h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What a hero.

The blindfold? Ah, I err, I used it to impersonate a sumo wrestler. Now would you prefer that I use it for its intended purpose or leave it where it is?

*thinks* Geez, this place is strict, since when did blind folks need blindfolds?

No, leave it where it is. And that napkin could do with moving a fraction to the left IMCO.

I didn't think you were talking to me.

Confucius, he say "Never wash blindfold in laudrette full of Sumo wrestlers"

Wise words, you never know if they would eat it.

Praise the Lord 'tis a miracle. I wasn't blind, but now I can't see. *doesn't walk into a hole*

Just testing the effectiveness of Ændr's cure.

Yeah, that Confucius, always did have trouble with his 'n's. Good job he wasn't into Shintoism.

but I dIdn't cure you, I just removed the things you were stuck to

*gasps*

You mean, all this time I could see and I just didn't bother opening my eyelids? Hmm, I suppose this must be some deeprooted psychological trauma that prevents me from opening them in the Ladies? Either that or someones really quick with the superglue.

erm, perhaps it is the airline mask thingy you're always wearing

4 days! 4 bloody days it took me to get back here, I install Btinternet and what happens? Not only can I no longer access the internet (well anything other than the Bt site and thats a rarity) but I can't use my computer without it crashing, send e-mails or print anything at all and worse still it turned my screen bright pink...although that could've been the vodka...

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Btw wumbeevil you couldn't see before because it was dark in the sewer, now you're out it's just took you a while to adjust to the lighting in here, fluorescent strip lightings always dodgy to start with...especially to the untrained pigeon blend

No, no I think Ændr might have a point. It could be my Buddy Holly souvenir helmet. Let me just take it off. Aaargh, so this is what the ladies looks like, so clean, so tidy, so fluorescent lighted. I think I'll don the old sumo belt on my eyes, the Gents'll never seem the same again, what with the 20 watt bulb and the steak pie dish light reflectors etc.

I was just about to ask you if you hadn't been disconnected yet, when guess what happened - true, I swear it. I had the same problem when I joined up with btinternet, they let me on for one night and then I couldn't get back on for the next 4. How many 50p/minute calls did it take?

Errr, none, I have refused to fall for their cunning tricks(again) and so I am still re-connecting every 5 minutes... but at least it's free! Admittedly I'm now spending more time on during the day when it's not free than I was before when I was paying but I'm sure that's a minor matter

Just out of interest, if you're allowed to play in here, does that mean that if we ever get bored we can go and read the graffiti in the mens toilets? Is there any interesting gossip in there because having been trapped on the bt site since Sunday I've missed all the poisoning updates

I thought that was the boys room I got stuck in, underneath here, a few days ago. Tho now I think about it, the sewer did seem remarkably dry, tidy and fresh when compared with the usual male powder room. Didn't see any graffiti, but I was blind at the time, and braille graffiti is still a bit thin on the ... err walls.

I did feel a couple of bits of braille graffiti tho, "Swampy was here", "Melissa the Mole was here shortly afterwards with the CSA looking for Swampy", and "Buy the medical mystery thriller by Suer Townsend - The Secret Diarrhoea of Adrain Mole".

ROFL

And I didn't think I liked toilet humour!

*toilets laugh in the corner*

*sinks start singing*

Oooo, I hear laughter in the drain

*not to be outdone the toilets, who incidentally take great pride in a job well done, respond with their very own company song, as performed at The Porcelain Bowl*


Those who feel the breath of Guinness
Seats down ready for wee
Those who find they're touched by bare ass
Seats down ready for wee
Those who find their users miroculous
Seats down ready for wee
In lav, in here, we wait for pee-ers
In lav, in here, we wait for pee-ers
In lav, in here, we wait for pee-ers
In lav, in here, we wait

Oh sit down
Oh sit down
Oh sit down
Sit down, have a wee
Sit down, sit down, sit down, down
And simply pee.

I would like to propose Wumbeevil as the Official National Treasure of H2G2.

Hmmm, but I think half the researches could nominate someone to that exulted position.