h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, well, well! Look who's finally awake! Sleep well G7?

*Grabs a Big Macaque and begins eating.

*Finishes his meal*

Certainly better tasting than the last fish cake that I had, but I don't feel very enlightened.

*Eats his chinchilli-dog.*

Mmph, mmph. This is quite good, really. Oops. Can someone pass the napkins, please.

*grabs a pile of palm leaves from a nearby dispenser, hands them to Garius and then slumps down in a vacant spot*

That's better. I feel good

Is there a Big Macaque with Armadill-o pickle and Bao-B-Que sauce left ?

Just this one with Gorrellish.

That'll do nicely thanks.

*munches happily*

Ivana, while we have this great view, could you tell us something about what's out there?

I wonder if there are any banana fritters on the dessert menu?

I wouldn't put it past them.

*Appears out of the trunk, wearing yet another hat, and begins wiping the picnic tables and clearing trash.*

Yes, tell us what is out there Ivana.

Yes. And I don't suppose you can tell me what the history of CLI's stocks have been up to this point, can you?

*Turns away from the group to wipe a picnic table. On the back of his uniform jacket are the words "Baobar and Grilla"*

Well folks as you can see we have a splendid view from here. The gently rising ground to our immediate front culminates in that ridge to the west of us. We’re sheltered from view until we get to the ridge so we’re safe from detection for the time being. The dead ground beyond the ridge is relatively easy going but can be seen from the mine – we’ll have to go on foot from there and use all the available cover to prevent discovery.

The crater itself is flanked by foothills and more badly broken ground. All the high passes to the Temple are heavily guarded and regularly patrolled. To go that way is madness and will lead to our detection and capture. Our only chance is to take them by surprise and go through the mine. We may get some assistance from the mines so-called volunteer workforce – they are cruelly treated and the guards are not that numerous. If we’re quick and decisive we may just make it.

Affy, as far as I know the mine is now a Joint Venture with a shadowy organisation known as the Saskatchewan Technical Union of Manufacturers, Polluters and Environmental Damagers. The JV came about when the original owners got themselves involved in a series of well intentioned but disastrous product launches into a market not ready for such innovative products in the early part of the 21st century.

The launch and subsequent failure of aerosol meat, closely followed by dehydrated water, a bread unslicer and then artificial plastic panicked CLI Management and the market lost confidence in their R&D capability. The minor success of the incandescent lobster was too little, too late and before they knew it STUMPED came in with a rescue package and bought them out on the back of a shareholder revolt. I seem to remember that there was an old Robot around the place that used to walk around muttering about “how this would never have happened in the olden days”. I think they unplugged him a few years ago.

There was talk around that STUMPED was just a front for an organisation known as STUMPED but that was just coffee machine scuttlebutt.

*Takes out her pda and makes a note not to buy the CLI IPO if she ever gets back from this trip.*

*Makes a mental note to not pursue the aerosol meat invention that he'd been planning*

This is a cool tree. I'm going to take a cutting .... if we ever get back maybe it'll grow in our own time if we take care of it.

*using SplashPhoto on her Palm*

Anyone want to see photos of my holiday?

Sure .....


*looks at palm*


..... isn't that Porthcawl

*munch*