h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

* The two Peets greet each other with the traditional Vulcan split-finger salute (no, not *that* split-finger salute, the other one!), one with the left hand, one with the right.

Together: "Aha! This isn't us - it's a clever fake! They're mirror imaged!"

* Both look at each other for a moment, then slap their foreheads.

Together: "D'oh!"

(Affy should have figured this one out my now... Wave to yourself, Affy! )

*Affy waves at himself, the other him extending a hand in greeting*

Affy1-Actually, this isn't the first time that I've had to meet up with extremely convincing duplicates of myself. So I'm not thinking too hard about this one.


Besides, I couldn't have figured it out. My V'Ger was on the fritz.

*Affy waves at himself, the other him extending a hand in greeting*

Affy1-Actually, this isn't the first time that I've had to meet up with extremely convincing duplicates of myself. So I'm not thinking too hard about this one.


Besides, I couldn't have figured it out. My V'Ger was on the fritz.

Figure waving at you from across a chasm ring any bells?

*GL looks curiously back and forth between Peet and Affy, waiting for the mystery to be solved. The "waving across a chasm" sounds vaguely familiar, but won't clarify itself.*

It's a reference to Adventure, GL. There's a room on the east end of a chasm, and you think you can see a person on the west end, waving back at you. It's not until later that you get to the west side of the chasm that you discover a great big mirror.

However, Peet, didn't you distinctly prove that it wasn't a mirror?

Aha - no, Peet didn't rule out it being a mirror - in fact, now that I reread his posts, he has deliberately pointed us in that direction.

*GL runs forwards. The other GL replicates his motions exactly. The two GL's reach out and touch fingers. Both GL's make weird faces and contort their bodies into odd postures. GL turns back to the others.*

Yup. It's a mirror all right. The chanting is still coming from beyond it, but it completely blocks the passage. Anyone have any ideas?

Nope. I'm stumped.

Ah, I see. I misread the post there.

Now, we could attempt to destroy the mirror, as long as none of us want to worry about the "bad luck" factor. We could also attempt to create a dimensional rift between here and the area directly beyond the mirror, although that would be too easy. If this were Zork One, the solution would be to simply touch the mirror, but that, once again, breaks our "One Post Solution" rules. And then, we could always try to melt it with some sort of...source.

Then again, there's the obvious solution: breaking into that room back there, and hacking their computers. If I was right about those computers "removing" or "deleting" things from the Guide, we could, conceivably, remove this mirror from our path.

I like that idea of removing it via the computers! Another idea would be to cut a hole in the mirror, but that would require a diamond ring.

*GL looks hopefully at Witty, Titania, Broelan and Sea.*

*Witty begins digging around in her pockets, eventually working her way through her tote bag, too.*

I'm a little concerned that we might attract attention to ourselves if we break the mirror. I'm leaning towards trying the computer method first.

But I'm willing to go with the majority.

*She finally produces a cordless dremel drill from her tote bag.*

I usually use this for craft projects, and I happen to have a diamond tipped bit in it right now. Maybe we could drill a peep hole.

Well, I don't care which solution we use, just as long as I get to hack away on those computers at some point in the not-too-distant future.

i'm all for the computer solution, but i'll have to just cheer you on; i'm a computer illiterate.

Diamond? Would an elf emerald work?

Affy, why don't you check out the computers while we spend an inordinately long time trying to drill through this mirror...?

Sounds like a plan, Peet! Witty can drill a peep-hole and if we need to cut a bigger hole for our own passage, Titania can use the elf emerald.

*Is torn between which action to tag along with. Decides to go with Affy, but to run back here every now and then to check progress.*

*WM reaches into a pocket and pulls out a roll of masking tape. She rips off a piece about 1 inch long and applies it to the mirror about 5 feet off the floor.*

Okay, here we go. That should help keep the mirror from shattering.

*She starts the drill and leans into the mirror, carefully keeping the bit perpendicular to the mirror. Smoke rises from the hole and Witty starts to spit onto the spot to ease the heat, but catches herself before she breaks the Terms & Conditions. Instead, she blows gently on the spot as she continues drilling.*

*Just as the motor slows down due to the battery expending itself, the bit breaks through the back side of the mirror.*

Gee, that's a tiny hole. Somebody take a peek.

* a faint, hazy beam of blue light escapes from the hole. Peet holds up his hand, and yelps as the light touches it. He pulls his hand away and nurses it for a few seconds, then looks puzzled. *

That's... COLD?????

*Affy dashes into the room, and sits in front of one of the monitors. He jiggles the mouse a bit, and stares at the screen for a few moments*

Password? HA!

*Affy cracks the wimpy security systems (ancient underground structures have great machinery, but terrible computer programming. It's a rule.), and quickly begins going through the files. A few moments pass, and Affy gasps*

Garius! You have to hear this stuff....apparently, we have been correct in our assumption that the BBC has taken control of the Guide. Furthermore, they are planning to begin a new system of rules and guidelines called the "House Rules." According to this....our forums will be monitored, and moderated by designated moderaters. If they find anything terribly offensive in the forums, it will be deleted. Overly suggestive comments, removed. Forum postings with so many smilies that they take longer than the older forum systems to load up? Moderated away. Now, while I'm generally all for stuff like that, we've got a few bigger concerns here.

No more offsite pictures (guess we won't have as many fun h2g2 Parades now, eh?), no offsite Internet links in the forums,....the BBC must have their reasons, but I find this behavior to be....upsetting, to say the least.

In any event, that does mean that I'm right about one thing: I can hack anything onto or off of h2g2 from this station. Looks like that mirror won't be a problem for much longer. Hang on, lemme see something...

*Affy types in a few commands, clicks the mouse a few times, and sees the CLI complex, still intact*

Good. Now, for something far more important than the mission itself!

*Affy zooms in, through a window, and into what looks like a kitchen area. Affy focusses the "moderation" on the leaky faucet, presses a few buttons, and watches. The faucet suddenly stops leaking. Affy gasps again*

Garius....we worked for months on ways to fix that. No amount of plumbing, science, or magic ever seemed enough to fix that faucet. But with this new power, this "moderation", it was just....fixed.

*Affy stares at the keyboards again for a while, formulating a plan....then reminds himself that he hasn't been a supervillain for ages*