h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Buses in Bristol, UK - A2315602
Author: David Shoare(or Zaphod Beeblebrox) - U599405

Hello there,
This is my very first entry I've sent to review so I hope the criticism I get is constructive!
Let me introduce my entry: I have had a lot of experience with the bus system in my city, good and bad, and I think that the system has a lot to say for itself. It has been the subject of arguements, tantrums, brawls and city council meetings and I think that it is a great, if a lot of the time bad, example of British transport. Oh no, I'm starting to sound like a politician aren't I?!
Anyway, be nice, it is my first!!!

Hi David welcome to Peer Review.. This is a really good first entry. I've just got a couple of points..

All EG entries need to be in the first person, so you'll need to remove "if you ask me" when refered to the colour of the buses.

There's no need to have the introduction in bold, it's house style to only use Bold for sub sub headers.

The powers that be have to be slightly careful about not defaming people. Before it's edited it's just your opinions, but after it's edited it the BBC that published it. Have a peruse of the rules on defamation and see if you think that's there's anything you should reword. (Oh and here's a link - A656796 )

*All EG entries need to be in the first person* No no no Z!

All EG entries should be in the third person, not the first person!

Have a look at the Guidelines on A53209 which will give you the gen on what's expected of an entry.

Good stuff by the way

I'll be back with more later...


F/b

My main concern would be that there seems to be rather a lot of information that will get out of date, such as prices and zones. Entries in the EG tend to be static.

Not sure what to suggest as an alternative really, perhaps find another thing which costs about the same and will probably remain roughly in line?

Any other suggestions anyone?

I actually find this quite offensive. Do you actually live in Bristol?

I've lived in Bristol my whole life - that's 19 years - up until recently, and I've not had a problem with the bus services.

The drivers are NOT lazy to begin with. If you had to deal with the kind of people that they do (one got stabbed the other week up in Hartcliffe - read the news), you would understand the certain stand-offish-ness that they possess. They aren't paid altogether that much considering the fact that a lot of the services end up at the undesireable areas of the city (Hartcliffe, St. Pauls etc), and have to deal with a constant stream of people. Most are also ex-coach drivers. And most speak perfectly presentable English thankyou (as do I).

Those buses left idle, are those waiting for a changeover. The empty ones are usually waiting to go ON service. Any that aren't working can be found in the various bus stations around the city (the main being in the middle of the city, near the Bristol Eye Hospital).

As for the "lateness" - it usually happens during rush hour. This is because huge amounts of people pile onto the buses at one time, thus delaying the vehicle. Even when back up buses are put onto the route, people still complain.

"large chunks of local newspaper The Evening Post have been devoted to this in the past. An essential item you will need if you want to complain to bus drivers about their punctuality effectively is a stopwatch. Check the timetables at the stops, and if it goes over by more than 15 minutes, have a go at the bus driver. Do complain, every time. It's fun and most of the bus drivers are simple minds who have had their brains sucked in by the evil corprate empire that is First anyway so using your sharp Hitchhiker wit with them should blow their brains out."

That above section of writing is completely unacceptable. The Evening Post caters to the elderly, and those who have nothing better to do than complain about the only thing that isn't consistent in their lives. Calling bus drivers "simple minds" is just so offensive. Encouraging people to complain is fine - when there is a cause. Getting upset because there is a delay (and I've never been on a bus when the driver hasn't apologised) and then ripping the out of a driver when it's not their fault is just plain wrong.

All in all, why not take this out of Peer Review and retitle it "My Favorite Complaints against Bristol Bus Drivers"...



You also have nothing about Sunday/Holiday services, nor the main, most popular bus services (like the number 75, which travels through the heart of the city).

I am editing the entry now, with your comments noted. It is too opinionated and offensive, and now come to think of it, what was I thinking?? I really need to practice being unbiased. I suppose that my personal experience of the subject has led me to this, and since I live in Filwood, where some of the bad things happen, I've seen more rubbish than good.
Sorry about that. See what you think after I've done the latest edit.

Well, I've done my latest edit, I think it's a lot better now, but I think to some the info about tickets would seem confusing so I'll do a bit more research into it if it is.
I'm sure people will tell me if there are any other tweaks to be made, so I shall see if there's any other stuff to be done on it.
Thanks for the criticism It's made me think about it far more carefully and I hope that this latest edit has bought it up a notch in terms of quality.

Anybody there? I'd like some feedback about this... I want to know if it is better!!!

Hi David...

I didn't see the earlier versions, but based on the messages here, I guess you have toned it down a bit.

It's still has a slightly negative tone to it, though.

I've only been to Bristol once, and that was for less than 24 hours, so I can't really comment on the bus system. I *think* I saw some buses, but primarily I took a taxi to and from the train station when I was there last July.

Putting prices in an entry can affect its "timelessness", however if the prices haven't changed significantly in recent history and there's no known increases about to happen then it shouldn't be a huge problem. You might be able to generalize it by saying "a pound or two" instead of "80p to 140p" (sorry, I can't easily create a pound sign with my current keyboard layout).

I'm going to keep my eye on this because I think it has promise.

Cheers!

I'm from Nailsea originally, so I know a little about the subject.

First off, thanks for the link to the Bristle site - quite funny really

How about mentioning the main spots for busses in the city centre - ie Broadmead etc.

Also, you could mention that you can get a bus for the outlying towns etc at the bus and coach station.

Other than that, it does what it says on the tin...

sprout

I've added a bit about the Centre and the Bus Station.
I can't think of anything else too do to it. I know it's still really negative, but I don't feel that I can balance it or take some negative bits away.
What do you think?

Looking a lot better Sometimes it's just a question of tone... for example where you say "There is not bad coverage of Bristol by the buses" you could be a little more positive with something like "The bus network in Bristol is quite extensive with routes covering the majority of the city". How d'you think that?

Greetings!

My local buses are run by First too - they're taking over the world! In my neck of the woods they've improved a lot in the last year or so - I think they changed some routes and timetables to fit traffic flows and reliability (if not frequency) has improved, so it can be done!

Anyway, I have some comments on this entry which may or may not be useful. The latest version sounds much improved from the version that Saturnine responded to, which is . If you want to make the piece less negative, a good way to do this would be change the introduction, which sets the tone of the piece. Rather than introducing it as something contriversial, you could start with some facts and figures (if you can find them).

Can you find any info on how many people travel on Bristol buses every day / how big an area they cover / how many routes and so on. This might sound a little dull (bus-spotterish?!), but it would get the entry off to a nice factual start.

"That, unfortunately, presents a problem for some travellers, as there is no alternative bus company to First buses, so no competition and continually improved service because of competition, and taxis are uneconomical in the long run, so the only other plausible alternative they have is to buy a car, which to most people travelling on these buses is either too expensive or out of their reach as they are either banned from driving, too young, too old, too drunk or too lazy to learn how to drive."

I think the first part is fair comment about the lack of competition - keep that it! The main problem with this is it's a *very* long sentence indeed - could you split it up a bit? It might also be worth changing the list of people who *can't* travel by car. The largest groups are children and young people and those who can't afford to travel by car, so these groups should probably come first in the list. Also in that list should be those who don't want to pollute the environment by driving, and those who want to have a few pints - not quite the same as "too drunk" but not far off!

Also, could you break the "On Bristol buses" paragraph up into smaller paragraphs - it's a bit big at the moment.

More to follow - got to dash!

Otto

The author seems to have left the building - where do we think this should go?

Back to entry I believe. There is rather too much information here that is going to go out of date very quickly. The whole thing is rooted very much in the here and now. It's not as if it was a piece about the development and history of the Bristol public transport system.

OK! You can add it into your e-mail

Well, myself I tend to take the view that entries like this about the here and now are the very stuff that a living, breathing EG should contain - and it's far more use and interest than a history of transport in Bristol would be.

But I guess that's just me.

Not just you, Six! My niece visited Venice recently and brought a print out of the h2g2 Venice entry with her. That's the sort of guide we want.

That and the Prague entry are probably the two things I've been proudest to be involved with on h2g2, and it's great to hear someone out there's actually getting some use from it

Well, the thing is, if no scout is picking it, and there's no author around to improve it, it needs moving otherwise it's just clogging up PR. There's been plenty of time for it to be picked...