h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Name Dropper is hit not by Corrigible's attack, but instead by the thousands of tiny icicles that are suddenly coming his way. He looks up from the wall that he has been slammed into*

Name Dropper-NUKE!

*So saying, the most powerful attack spell from The Bard's Tale II is now heading Corrigible's way*

[Corrigible] [drawing on the power of Mega Man sprite comics] Twinkie defense!

[Camera angle changes; Corrigible is now standing next to Name Dropper, out of the path of the blast]

[Corrigible] [stabbing with his lightsaber] Shouldn't you watch where you're casting those spells?

*Name Dropper recoils from the poking with much pain*

Name Dropper-Okay, that does it. I've been saving the greatest words of power for this moment. Greater than "By The Power Of Greyskull" or the Curse of Megaboz, or anything!

*Clears throat*

"You know what? That makes me mad."

*Suddenly infused with the powers of an angry Tex Avery character, Name Dropper begins moving very quickly, and starts his toony attack by attempting to pick up Corrigible by the feet and repeatedly slamming his head on the ground*

[Corrigible is initially grabbed, but he uses the Burst move shared by all Guilty Gear X2 characters, and air-dashes backward and lands on his feet.]

[Corrigible] Oh yeah? Gamma Ray Mk. I!

[He is surrounded by a "using a Super Special Move" animation /twice/, after which he throws a gigantic blast of energy at Name Dropper that fills the entire screen.]

*Because the entire screen is filled, Name Droopy is out of sight just long enough to teleport via cartoon physics to just behind Corrigible. He taps Corrigible on the shoulder*

Name Dropper-Hello. Joe.

Yes, Name /Droopy/ is out of sight, but what about Name /Dropper/?


[Corrigible spins around, swinging his legs out to try to trip Name Dropper up sideways, and, if successful, will punch him across the room. If you've played Enter the Matrix thoroughly, or at least if you watch the first movie's fight scene between Neo and Smith in the subway, you'll know what I'm talking about.]

*Corrigible impacts with a doll made to look like Name Dropper with a bomb in it. The bomb explodes*

Name Dropper-(From a safe distance) You know what? I'm happy.

[Corrigible] [momentarily Wile E. Coyote'd] And why is that?

*This question throws Name Dropper, thus breaking his concentration enough for him to loose his Droopy powers. He doesn't seem to notice this, however, as he tries to think of an answer*

Name Dropper-Because....um....you hit the bomb and not....me?

[Corrigible takes this opportunity to jump up towards ND, and pulls his helmet off, revealing ... another helmet in its place! He throws the helmet at Name Dropper, and it explodes, regardless of what it hits.]

*Name Dropper dodges a direct blast, but as he was standing pretty much with his back to the wall the blast catches him. Knocked into dreamland, he falls onto the floor*

[Corrigible] Finish him!

[Surrounded by a red aura, Corrigible goes into Instant Kill mode, i.e. his "power meter" becomes red and slowly starts to decrease. He's then surrounded by the aforementioned "using a Super Special Move" animation, except accompanied by a a sound effect that's sort of like a cross between glass breaking and swords clashing together instead of the usual "vwoosh" sound, as well as his power meter vanishing altogether. He races towards Name Dropper, lightsaber drawn, and when he reaches him, he plunges his lightsaber down. Should he hit him, he's surrounded by a huge burst of red and white light apparently coming from his lightsaber, followed by the word "DESTROYED!" appearing momentarily.]

*Name Dropper dissapears in a cloud of black smoke, appearing on the opposite side of the room in the same manner. The teleportation seems to have jerked him back out of dreamland, causing him to look at Corrigible in confusion. After figuring out what the light sabre was doing, he chuckles*

Name Dropper-Yeah, sorry. The "OZMOO" spell's always a good one. Never go into battle without it, as they always say.

[Corrigible's eyes widen at this, and he gulps. His "power meter" has not reappeared.]

[Corrigible] ... Okay, this limits things. Right, time to just use ordinary combo moves. Stun edge!

[He swings his lightsaber, sending a sort of crackling bolt of red lightning that, should it connect, will not actually cause stunning but merely do lightning damage roughly equivalent to a Hadoken from Street Fighter.]

Name Dropper-PRISM SHIELD!

*Using the old tintarasta move, a giant prism appears in the air before Name Dropper, converting all of the energy heading his way into harmless rainbows of light that shine past him*

Name Dropper-Dude, I was knocked out! You won! Now, I'm perfectly happy to continue fighting, but remember: you asked for it! Hiryu Shoten Ha!

*A tornado of a battle aura and ice-cold soul energy is speeding towards Corrigible*

Name Dropper-Next time you'll settle for just gagging me or something.

[Corrigible] [knocked back by the blast, he pops an Elixer, restoring his health to full] Fine then ... [his Energy Bar reappears, too] Ooh! Well, in any event: MEGALOMANIA!

[Corrigible holds his hands out, and a large gold ring with a pair of wings appears. Two streams of transparent green orbs containing pink s head out towards Name Dropper at what initially appears to be waist height, but then start to go up into the air and ends up at the corner of the ceiling.]

*Name Dropper looks up at the corner of the ceiling in confusion*

Name Dropper-Eh?

[Corrigible blinks and frowns, then tosses a normal Potion at one of the streams. It shatters, and the stream explodes, becoming simply a tight swarm of painful orbs which fly off towards Name Dropper.]

[Corrigible] Aaaaaahahahahaha!

Name Dropper-Ah, I see now. Yes, that makes much more sense, all things considAAAAHHHH! OH, THE PAIN! WHY DID I BOTHER COMMENTING ON THE FLYING PAIN ORBS INSTEAD OF DODGIN! OOH, OW!

*Name Dropper falls on the ground, twitching, trying to get his mouth to say something to ease the pain*

[Corrigible] ... wait, why didn't I notice I had this spell before!? MUTE!

[He casts a spell which, if successful, causes the "Mute" status ailment on Name Dropper.]