h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What's the incubation period of this stuff in large primates?

I don't think that was sweetner I had in my .

well this should be interesting.... MB, a dedicated scientist to the end starts a new page in his lab book...

MB is there any of that left?

Naw I stuck it onto the HPLC

... MB falls behind bench groaning, reaches up to bench his hand now a large hair coverred claw repleat with 3" sharp nails ( of the finger variety)

... growl from behind bench... " MB need to know what in drink he took...Boss, you no drink this stuff... it bad drink"


MB appears from behind the bench, his suspiciously hairy left hand stuffed into his lab coat pocket. " hey boss, I think I've taken something that disagreed with me. were my feet this hairy before?

and did you always have that throbbing vein on your neck?

*Beats the chromeleon system over the head, gets the answer he wants, and mixes two powders into milk*
Drink this MB, it will do the trick, fortunately the tea nullified the very worst effects

...MB drinks milk...

"... oh I'm lactose intolerant!"

*chemist sticks head round the door*

Kat's been put in a sack by GB and then paid by Khamsin to be kept there...so Im out of here!

*chemist heads off towards common room*

Right, That's better, I've had a lactase shot.


I've dispatched a ninja weasel to let the Kat out the bag. I'm a big boy now if GB wants to argue about it...bring it on

*duck enters with a note*

Khamsin has paid GB to keep her in the bag, and as the fleet admiral's husband he has authority...although whether that is beyond the vie-mistresses is debatable.

*duck wanders away, picking up a few empty mugs on the way*

ninja weasel appears on MBs' shoulder looking despondent, "Sorry boss there's some kind of quasi-God like bloke getting in the way,he's using anti gnaw rope on the sack, she's on her own!"

*enters quietly*

coo-ee? anyone here? Guess not, needn't have brought these slides with me then! Oh well I'll leave them here...

*exits, leaving a small device discreetly inside the lock cradle*

*Conducts annual security sweep of tea room and finds unauthorised device in door lock. Removes door and disposes of it. Fits new katproof door

*come in to borrow the cream*

MB pops up from behind a bench.

"wha, who's Jeez, how long.... 5 in'weeks I've been locked in here! sorry about the smell, I need a shower... and a shave."

"Thought I heard someone moving about earlier but couldn't see anyone."

leaves and heads for a shower, calls back...

"I'll clean the lab up once I've cleaned myself!"

*looks at the cream jar and desideds against it*

MB returns clean and fragrant, carrying mops, buckets and dissinfectant.


Boss, someones been messing around with the lock my keycard got me in but I couldn't get back out!

MB cleans up 5 weeks detritus then leaves.

I want some fresh cream.... and maybe some sausages...

although thats probably out of bounds

Unfortunately we don't run to anything fresh in here (until I get a fresh batch of organised

What.... none at all....

I'll get the organised!

Yay
*dances around in circles while waiting for cake*