h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*The Krylma Leader walks up to Hangar 535, and paints over the number 535. Then, he hangs up a sign which says "Infinity". Then he pulls out the key which he legally purchased, unlocks the Hangar, and enters. He inspects the Hangar*

Nice. Very nice. Exactly what I need for my plan.

*watches Krylma disappear into the hangar and reminds herself of having to tell the security to keep an eye on him*

*Closes the door. He pulls out several devices that agents gave him. He suspects they were stolen from CLI, but since he never actually *knew* that they were stolen from CLI, the law can't really touch him. He pulls out a PDCC (Pan-Dimensional Channel Changer), and what look like schematics for Affy's rift maker. He begins setting up some equipment. About five minutes after he started, the "Requested Entry" bell rings. KL checks the outside monitor, and sees what he has been waiting for. At the push of a button, the doors to space open (oxygen held in by a handy-dandy force field), and in flies a magnificent, silvery-white spaceship (with green and blue colors on it in several places.) It is shaped a lot like a gigantic dragon. The bridge located on the head, roughly where the brain would be. A massive Tantalus gun (capable of ripping through a fairly large mountain) is inside the mouth, and the eyes glow a dangerous looking red. Several nuclear, atomic, sub-space, and unidentifiable weapons are on the outstretched wings and limbs. The tail looks almost fluid, a seems to move about as you watch it, except for the glowing (and very sharp/dangerous looking) tip. As the doors close and the very large battle ship settles to the floor, Montressor the Anarchist Android jumps out of a hatch, and hands the keys to KL. KL smiles, and takes the keys*

Thank you, Montressor. This is indeed a momentous occasion. I wasn't expecting you to deliver my new ship this quickly! I must commend Red on your services. Now, please witness the christening of my ship, the most powerful (and soon to be the most infamous) battle ship in all of h2g2! May I introduce...

*KL pulls out a bottle of Red's Wine (it seems appropriate for the occasion), and smashes it on the hull of the ship (around the mouth area, which works to create a kind of miniscule blood effect, as if the dragon had just eaten)*

...the DRACO! The Draco will soon be able to fight the forces of good if I ever feel the need for it to. Anyway, thanks for being a witness to this great event, Montressor. Now, you'd better hurry back before Red starts to worry about where you are.

Krylma- come in


hey, the word is BED has a new psysic monitor, here's a jammer for it curtiously of CLI and a couple modifications from my labs, good luck!

*Unlocks door with the key given him by KL and enters. Lets out a low wolf-whistle as he looks at the Draco. Walks slowly around the ship, examining it in detail. Feeling very impressed, he enters the ship and similarly tours every inch of the inside, noting all weapon systems. Makes one or two notes on a clipboard regarding minor improvements in the aiming systems and the parts needed to make them. Nods his head in complete approval and exits the ship. Leaves a note for KL.*


A truly magnificent ship. It will be an honour to serve on her. I have gone to get some parts for some minor improvements to the aiming systems.


*Exits the hangar*

*Comes back in, and reads the note*

Ah, the werewolf howl from the dragon's mouth. It reminds me of the prophecy father told me. Back in Athens...


*Dreamy look comes over eyes. He snaps out of it, though, installs Yowuzupman's device, and begins setting up some machinery that will be utilized during the last stage of his current Grand Scheme. He looks over Affy's schematics, and is intent on working out how to conect the rift-maker to the PDCC. After some time has passed, KL steps back, admiring his work*

This will suffice. Of course, I can't continue without my power supply, and I can't continue without the other armies, and...

*A look comes over his face*

The other armies...this *is* the prophecy!

*Quickly runs onto the ship, intent on fulfilling the story the was recounted to him all those centuries ago. He finds the largest cargo-carrier on board (actually turns out to be very large indeed), fires up the ship, and exits the Hangar. A few moments later, he leaves an electronic note for BBW on the hangar's monitor*


BBW, I took one of the cargo-carriers. I just realized that there's a few extra stages that we really should add to the plans. If at all possible, meet me at Mt. SandEverest.

*Walks into hangar and notices KL's note. Reads note. Sets down the box of parts he was carrying and quickly scribbles a note to KL*


On my way now.


*Rushes out of hangar*

*The phone rings. At the beep, BBW leaves a message.* Hi Minos. I am at Mt. SandEverest and have contacted the wolf pack that was controlling the killer rabbit population. Meet me here: http://www.h2g2.com/F26840?thread=50863&post=633357

*The message will lie there until found by KL returns from the forum that he has been putting off going to for a while now*

*A cargo ship enters the Hangar. When it opens, severl extremely large rat-ants exit, and begin to ready themselves for whatever orders KL (their new leader) has for them. Then, two worker bots exit from the ship carrying a gigantic donut. KL follows the bots, and watches as the load the donut into the energy storage unit of the massive machine that he has been building since the start of this forum. KL looks at it, grinning. Then, he pulls out a video camera, and records the donut. He speaks into the camera*

Here it is, h2g2! The largest donut ever baked! This has enough carbs and sugar in it to power anything! And it's not just any donut, oh no. This is the Serendipidous super sugary spicey Science Site Special sponge sans strawberries showing several succulent sliced sultanas, singly suspended sub-surface, sparkling streaming sliced starfruit syrupy sauce, strinkled sublimely succulent succinum spheres, more popularly known as the S30, or the 'Unmentionable Donut'! Yes, I managed to have one made by Joanna! All it took was stealing the only existing recipe, waiting a few months for her to forget what it was, paying for the stolen recipe, and giving the recipe back to have it made for this special celebration! This donut has more than enough carbs, sugar, and hyperactive substances in it to power this machine. It could power the entire station! Now, all I have to do is wait for my shipment of killer rabbits, and get all of my STUMPED initiates here. I should also tell all of the superheroes. They'll want to stop me. I don't see why, really, but they will.

*Orders the robots to start building several traps and dangers for the room for when the heroes show up. Sits in his newly errected throne for a few minutes before leaving to check on his killer rabbit project*

*Another cargo ship enters. When these bays open, hoards of killer rabbits emerge from the cargo hold. KL exits from the cockpit, and hands some recently stolen schematics to some worker bots*

Here, make this. It's the schematics of the IIEM. Install it, and make sure that the delivery port is connected to the rift machine, and is large enough for my intended purposes. You know what to do.

*As the bots all turn to get to work, and the rat-ants begin to train side by side with the killer rabbits, KL sits in the recently built throne near the switch that would activate the not yet complete machine. KL smiles at what he sees: if all goes well, he will be able to more than quintiple his chances of conquering h2g2. All he has to do now is wait for his STUMPED minions to show up, and hope that they don't ruin everything as sidekicks often do during this kind of climactic battle*

*sea appears. so does evillene, but she doesn't ACTUALLY appear-- never mind. she's here*

[sea] *salutes sharply, standing at attention* reporting for duty, Krylma.

*evillene smacks her upside the head*

[sea] sorry, military school flashbacks.

*sea grins sheepishly. evillene rolls her eyes*

Sea, evillene, greetingage. Welcome to my Hangar. This is quite possibly the largest hangar in the entire station, thanks to the Infinite Capacity technology that I recently stole from CLI. It is also combining several other technologies: the IIEM from the Aroma Cafe, the S30 Donut from Joanna's Donut Stall, the PDCC and Rift Maker from CLI, a few old movie clips from the TDANE movies, etc. And as you can see, I've got some new friends.

*Motions to the two armies of rat-ants and killer rabbits*

These two armies plus STUMPED will make quite the terrifying foe, don't you agree?

*sea stares in awe of the hangar. evillene is unimpressed*

[evillene] this is nice... a little archaic, but nice. cozy, one might say.

[sea] ignore her. she's jealous.

*evillene sticks her tongue out at sea*

*Walks in, unnoticed and quietly observes.*

*NYC enters the hangar to see two huge cargo ships, two armies of killer rabbits and rat-ants, and KL, sea and evillene*

*sigh* will this take long?

*evillene slaps NYC*

*walks in and looks around in awe.* My Gosh I've never seen anything likes this! *tries to find a place to sit and take all this in and finally resolves to sitting on the floor*

*Notices a Rat-Ant improperly holding his weapon. Speaks quietly into his headset*

Rat-Ant Commander 56 - Please correct Rat-Ant 872's grip.

*Corrupt appears with Kudos in tow, appearing to have been in some sort of pub before entering here. They are unnoticed in the back of the hangar.*

Kudos: *whispering* Corrupt, you know it's against the law to teleport under the influence of Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters, right?

Corrupt: *whispering drunkenly* Of courze. *hic* But doz it look likes I cares? *hic*

Kudos: Never mind. Just get out of here before you blow our cover. Remember why we're here?

Corrupt: *hic* No. But I remember why youze *hic* here. You wanna ruin *hic* Krylma's plan.

Kudos: Yeah.

Corrupt: By the *hic* way, how'd you get outta that *hic* torture thing?

Kudos: I didn't tell you before, do you think I'm gonna tell you now? Now scram!

Corrupt: Fine, then. You dozn't have to be zo *hic* touchy, though.

*Corrupt dissappears, and Kudos hides behind one of the ships*