h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*walks in and picks up some *

Hi Geddon sorry I was so long

Kham, Don't stand on the mat I gave Mr C - it's impregnated with nitrogen tri-iodide. As you know, a shight knock and that stuff causes minor explosions, not enough to damage, but enough to scare!

Ah right.. I wondered why you were giving Mr a mat I thought it wouldn't be that simple

*devours the *

*Takes copious notes, wondering how much Mr C would pay for this info*

*takes TB by the throat*

Watch what you write

*farts prolifically*

*tightens the grip* do not do that

I am sorry Geddon I must do this

*throws TB out of Lab 18*

*as he's thrown out his notebook falls to the floor revealing what he just wrote...*

{notebook]Geddon has installed a listening and monitoring device in the door mat, but it is fragile and you should be able to destroy it by jumping onto the mat from the height of a table.

*under neath, but crossed through is*

It is also advisable to eat a very hot curry and some senna before hand as the extra weight will help

*underneath that is written*

Nah, not even Mr C's that gullible

oh right.. go ahead you can sell him that intelligence

scheming eh?

BUT we (Khamsin and I) take half of the proceeds. After all these things cost money!

eh, sure, eh. I'm nto here so I can't go tell anybody.

*comes in, grabs from tray, then puts electric gun on table*
Geddon, I hope you can find the serial No. on this, cus I can't.

*holds gun up to light and look at it with a No4 polarising lens sees the symbol LIC^477*

Thought as much, It's the one Larry lost on his last HAZMAT job in the main lab. Typical of it to end up in stores rather than be returned here.
*Makes a note of new keeper*
I'll dock it out of his wages, but what I'm going to do with 30lb of mushrooms, I've no idea. Soup, Ommlettes, steak garnish.come readily to mind.
*Moves side switch forward*
Remember to keep the safety switch on, move it back to arm the gun.

Thanks very much-you know, you really ought to put these into production, their one problem is that they destroy the targets in the training area but that's so easy to fix and its a very good gun. I will put in a nice safe place so no one can nick it off me!

Please tell however made that that its wonderful

*turns to leave, picking up another slice of on the way*
Oh, if you want help using up the mushrooms, what about salad? or I can take some for you

I will leave the CREWS gun with you for safekeeping while i'm on my hols. Considering the chaos that there's been in the Fleet Admiral's office, it might come in useful for law enforcement



au revoir

*Puts CREWS gun away for safe keeping*

Hello. I'm back from my long holiday. Do you want to give me the gun back, because I don't really mind.

Yes, provided that every time the gun is discharged, it's use is logged here.

*duck yawns widely*