h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Sees something out of the corner of his eye, turns, sees the brownie mix, tries to duck it, gets caught on the left shoulder.*

AHHHHH!

You got wun of them critters Hersh

*loads and fires an RPG round at a random*

Anyone know how's Moe getting on ? Good job Curly and Larry aren't here

*demonstrates her wallhugging abilities (acquired after many years of attending the first day of Harrod's sale when it was the only way to get out of the building alive) and follows Lil, smartly*

*breaks open a padlock securing a large grey gun cabinet in the rear of the storeroom, removes a 0.5in Browning Heavy Machine Gun, hauls it over to the door, set sit on a tripod and loads it with 9 yards of belt fed ammo*

*Lindt depresses the trigger and large calibre slugs spray out everywhere*

TAKA - TAKA - TAKA - TAKA - TAKA - TAKA - TAKA - TAKA - TAKA

*large chunks of masonry and plaster are gouged out of walls, wooden doorframes are splintered, glass is shattered and pipes are burst in moments*

Hoooweee

*Stays as close to the floor as she can, but still gets hit with a slug. She peels it off her butt and tosses it away.*

Eeewwwwww! They are so gross! At least snails have those cute litte shells.

Damn those invertebrates ...... they git everywhere in this damp atmosphere

Now the fog's gittin thicker n' cotton candy !

*slaps in a new belt of guaranteed mollusc free ammo and blazes away into the encroaching mist and the shadows within it*

*Tries to crawl from the desk to the other Chocos, but gets lost in the fog. Decides to find his way by hugging the wall in a counterclockwise direction.*

*All the misuse of scimitars, fog and confusion cause Affy to duck in such a way that would have rendered him headless had the Moe's original intentions been carried through. As it is, Affy only has a scrape on his arm that'll probably have to be looked at later. Affy continues fighting, but is moving towards the Salonistas*

*Hersh sees a salonista through the mist and presses the trigger on the Browniemixthrower ...... and gets nothing but a hiss*

Must've run out of juice

*unstraps the tanks from his back and discards at the rear of the storeroom not noticing that the tanks continue to hiss*

*pulls out a sidearm, checks its action then positions himself next to Lindt*

Hush boys hush ..... we need to play this cute and listen fer them

Git yer guns ready fer when yew hear sumthin

*has been crawling along when she comes face to face with a filing cabinet which is sitting against the wall*

*Overhears Toby. Having taken the teacup from the lounge, WM tosses it into the center of the room in an attempt to divert attention from the wall hugging salonistas.*

*Recovers enough from the brownie mix to start his egress with the rest of the Solonistas.*

*Comes to, groggily, and rubs his throat where the Gobold had gripped him. Sits up, looks to his left and sees the two Gobolds laid out. Grins.

Stands up, but gets dizzy and his vision blurs. Sits back down. Finds his ladle on the ground, picks it up and hooks it on his belt.Hears his fellow chocos nearby and crawls towards them, muttering.*

*When the fog descends, Butch's view of Lady Godiva is partially obscured. He gets up off of the floor and whispers to her.*


Okay, Lady, this is our chance to be alone. The boys can finish up here. Follow me.


*Butch takes Lady Godiva's hand and begins following the wall around the room.*

*Puts his hand on a half-frozen liver and recoils in initial horror. Then he looks more closely at it and picks it up. He turns it over in his hand then puts it in his pocket for tonight's stew. He continues crawling towards the pillbox, now humming a happy tune.*

Toby, Lindt .... anywun hear that mutt'rin an hummin ? Tain't natural that !

*unnerved by the sound of humming and muttering from other parts of the room, Lil stands and feels around on top of the filing cabinet, where the finds a plant in a terracotta pot*

*As he gets closer to the pillbox, the occupants may decipher the tune he is humming as "I left my heart in San Francisco"*

Taint natural bud .... gotter be wun of them.

LET EM HAVE IT BOYS

*a murderous firefight breaks out with Russ taking the full force head on and is torn apart. The liver in his hand spins upwards to adhere to the ceiling and his other liver sails across the room to land with a plop and a quiver on Lil's head. Russ's head with lips still pursed in a hum lands in Witty's lap and the left hand lands on GDZ's shoulder spasms and grips it. An ear falls onto Caer who can't quite make out what it is in the mist and a lump of something drops at d'E's feet who steps in it*

*when the noise dies down a happy yellow dog can be seen running away with a whole leg in it's mouth and Affy is standing there with a foot impaled on the top of his sword*

*Hersh is lying flat on his back unconcious with a ladle next to him*