h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Not necessarily - might be one of those 'break in case of emergency' glasses, and they're not very hard to break...

*sets her nanogun to TYPEX*

Very true Ti.
*Loads his hand crossbow.*

*Looks at his "Zendor" and "Zimbor" spell scrolls*

I ever tell you people about how the Endless Fire got started?

*Sets his OmeGauntlet to "Deep Freeze-2 Hours"*

*the left doors open and a woman in a trenchcoat exits and walks to the administrative offices. She is barefoot. She wears a great deal of makeup and has very long hair, dyed blonde*

*the apes are clearly stunned and offer no impediment to her progress as she walks through the door*


Helloooo, boys. Why Lindt, whatever happened to your trousers? Were you thinking of me?

Could anybody tell whether that woman was carrying any weapons under her trenchcoat?

*Looks up and sniffs the air*

What is that beautiful smell?

Not really. Went by too fast, plus I've never been an expert and noticing concealed weapons.

Well, I suppose you could call those weapons.

*Elbows Lindt.*

The lady's t-talking to yeh, Lindt.

*Steps between Lindt and Lady Godiva*

Why yer talkin to somun without pants, miss? When yer kin be talkin ter somun real cool-like. Like me, ma'am. An' I even'ze gots an extra pair er pants, clean an' everythin. They wuz washed a'fore I bought 'em.

*Leans on the now smoldering reports in the in-box*

*sits on a desk and crosses her legs, causing the coat to fall away from her bare thighs*

*if she is wearing a skirt, it's a very short one*

*throatily* Why, Sweetie, are you cool?

*Steps in front of the Kid*

Cool? You want cool? I kin show yeh cool! Watch this!

*Pulls out an antique six-gun and in a blurr of motion fires into the wall near the plant next to the elevators, creating a heart shape.

Looking smug, Butch lifts the gun to blow the smoke from the muzzle, but accidentally inhales a little as he glances at the bare thighs in front of him. He explodes in a coughing fit. Eventually, with red, streaming eyes, Butch says:*

How's that fer cool?

*drops to the floor at the sound of gunfire, but is relieved when she realises the bullets were aimed at the wall on the other side of the corridor*

Did anybody count? Is he out of bullets?

I didn't count, sorry, I was busy ducking myself.

Is this what working in an office is like?

Hospitals are rarely like this, in spite of scantily clad patients.

*frowns*

There's something odd about this - you couldn't possibly create a recognizable heart shape with just six bullets... could it be a modified model?

Who knows what they've done to the basic 6-shooter in the last 42,000 years? I think there's at least 15 holes in the wall over there. And it's a lopsided heart.

Yeah, it IS kinda lop-sided, isn't it. It looks familiar though. Caer, isn't that heart similar to the one in your frying pan?

It is strangely familiar.