h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Throws his gun onto the floor in disgust*

Man, this is bad. Well planned, but bad. That was an illegal Cross-Continuity Jump. I'm going to have a word with the people at STUMPED about this.

*Walks around, sets his snowzar on reverse, and unfreezes all of the frozen people. Notices that the Krylma Leader stole something from the locked cabinet he was looking at a few days ago*

*removes gag & bindings from Joanna*

Joanna, you OK? Speak to me!

I..I..I'm c..c...cold...

*shivers*

w..w..wh..what h..happened?

Joanna should be fine, seeing as these were only Snowzars, and not any other kind of weapon. A Polka Gun or Sleetzar could've caused serious damage in this case. But they were after something. This was too deliberate.

*Pulls out his scanner and scans the padlocked cabinet*

Well, based on my last scan, they only took one thing. It was that strange metal thing. And it looks like the werewolf also took a recipe.

*Sighs*

STUMPED attacked the donut stall, one of the most respected forums in h2g2. Why?

*Rushes in, breathless*

Oh, no. Was I here in my wolf form a little while ago? Sometimes I can't remember what I do - I have these blackouts. The other day, I found a STUMPED membership card in my wallet. Don't know how it got there.

Could I have a toffee-honey EBA, please.

*runs over to Aroma Cafe, gets hot chocolate to go, runs back*

Joanna, wrap your hands around this, it'll help warm you.

And chocolate's good is a crisis.

*shakily hands over a toffee-honey EBA, & replays the CCTV footage of the incident for GL, which has, through some miracle, remained intact*

*Stares at GL*

Garius, if you were the wolf that was just here, you could've seriously harmed someone! Joanna's cold (along with most of the other customers), nearly all of us are scared to death, and look what happened to my Ghost Blaster!

*Holds up the mangled weapon*

I don't suppose you'd let me perform a Psyche-Scan on you, GL, because what you're talking about is a lot like what I went through when the whole Krylma Possesion thing started. Except I think that you've got a split personality, or something.

*Turns up the thermostat, and sends a message to CLI to bring some anti-snowzar defense systems*

*smiles at Moniker & sips chocolate*

Thanks.

*Gets himself an S3 to calm his nerves*

I'm going home for a lie-down for half an hour.



Be back soon...

Well, boys... what can I say. That was quite an experience. That STUMPED organization is a crack outfit. Do you think I out to carry some sort of defensive weapon around here?

*out s/b ought*

*Puts head in hands*

Oh dear, it's worse than I thought. And I hope I misread what that recipe said.

*Eyes hot chocolate.*

*removes sign & serves GL hot chocolate*

*Sips hot chocolate.*

This is bad. I had better get back to the Lab and get some rest. Maybe I'll get Affy to run some tests on me.

*thinks*

Naw, on second though, I'd better not.

Bye.

Are you feeling better now, Joanna?

*Sulking cos his Recall is broken*

I only hope the containment on the MH tanks is alright

*Pulls out hyperspatial blaster ("Guaranteed to tunnel people over c or your money back") and blasts a few unsuspecting Wombles beyond oblivion*

Doughnut thieves.

*sympathy*

I feel a bit better...

*gets out diagnostic tool which came with hydrogen*

The field is down to 97% in some places but it seems to be stableising, Joe, I think its going to be okay...

It'll all be up to 100% soon. Although it got down to 80% at one point...

And the wombles? Can I pick them off?

*Raises blaster and sights*