h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*watches the previous proctile sail over GDZ's head and continue toward Garius*

/* Zeppo jumps out of the moat at the site (and scent) of the Swedish Meatballs and sits dripping in front of Titania */

/* d'E wades back into the water and starts feeling around for the submerged Red Dog */

As long as it's not a proctologist. A crocodile I can deal with. Oh here he is. Breath man, breath.

*Scrapes some glop off of Red Dog*

We should have you out of there shortly.

*Continues to play dead*

*Sneaks up on GDZ and .*

*Turns his back and bends over to adjust the trebuchet. The proctile hits GL. GL stands bolt upright.*

I assmue that is a tickle smiley?

*Jerks upright, scramble away from Witty, right into the sand castle*

Indeed it is.

*Wiggles her fingers menacingly at GDZ.*

*pulls back to get out of the line of fire - and the falling-apart sand castle, enticing Zeppo to follow her by waving Swedish meatballs in front of him*

*once getting the feeling of safely being out of the line of fire, she flips a meatball at Zeppo, and then pops one into her mouth*

A proctile is a cross between a proctologist and a projectile! One has hit GL in the b*m!

/* Rapidly gets out of the water and sits down */
<-- begging for another meatball

The sandcastle is ruined! You've destroyed my model of the Coal Mine!

And really, I was just about to do the Royal Puzzle. Smash that instead!

*looks at the sandcastle ruins*

*puts the matter out of her mind and goes down to see whether Red Dog is OK* Hey fella, can you move yet?

*the elastic band finally gives up under the strain, snaps and the readied gloop ball lands on her foot*

Ow, ow, ow, ow!

*hopping around on one foot*

*Decides now would be a bad time to mention the "liquify rock-like substances" spell that he just noticed in his spell book*

*Stands up, wanders towards Garius, trips over Garius, lands on the trebuchet.*

*has hauled the unconscious Red Dog out of the water and is scraping the last of the softened glop off him*

*sees GDZ fall on the trebuchet* Hah! An equal-opportunity buffoon!

Ah, Red Dog is back on the job. Well, I must say that we've gone a nice long time without any casualties, then.

Ever since BlueBottle was deaded I've had to count my lucky stars....

I "aim" to please, Lil.

*rubs foot*

Stupid elastic band!

*having finished his steak dinner, Amos has been spending the interim time practising his plasma aim on assorted moths*

*now he stands up and pulls GDZ up off the remains of the trebuchet*

Young man, you've shown helpfulness, adaptability, cooperation, creativity, awareness of Continuity, and now self-sacrifice. It's time you were graduated out of being the apprentice here.

*looks around* Does everyone else agree that the Good Doctor Zomnker deserves a place as a full-fledged Hootoo Adventurer? Speak now or forever hold your peace!