h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Mmmm donuts...

*Trudges in carrying a medium-sized futuristic looking energy/photon blaster, salvaged from the crater*

Present Afgncaap5, reporting. Can I have an IWA, please? Hey, Eomando, did you ever find that alien?

*Nervously glances at where the pile of doughnuts used to be*

Hey, look! I'm using the autopost!!! This is Future Afgncaap5, requesting five tons of S16, A dozen chocolate supremes, three tons of mobius strip doughnuts, and one Surprise Doughnut. Please deliver them to the crater. (Do smileys work on the autopost? Guess I'll find out. . . )

*Present Afgncaap5*

Oh, look! The future me is at the crater! As soon as I get my doughnut here, I'll go find out what all of those craters are for!!!

*hands over lots of Donuts, although not quite tons, and looks bemused... perhaps if I ignore this it'll go away*

Afgncaap (Present), I tracked down the alien, and it's going to leave you alone, for now anyway, if it doesn't it'll have to deal with me again, and next time I won't be so kind...

Thanks Eomando! I have some kind of . . . well, I think it's a weapon. But I think it's broken. Now, I'll deliver these (not quite tons and tons of) donuts to the crater. Maybe there's some kind of party . . .

*Puts the incredible stack of donuts onto a small toboggan, and pushes down the mountain in the general direction of the crater*

*E eats an IWA while she watches Afgncaap5's amazing show of strength. She was _sure_ that she couldn't push _that_ amount of donuts around...*

*Crawls in from running up the mountain. Takes a few minutes to catch breath*

Okay, this is the future Afgncaap5. Well, actually, technically speaking, I'm the future Afgncaap5 now. Since the alien's all taken care of, and I've set up the party at the crater (a party to celebrate normalcy!), I sent the present/now past/future me back in time to roughly the moment I ran in here the first time. Now that that's thankfully over with, can I have a Chocolate Supreme? BTW, the party is at http://www.h2g2.com/A258167. Meanwhile, it's time to start woroking on my hand held time machine!

*Rift in time opens up, Afgncaap5 steps out, wearing a time traveling wrist watch*

New Future Afgncaap5-*Roughly grabs Present Afgncaap5 by collar* DON'T YOU DARE!!! *Jumps back through temporal rift*

Well, that was unexpected. Can I have my donut now? Please?

*hands over chocolate supreme*

I might just pop over to your party...

Well, it's actually a drag right about now, and the only thing to celebrate is that there is now only one me running around. Thank goodness it was isolated to this forum conversation. Thanks for the donut, though.

*Begins tinkering on wrist-watch time machine*

Hey, I need something to do to pass the time, don't I?

Yes.

Could I have an S7 please

*hands over S7*
*eats S5*

*Imagines eating a chocolate supreme...hopes Joanna is psychic, then decides she got a better chance if she just asks...*

A chocolate Supreme please, Joanna.

Thanks for the doughnut

*hands over Chocolate Supreme*
My pleasure

Thanks Joanna.

Can I have an S16, please? And a Surprise Donut? I need something more to munch on.

*Fiddles with odd-looking knob on time machine/wristwatch, and looks at plasma gun*

So, should I just take this thing back to the UFO, or what? Anyone else need it? Can you use it in the Bond movie? It's broken, so no one would get injured with it.

Perhaps you should let BB have a look at it...or Joanna...or DD...