h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

First case on the agenda for today is the case of Matt the Peer who has called into question the morality of the Hootoo Sisters.

This very serious allegation can carry a sentence of , or worse - you the voting public decide.

Do we judge the accused in his absence then?

Can't the sentance be a few hours in my dungeon?

Don't I get a brief? Or at least a pair of boxers?

Oh if he can't be bovvered to attend court in his own defense that's his tuff luck.

If anyone wants to speak on his behalf they're welcome.

Oops - spoke too soon.

You get a brief moment or two to state your case.

..and if I were you I'd be quick, some of the ladies are getting very restless with spanking sticks and the like.

My case? In my defence - Oh pants.

*bends over*

Just get it over with, I've washing to dry.

Seemed a bit eager there for the punishment Matt.

Perhaps it the spanking stick is no punishment at all and we'd be better going with the

Oh, I'm only ticklish if I want to be.

And anyway, I figure seeing as this is a Kangaroo Court I'm all but guilty of the charge. I may as well be charged with public humilation of a naked mole rat while under the influence of a french parasol and wearing a shirt with the statement *I'm a Croprastinator - hear me whimper* on it.

And still get life.

Ah, life (everybody now).

Don't talk to me about life.

Perhaps Serephina's feather would be better?

Well - at least we gave him a chance to defend himself....


... now, since he's not into but likes spanking perhaps we should put a or two down his breeks - what say you lil.

And I was busy exploring a conversation about dodgy Japanese, now I've lost which is which. I must think on this further (Fans of John Carpenter's "Dark Star" will appreciate that comment)

I'll happily surf into a white dwarf to get away from this debauchery.

P.S. Oh alright then, I 'll return to the bomb bay. I'll be back later when I recieve the operational command.

I say Aye!!

Quick then bring the

Sorry, Fizzy, the system threw us low user numbers out and didn't let us back in
I had to create this new account.
Oh, in case you don't recognise me, I'm B'Elana

I wondered where everyone went - and it's not fixed yet - that's what Derek Hunny gets for not feeding the darn hampster.

I'm off out now - how to see you later.