h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Alright lads and lasses!!!

*A hologram of the Masque appears*

Lady and gentlemen. Apparently some have seen fit to use my establishment to solicit buisness for themselves. This is strictly against policy here in Hangar 41, which is my private property. Untill I return from my present buisness, Sea is completely in charge here. If any person, persons, thing, things, etc. attempt to use this Hangar for their own purposes, or in any manner not sanctioned directly by Sea or myself, the security system will, unfortunately, have to be activated. Sea has the access codes, but I am officially closing the premisis now, until such time as she or I see fit to reopen this establishment. Please leave any messages or requests with the answering service at the door. Understand that the lazers, death rays, killer robots, and anti-matter mini-missiles used in the security system for this Hangar are the finest in the Galaxy. My clients deserve the best, even when I'm finished with them.

Goodbye.

*All enterances and exits begin to slam shut, one by one, leaving anyone who isn't quick enough stuck inside.*

Well. Fine.

*Mystrunner calmly walks towards the exit, which slams shut. He, however, continues to walk, and as he draws nearer to the door, it begins to groan, and slowly baloon outwards, at last tearing off its hinges and falling to the ground. Mystrunner steps over it, and leaves.*

*A robot quietly rises out of a crate with orders to destroy the vandal who damaged the hangar. Three more rise out of the crate and begin repairing the door.*

*Mystrunner pauses, and turns about.*

*The robot reaches Mystrunner, and demands an explaination.*

*Frowns*

It was closed. Now it is open. What could be the problem?

*Robot prints out a fine for damages to the door. It simultaneously arms it's multi-function cataclysmic torture device mark 2.

*Looks at the paper, then peers at the robot from beneath his cloak. Without taking his eyes off the robot, he reaches a hand behind his back, and pulls out a pouch. The gentle clink is heard, with those lovely undertones that only gold can make.*

... for the door, and, if you are interested, for the robot as well.

Hurry up will ya, I'm eating a tikka sandwich here and the source is spilling on the floor and my new Kevlar dress is stained!!!

*Robot Beeps*

Hello! I am Bot MX13-00X. I have been re-assigned into your service. Please note this owner's manual.

*The Robot's device is disarmed, and the gold transports itself into the hangar*

*Looks at the owner's manual, and motions for the robot to follow him.*

*the bot does so*


Assume that the bot is under your command now.

Can I have one!!!

*The Voice of Lenore, the Masque's computer AI, speaks*

[LENORE]: Please be more specific. One what?

A little robot to do stuff, so I don't have to, I know its sheer laziness but it's better than grafting, init!!!

[Lenore]: Please specify what functions you wish your robot to perform. What modules would you require? Anti-mater ray? Rail gun? Detention-quality grip? Interference-proof microprocesor? Televangelism?

Can I have one of those ferry things that sort of fly around wearing a skirt and one of those black swirly things that sort of sucks in matter, anti-matter and mesons!!!