h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Two figures enter simultaneously, turned sideways to enter at the same time. When they face the room, it can be seen that they are both GL. They speak in unison:*

I have managed to clone myself. Now for the operation. One of us will be locked in a cell because he will be all evil when we are done. The other can stay out here and throw the switch.

*Both GL's try to enter the cell. Then both try to let the other enter. Finally, they ask sea to push one into the cell. She complies and the other GL locks the cell door and throws the keys on the desk. The two GLs strap on the metal helmets and sit down on the floor. The GL outside the cell reaches up and flips the switch.*

ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzttttttttttttt

*The GL outside the cell blinks, then an evil grin spreads across his face*

HA HA! I am evil and I am free. You idiots put the wrong one in the cell! It feels SO good to be free of those good thoughts.

*The evil GL looks wildly around.*

Now I need to get a new name. I'll be back. Hahahahahahahahahahah.

*A voice is heard from inside the cell.*

Um, someone want to let me out of here, please.

No, I believe we chose the right one to lock up, .
Welcome, Evil Garius Lupus!

...hmm, the good one's still here...

Let's poke him with a stick!

*A figure looking almost like GL enters. He would look exactly like GL but for the stubble on his chin and the wild evil look in his eyes. This is the evil persona of GL.*

Yes, yes, by all means poke him! Who knows when the good guys will arrive to help him. Hahahahahah. Now all we need is a stick.

[Y2K proffers Big Bad Werewolf his lightsaber]

but lightsabers don't give you that feeling of power as a.... oh, I don't know... an aluminum baseball bat might...

And I just happen to have one here... he he he...

*sea paces along the cell*
look at the poor superhero... all caged up... it almost makes you feel bad for him and want to let him out.
*sees the hopeful look on GL's face*
i said ALMOST

*Fends of the various objects being poked through the bars. Presses a button on his watch and speaks into it. Looks up triumphantly.*

Just you guys wait. Soon this place will be swarming with my friends.

*has a frighteningly evil look on her face*
good, now we'll finally have SOMETHING to do...

[The three clones jump into the air and land in a configuration, facing away from each other, that would be a square if there were four of them, but since there's three, there's a nasty gap of a weak spot. They realize this and shift their positions to a triangle]

you guys might be standing there a while... the heroes have been MIA for quite a while now. but just in case, i'll be ready too.
*draws her orange-bladed lightsaber*

*taps watch.*

Testing. Testing.

I'm sure this thing is working ...

*NYC bangs on cage with baseball bat*

Quiet in there!

*laughs so hard she almost pokes out her own eye with her lightsaber*
maybe i better put this away...

[Y2K] Yes, your reflexes are up to the task should any actual superheroes enter.

[Y3K] What's MIA mean?

Missing in Action, except it looks more like inaction to me...

Maybe Uncle Heavy couldn't get in the front door! HAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahahahahahaha.... okay, I'll stop...

*enters, looking curiously around*

So, I heard that GL's evil half has been freed. Where did he go? He deserves to be congratulated! And poor good Garius in the cell... How pathetic...

[Y4K] I speck.

*tries to think up something funny and witty*

Nope, can't think of anything. Where are the heroes? They dare leave us to go rampage across all of h2g2 uninhibited? Well, I think I speak for all of us when I say: Woohoo! I'll be back soon!

*NYC runs off looking to start some trouble*

[Y2K] Great! In that case ...

[Y3K] ... the problem with taking over the H2G2 is not how to get past the superheroes!

[Y4K] It's how to take it over! [gets perplexed looks] Well, it is!

*Strides in looking wild, but in a majestic sort of way.*

Was someone looking for me?

*Looks contemptuously at GL in the cell.*

No one come to save you yet, good guy? Do they even feed you here?

*Opens the bag he is carrying and pulls out a doughnut. Eats it with conspicuous enjoyment. Finishes and exits, waving.*