h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Afgncaap5 was sitting behind his desk, reading the latest edition of the POST. It had been a while since his last case, but he had never expected the agency to be a big pay up. That's why he set up CLI. When he was about to call it a day, the door burst open, and a figure identical to Affy walked in through the door*

CLONE AFFY-Hello, there. I've come to reclaim what is rightfully mine!

AFFY-What?

CLONE-In other words, I *WANT MY REAL BODDY BACK*!!! I'm sick of being a symbiote with you! You're a holistic detective, and a superhero! CLI barely knows the *meaning* of the phrase 'mad science'! So, that's why I'm doing this!

*The clone pulls out a snowzar (set for two days), and shoots Affy. When Affy is trapped under the miniscule glacier, the clone morphs into the form of the Krylma Leader*

Well, this is going well. Already taken care of stealing the supplies from CLI, so just one thing left to do!

*The Krylma Leader walks down the hall of jail cells, and locates the one with his body in it. It is resting in a cryo-genic chamber, looking very much like the frozen lizard-person that it once was. The Krylma Leader spits acid at the cell, walks in through the new door, and pushes the cryo-genics tube out of the cell*

Now, if only hench-person would show up. I'd hate to have to do all of this myself...

*Sighs*

Oh, well. Thirty minutes, and not one goon shows up. Oh, well.

*Pushes the button on his cloak, which releases a strange gas, making it impossible for anything to disturb him*

I just love this stuff! Anyone other than a member of STUMPED breathes it...well, too bad for them!

*Sets up some stolen CLI equipment*

[The three clones enter]

[Y2K] So, Krymla Leader, we're glad you got here!

[Y3K] And now we're getting rid of you're good self!

[Y4K] Things seem to be going well.

*Finishes altering the CLI equipment, and turns to Y3K*

Interesting way you have of saying that, Y3K. Might I ask one favor of you? Hmmm?

*Morphs all the way into Krylma Leader, extends his claws, grabs Y3K by the neck, and lifts him into the air*

From this point on, do *NOT* reffer to Afgncaap5 as my good self. After this, we will no longer be symbiotes. He will go back to being the bumbling mad scientist that he is, and I will go back to ruling the...never mind. Even though people can't come in here, they can still listen. Wouldn't want to give away my plans before everything is ready!

*Puts down Y3K, opens the cryo-genic device, and puts the psyche-scanners into place on the heads of his old body and the frozen Afgncaap5*

Now, listen my good clones, and listen well. We can afford no mistakes. When I flip this switch, the psyche-scanners that I altered will first scan Afgncaap5's brain for my presence. Then, with a handy little gadget not unlike Affy's PDCC, it will transfer my presence into my body. When that happens, Affy and I will probably be incapable of really doing anything for a while. When that happens, I don't know what will become of me. Because those two are no longer symbiotes, it is quite possible that I will cease to exist in this form. If that happens, I am depending on the three of you to cart me to somewhere safe. Understood?

*Decides not to wait for a reply. He pulls the lever, and the lights in the room dim significantly. Electrical currents are passing through the frozen Affy and the vegetable-like body of the Krylma Leader. This lasts for only a few moments when the machines finish their work and shut down, Affy and The Krylma Leader fall onto the floor, and the Affy/Krylma symbiote glances up at the three clones*

It worked! Now, take me somewhere safe, before Afgncaap5 wakes up!

*The symbiote slowly fades from existence, and the new Krylma Leader groans slightly*

*soeasilyamused acts quickly, grabbing the krylma leader and hauling him off to her secret hideout*
ugh, you're heavy!!!

[Y2K] [reprovingly] Use the Force, Sea.

*blushes*
oops... i knew i was forgetting something...

*The Krylma Leader blinks a few times, and stands up*

Krylma Leader-It doesn't matter now. I'm fine, Afgncaap5 didn't wake up, and the super heros either didn't notice, or they weren't brave enough to enter. Let's go...

*Slowly walks to a secret hiding place, followed by the other members of STUMPED. A few hours later, Afgncaap5 wakes up, remembers everything that happened, and gets some aspirin*

*GL walks in and reviews the security tapes. HIs eyes open wide in wonder.*

Affy! Do you think we could modify that apparatus so that it could remove my schizophrenic evil half. It's not quite the same as for you where there were two real minds inhabiting one body. In my case, it is one mind divided into parts. Maybe if we change the polarity on the fributreader ....

*GL's eyes glaze over as he ponders the changes necessary. He suddenly comes back to the present with a start.*

Oh. But it won't work. We would need a body.

*GL's eyes light up.*

A clone! That's what we need - a clone. We simply swap the evil part of me with the good part of the clone. Then I will be twice as good and the clone will be ... uh oh ... twice as evil. Maybe if we have the clone in one of these cells, or something, before we pull the switch.

[Y2K] Why not halve your personality ...

[Y3K] ...leaving both you and the clone half as good and half as evil?

[Y4K] But each with the opposite halves.

I'd prefer not to be left a half-wit at the end of it all. Evil or Good.

*Recalls some technology at CLI that might be able to be adapted for cloning. Rushes off to begin.*

[Y2K] Good, that's got rid of him.

[Y3K] You did that?

[Y4K] No, but it's still got rid of him.

*rubbing her temples*
all this good guy/bad guy stuff is giving me a headache... affy, at some point you will explain what this whole mission just accomplished, won't you? not here, obviously, but... anyways. i'm going to go have a nice, hot shower.

[The clones wave goodbye]

*sea enters, rubbing her wet hair with a towel*
aaah, much better

[The clones wave hello]

*sea looks at them for a moment, then gives them a short wave*
this is getting silly...

[Y2K] So what?

[Y3K] This is the H2G2!

[Y4K] We're SUPPOSED to be silly!

and evil. silly and evil.

*NYC looks around, wanting to flip over furniture and generally mess up the place, but barred due to the distinct lack of furniture...*