps...seeing as none of the monsters has ever seen or heard of being sent to the brig....they might have no fear of it at all..*

Oh..erm...sugar!

[The Mew, who wasn't SUPPOSED to be detected, noticed, or anything like that, decides to dispatch some of the villans and does so, using Psychic]

Thanks, GL. Come one!

*Rushes to the maze*

*Arms an unnecessarily large snowzar*

Let's kick some rock-bun

*Joins Affy*

*follows suit, telepathetic skills at the ready...*

*Rushes into the maze after Affy, despirately trying to think of something useful from an i-f game to wish for. Remembers the maze from Enchanter where passages between rooms could be added or removed by using a magic pencil and eraser on a map of the maze (the maze transforms to match the map).*


Gee, this maze is pretty good, but not as good as the one in Enchanter. And there is no magic pencil or map here either


*The walls of the maze suddenly become translucent. GL looks around and sees a pencil lying beside a map in the corner of the room. GL takes the map and pencil.*

Okay, is everyone in the maze? As soon as they are, I'll erase the entrance passage.

INTO THE MAZE EVERYONE.

*GL speaks to red-shirted Ensign Sacrifice:*
Once everyone is in, you hold off the monsters at the entranceway.

[YK, YC, YQ, Link, and Nerfal enter the maze]

*Pr. C. Tonks activates the Subjectal Hyper-Movement Initiator on his Watch, and zooms into the maze, a blue fizzy trial behind him...*

*Is looking at the map*

Okay, I don't think we can use this pencil more than ten times, at most. BTW, if we're looking for Wendy, she would probably be in the room with that monster in it. It's just the logic of video games.

*Is thinking back to his last encounter with The Unseen Terror*

I hope everyone hurries. We need to get in and out as quickly as possible. Otherwise, we could doom this planet to a thousand years of terror.

*Manages to hold the serious expression for about three seconds, before an evil smile creeps into his face*

Is anyone else thinking the same thought that I'm thinking?

[The Mews smile wickedly at each other. At least they give the impression of smiling wickedly, with such unreadable faces as they have.]

Are you thinking, I could just have a nice hot cup of tea right now?

*Pours Affy and everyone else a cup of tea from a flask he brought with him*

Yes! More tea!!
Wahey!!

*drinks it heartily...*

[YK] Right! We just need to rescue Wendy ...

*Affy follows the map southeast, followed by the other members of the crew. Affy erases the passgage they just used*

This way, the Unseen Terror can't get out. If this is the same maze, we need to get to the room that isn't connected to any other room.

*Points to a secluded room on the map*

When we open that, we will be entering the prison of one of the most feared monsters in every text adventure ever made. Fortunately, it's actually passive after all these years (at least it was last time), so it won't try to kill us instantly.

*Starts following the map further into the maze*

There's an easy way to tell if it's passive. Did you upset it at all last time? If you did then it'll most likely want to kill us.