h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

thanks, sea, but I'd watch out for affy if I were you...

*NYC forgoes sleeping and starts working on bars with a blowtorch*

*locks door*
may not help, but i feel safer...
*looks at jonny, who has just woken up in the cell*
jonny, sweetie... come here.... leave NYC alone, okay? don't eat him...
*jonny looks at NYC, then crawls between the bars to sea, who starts petting him*

*NYC sighs in relief. he also gives up on the bars and retreats to his cot*

bad things to me have been happening in great force these days...

i'm bored.
*points a finger at the walls, which suddenly grow pink leopard fur*
much better...
*points at desk, which becomes pink leopard print as well*
that looks funny....
*giggles*

*GL walks in, disguised as a carpenter.*

Got a work order here for repairing a floor. What seems to be the prob... Oh. I see.

*GL bustles about, cutting boards and nailing them on the floor to cover the hole. With 2 boards left to go, GL straightens up and walks over behind sea to get some more nails. As sea peers into the narrow hole in the floor, GL gives her a push from behind and she tumbles into the hole with jonny. GL quickly nails the last 2 boards in place. GL grins at the villains in the cell *

Don't worry. Eventually she'll find the exterior exit to the basement.

You'll never get away with this! (wrong side, but who cares... )

*NYC takes his secretly hidden handgun from a coat pocket that didn't exist until ten minutes ago, and fires it a GL. A forcefield next to the bars deflects to bullet and causes it to richochet all over the cell, bringin forth much panic and confusion*

AAK! when was that put up? maybe you WILL get away with this...

[And with that, YC bursts in, hacks the bars to bits with a silver-bladed lightsaber, frees the other clones, and turns to GL]

[YC?] Did you REALLY think you could get away with this? [punches GL out]

[Y2K] YC! I /knew/ you'd turn back to our side!

[YC?] I'm not YC! I'm Y2C!

[Three Clones] Y2C!?

[Y2C] Yeah. YC cloned himself. I turned to the Dark Side and cloned myself three times. [into comlink] Ready party.

[Y3C has green hair, Y4C has a mohawk, and YQ has white hair]

*hears all that from below*
oh no, not MORE of them...

what does that make.... 6? 7? 12?.... ow... my head hurts...

*NYC looks around at the rather tacky pink leopard skin furnishings, and decides to take up the newly placed boards and drag sea (...and yes, jonny, painfully) out*

change this look! it hurts my eyes...

*looks rather happy*
okey dokey!
*waves a hand at the walls. the pink leopard disappears and becomes whatever it was before*
hey, guys, guess what! i made friends with all the creepy crawlies down there! they're so cute...
*kneels near the hole she was pulled out of and telekinetically lifts out all her new pets, which look at NYC with extreme interest*
now, now, guys... no eating my friends...
*sea climbs onto the couch and her menagerie follows*

*NYC looks in his coat*

oh yeah, this must be why...

*NYC pulls out 3 bags of popcorn, 4 strips of beef, 13 dr. peppers, 5 flasks of gargle blaster, a full pizza pie, yesterday's chinese take-out, and a stick of gum. he watches all of sea's newfound friends scramble and devour his entire stock*

well, at least they have no more interest in ME, anymore...

i guess affy must not have fed them... poor babies.
*pets jonny, who had already eaten his fill and climbed back onto her lap*

[Y2C] Seven.

[Y2K] And I thought /I/ was strange!

[Y3K] You were right, too.

*Affy, for some reason, has been ignored by the villains for enough posts to allow him to sneak out, and sneak back in a few posts later. Affy points his OmeGAuntlet at sea and all of the clones, who become frozen*

That should take care of them for long enough to get Chrome over here. Now, just one last villain to have fun with.

*An evil grin spreads across Affy's face as he pulls out the transmitter that can control all of the fuzzy little monsters. Affy tunes their attention to NYC*

Sick 'im!

*Several thousand tiny little monsters lunge at NYC*

[Y2K breaks free and fires an ion cannon at the critturs. They immediately stop. Affy is knocked out by Y4C. YQ is nowhere to be seen]

*sea generates some lightning and thaws herself*
ugh. i hate being frozen... reminds me of the ice age. terribly boring, that was.
*looks at all her little monsters*
you guys are hazardous to NYC's health.
*steals affy's controlling device and throws affy into a holding cell*
now you stay there until i can figure out how to override those chips... but until then...
*sets the device on the floor and stomps on it, destroying it. (this has no effect on the monsters)*
much better...

does this mean I gave up all my food for nothing?

[Y2K] Of course not.

[Y3K] Affy was controlling them ...

[Y4K] ... using the chips.

[Y2Q] When Sea gets rid of the chips,

[Y3Q] you won't need to worry about ...

[Y4Q] ... them at all.

[All six] We hope.

yeah... if only i knew how to get rid of the chips. don't let me forget to ask the KL about that.
*looks at all the clones*
wow... that is trippy.

yeah, well they got rid of MY chips...
...my jalapeno chips are gone...

*NYC looks at the clones*

I'm seeing double...