h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I think I'll have another cup of punch as well.

*notices Ook eying the punch bowl*
Hey, Lil! Do you think Ook could handle the punch?

Wow, Odra-is that thing loaded? *ox drops to knees remembering bad encounter with deer hunters*. Didn't mean to flinch. Another cup o' punch will put the grit back.

*finally looks up from her project to notice that something has happened to her cup of punch*

Hey...waitaminute...

*while puzzling over this, drops a socket set on her foot*
Ow!

Dang! The cleaning bot must have drunk your punch. I just saw that it was empty and washed the cup. *gets Odra another cup in her own mug*

While Ook might be able to handle the punch, I wonder whether we could handle Ook?

Oh, I brought these upstairs from the storeroom, along with this little burner thingie to light them. *puts a whole bunch of very fancy coloured sparklers into Somat Witty's now-disused mug and puts mug on counter, then lights a sparkler*

*a big bloom of light appears at the end of the stick, shooting off brightly coloured sparks*

Ook: Oooooooooook

*sparks glitter brightly*
Odradek's hitherto-unmentioned pet awk: Awwwwwwwwk.


Thanks, Lil...*hobbles over to counter to recieve punch, happily toting her new weapon.*

Could l get an icepack for my foot, too?

Look at all the pretty colors! *ox is beginning to realize the punch may have induced a flashback*

I,I,E,Mmmmm ... oh yes, Ice! crushed ice for Odra's foot.
There are buckets in the broom closet. I wonder what the bot is doing with the bicycle pump?
There are buckets here too, actually. *IIEM produces shaved ice as Lil holds bucket to nozzle* Perhaps we'd rather not know about the cleaning bot.

So what does this weapon do?

Lights sparkler. Extinguishes beard.

*a tantalising burnt smell drifts through the cafe and right up my hooter*

Looney, your face has gone all asymmetrical. Will you have some punch with your green tea?

*hears slurping and turns to see Ook tipping his coconut cup back* Ook was that punch?

Ook: *belches* Ook... *Ook looks thoughtful, then climbs up into rafters and makes himself comfortable where he can watch entities and sparklers alike*

Hee.
*strokes barrel of gun affectionately*
This thing promises to be quite splendid. lt's based on...remember a little while ago, when l was going on about a particle accelerator in Rhode lsland which was producing levels of energy on a subatomic level that were, it was feared, intense enough to do a number of very nasty things to the planet Earth, like black-hole-ize it, or turn it into strange matter?

Well. This sort of does that...but not nearly on that scale...l can demonstrate when it's finished...

lt's not quite done yet, though. Could l have an uncertainty donut, please, Lil? l need it for a conductor.
Also, if the llEM can wing it, something gold. Disc-shaped, preferably. One of those little chocolate coins wrapped in gold paper foil would be ideal...

*emerges from a suddenly opening space-time rift*
WHHOOOOOOOAAAAAH!!!!!! that was some trip!!! i'd tell you all about it, but that might upset the balance of the space-time continuum.
AHH, been having fun with my saxophone, have you? i'll take that!
*picks up sas and sucks Twink back into it*
well, i need some sleep after that trip! i think i'll just plop down right here. see you in the morning.(or whenever, subjectively speaking)
BTW, sorry to hear you're leaving, Ioreth. have a great trip! or else. *laughs mischievously as he plops down on the floor for a bit of shut-eye. rift in space-time closes behind him with an audible*
SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOZE......

*shakes punch-fog from brain* Hi, Bahb-I think you just landed on Loony!

Quite a party we've got going here. This punch packs quite a kick, and I'm still recovering from all the Scotch I drank at FC's party.
*remembers*
Wait a second! I think I'm still passed out at FC's party! Oh, this is confusing. I'd better go get myself!
*dashes out the door*
*jingle-jingle*
*boom!*
*in the distance:* Darn fireworks!

*drags Bahb's sleeping body by the heels to a place where he won't be trampled, then puts the sax back on the table for safe-keeping*

Wait till he wakes up and discovers the sax is out of blue dust. The stuff certainly makes the punch tingle like sherbet, doesn't it! Mmm.
*polishes off a third cupful*

I think I need to take a nap so I'll be ready for the next leg of the party in 8 hours. Please guys, have all the fun you can, but stay with the Law of Continuity, OK? You can review the basics at http://www.h2g2.com/A351866 ...

G'night Lil.

*Tops up mug with punch - burps indelicately*

Throws another log on the bonfire... and a prawn on the barby. Steals one of loreth's oranges....

I was really hoping you could bring me back something, but, seeing as how it is "proper" for people to give a "bon voyage" present, I suppose I will get you something... well, half of something «hands over 14 million pounds, all cut in a seemingly odd manner, meaning that the bills are incomplete» ... you see, anything over 50% counts for legal tender, so, whenever you get *me* something, I will give you the other 53% of the money. Deal?

Oh, btw, make my gift kosher!

*yawning* Oh, I won't even get home, I can't face even a short walk through the woods. I'm gonna crash on the chaise on the porch.

Hee. Night, Lil...

l need to try me some of this punch...
*turns to her mug, finds that someone has drunk it -again-*
Grumble.
*Diogenes is looking quite satisfied, if tipsy*
Grumble.
*goes to broom closet, removes spare bucket, fills with punch, and inserts straw.*

There. Mine.
*adds cocktail umbrella and marascino cherry, and proceeds to consume.*

*guest of honor stumbles in half drunk and fashionably late*
Well I had a party thrown for me and didn't notice...
*Accepts all her gifts, particularly citrus from Loony* And remember I take checks.

Well, I'm gonna get drunk tonight. Tomorrow I'm going to Baltimore with a friend to see a baseball game, and tomorrow night is the big goodbye online.

On that note could I get an irish coffee? Come on, I'm leaving for a year.