h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Will she let you out?

Oh, sure - she got her batteries, the curse thing's done with, she can roam the grounds now. I mean, she's _supposed_ to be going back to her cave but I don't think she wants to... and frankly, I don't blame her.

*Politely* So unless I can get you anything, Mr. Vestie, I think I should be leaving now.

Leaving?

I know the Incident of the Sphinx was rather exciting - well, more petrifying - but I do recall my order... every fourth item in each section of the menu...

Don't worry about it. Get it when you're ready, if you would please. Take your time, of course.

* Sits at a table and mentally runs through the heroic and adventurous events of the previous few days.

*Checks the menu for the fourth items.*
Fourth starter - Soup of the day
Fourth main course - Squidburger and Chips in its own ink.
Fourth dessert - Spotted Dick and Custard
Fourth beverage - Fizzy Sherry.

Yeah, you can put me down for that as well.

Oh, would you like to ask the sphinx what she wants?

*Looks at the immobile Baryonic Being and Vestboy and wonders how long they've been waiting*

I'm awfully sorry sirs, it's because of the holidays you see, I'm not around as often as I should. I'm sorry you had to wait so long.
Now Mr. Vestie, it seems you're looking at the wrong menu, I don't know how it got there... here's one of ours: F1767053?thread=397788#p5059357 but the thing is that most sections only have two or three items... so, Black cherry and liqueur ice cream for both of you sirs?

Yeah, that'll do.

Very well sirs, I'll bring it over right away.

Now, as for the sphinx... hm, doesn't look like she's around, probably went for a walk or something. Alright then---

I'M RIGHT HERE.

Oh goodness, you've got some voice... makes me jump every time!

SORRY ABOUT THAT, CAN'T HELP IT.

Ah well. Can I get you anything to eat ma'am?

HMMM... ANYTHING DEEP-FRIED WILL DO. AS A MATTER OF FACT, MAKE THAT EVERYTHING DEEP FRIED, I'M STARVING.
AND A DIET COKE PLEASE.

She must be looking after her figure.

*Hilary pads in. He or she drops a brightly coloured ball at Khenti's feet and, wagging his or her stumpy polar bear tail, looks as though he or she expects it to be thrown again*

*Brings over two dishes of ice cream, put in special thermal containers to keep them cold until the next post. Also brings over an assortment of deep-fried stuff for Khenti, which seems to have disappeared in the meanwhile*

Where's she gone to again?



*Outside the window, Khenti seems to be playing fetch on the lawn with Hilary*

Grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!*



(* Polarbearese for 'Yabba Dabba Doo!!!')

*wonders in looking for breckfast

Has anyone seen 2Legs breakfast?

What does it look like?

If it looks like two fried eggs, bacon, sausage, beans, chips, mushrooms and a round of toast, then *burp* no, I haven't seen it *buuurp* pardon me.

No, His had black pudding and waffles as well, I think.
*dips waffle in egg yolk behind back*

*Wonders how all those breakfasts got there when she clearly didn't bring any because she wasn't around*

Um... in a somewhat unrelated subject, you don't happen to know if the Hotel hired any more employees lately, do you? I'm just asking, no reason.

I'm not sure Lady P. Do any of you boys know?

*All four men carrying the HHH Bar Piano Player's Sedan Chair shake their heads*

Fair enough.

Oh... *Takes another look at sedan chair, a little puzzled* It appears a lot have changed while I was gone, doesn't it sir?

Oh, I don't know. When I get back to my tent, I'll ask my PA. And my butler and the banjo-polisher and Hilary's butler and the chef and the gardener. I'll see if any of them know anything about new staff.

*Still puzzled* Yes, sir.