h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Lil has been kidnapped! Come to the Atelier as soon as you can. Read the backlog.

*A steady blues song, not unlike "Sentimental Journey" begins playing through the agency's loudspeaker*

My name's Afgncaap5. But I've been known to be called Affy. I've been called lots of things, most of which I can't repeat because their might be kids or moderators in the audience.

It was a slow day. Then again, most days were slow lately. The last decent case that I had been on involved tracking down the whereabouts of h2g2 itself during the BBC take-over, and that one didn't exactly send in the checks. The only one I'd been paid money for ever, really, was the case to find the Finny Fish. And I'd been stiffed on the tip, too.

Fortunately I've got a little gadgeteering racket going for me. Perfectly legit, ya see, but it's still the kind of thing that people generally just don't understand.

I was busy leafing through the latest Douglas Adams novel, Salmon Of Doubt, when I noticed a shadow behind the door to my place. I watched the shadow through the hazed glass through which I couldn't see much else. I couldn't even read a neon sign through that thing. I could, however, read my name. "5paacngfA", it said as the door handle turned.

In walked a character known as Garius Lupus around these parts. He was one of the few characters on my list of "trustables", a list that's very short these days. I even took myself off of it after I made a few lousy deals with clients. But I quickly tossed my book to the side and pulled my feet offa my desk.

He had a case for me. Asteroid Lil had been involved in a kidnapping, it seemed, and she was on the business end of it. I was naturally concerned. Not only had she been a decent friend and upstanding citizen here on the Island ever since I'd known her, but she was also renting out a studio that I happened to own. As a friend and landlord, I was naturally concerned.

I took the case. I replaced my adventure outfit with a suit. I traded my lab coat for a trench coat. I even put away my OmeGauntlet and took out my .45 revolver. Then I brought out a magnifying glass and a camera, just to be on the safe side. Then I caved and stuffed a few other potentially useful gadgets into the pockets of my trenchcoat. The first place to search was Lil's Atelier.

*A look of relief settles on GL's face as Affy agrees to take the case. While Affy's methods aren't always conventional, he DOES get results. GL follows Affy as he leaves the office.*