h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*reaches into the pocket of his skin tight sliver spandex suit and takes out a test tube of red fluid*

Here take this

*rubs red fluid on vest*
Now what?

er you should have drank that, now I'm afraid thats gonna burn

*runs for cover*

*Mystical vest absorbs fluid in an amazing way and is prepared to release properties when Vestie scratches the stain.*
That's why I'm called Vestboy.

*2 eyes appear over the top of the vending machine*

Is it safe yet?

*trips over weights left on floor and headbutts vending machine causing boiling coffee to squirt out the top, narrowly missing Cal.*
Safe as houses!

*comes out from behind the vending machine wear an all purpose anti anything suit*

Thats a nifty little number. Do they have it in different colours?
*Accidentally leans on water fountain button and squirts water on Cal's shoes.*

*watches from inside the protection of his suit*

It comes in gold, baby blue & fire engine red

Mind you don't slip on the water.

*glides (rather gracefully it must be said) into the rowing machine*


aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


Ouch!

Can you get a refund on the suit?

*tries to untagle himself from the rower*

I don't know I think it was designed with the thought that things were gonna be thrown at it

*Sigh*
They always have these stupid loopholes in the agreement don't they?
I'm in the 'lympics y'know! 'Skating High Dive'
I probably should be in Athens right this minute but I'm not sure where you get the bus.

It's at the corner of the street, the bus stop for athens

*inspects the suit for loopholes*

*Peers at suit*
There's one!
*Points at hole with arrow pointing to it with the word 'loophole' written in leaky biro.*

Do you know the time of the next bus?

*inspects the loophole*

ummm 10am I think might be 10 past 10 or there abouts

*takes out his loophole glue and tries to fix it*

*Wanders towards bus stop*
Do you want to come along for the ride? You could make sure that whatever I eat or drink doesn't have drugs in it.

You've missed a bit. *points*
Here let me.
*Takes loophole glue, rubs some on vest, glues knees together and finds he can't open one of his eyes.*
Stand still!
I'm just going to give it a good squirt.

Well really I just don't think you should

*vestboy well and truley glues cal inside the suit and also glues himeslf to the suit*

Looks like I'm comming with you whether I like it or not

do you think we have to pay bus fare for both of us or is there a discount for being joined at the ... How would you describe where we are joined?
*Sees bus approaching the stop and breaks into a run*