h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If Microsoft isn't to blame for all the evils of the world, they sure are a good example of lack of intelligence. Ever gotten the message "Are you sure you want to restore Active Desktop?" after clicking the link that says "click here to restore Active Desktop!"? My aunt freaked and called me to come and fix her computer.

Perhaps someone should write an entry that translates all the "illegal operation" messages in windows. I would sure like to know what 1654321.874631.486735.updrd.45 means.

Yes, the school DO have insurance. Maybe they're trying to claim it for no extra cost other than the Music Room burning down... (that's where it was...)
Errrr...isn't everything Windows comes up with indecipherable? I reckon it's got a random character generator and uses it whenever it doesn't know what's gone wrong...

LOL! Some people are really very strange...

And the invention of the Furby...??

¦M¦

Unfortunately I only get sudden bursts of intelligence, usually at about 2am on a Sunday morning.Great ideas about which is the nearest curry house? and the best way to flag a cab down.

Yeah I work in a small restaurant. People are always phoning up saying: Moron:Hi I'd like to book a table please
Me:Certainly for which night?
Moron: Oh hang on. No actually I'll phone back again later.
One woman also had to leave the phone to count the number of people in her family- for whom she was booking the table (four)

Sounds like my kind of woman.

Bill Gates has a lot to answer for alright.He once said "computers make very fast,very accurate mistakes"..hmmm...

Fast??
Accurate??

Is he sane?
(and more to the point, has he ever used a computer?)

¦M¦

Question 1:nope
Question 2:nuh-uh
Question 3:is anyone who invents something that makes people sit around at a computer and wait sane?

i wonder what those people hoped to achieve by putting their housepets in the microwave anyway?....Kittieburgers, anyone?
i can imagine the recipe:

place dog in microwave, cook on high for about 4 minutes, or until dog is definitely dead....

If you could summarise what people think, and then post all the information onto a new page, not your homepage, so then I'd be able to put a front page link to it. But I can't do a front page link to a thread...

Good idea for discussion though...

Yeah! Good idea... who's going to be the one that bothers?

Err, I think they wanted to dry their animals after washing them. I wonder how many ducks have dies that way? After all, they'd be cooked (OK, maybe not) and would make a good meal...!!

¦M¦

1 word: ick
uncooked probably-but-not-sure-its-dead-duck a-la microwave.
now chicken-theres class

I don't know about the labels though...
A few years ago we had a Korean guest who, when she left, left behind a lot of things including a half bottle of Johnson's Baby Oil. I always wondered how she used it until a few weeks ago I came to the BRILLIANT idea to look at the label!

HMMM...says a lot about my intelligence, doesen't it?

nim

Here is the ultimate collection of instructions for use by idiots:

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.

On a bar of Dove soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's *just* a suggestion!)

On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head. (The big one or the little one?)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessertprinted on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down. (Too late! You lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure??? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?) (Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery. (Gotta keep those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children.

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only. As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts. (the third time that one's been mentioned)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (have a lobotomy)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

I am putting together an entry on this subject. Please feel free to help me with it by continuing this conversation at http://h2g2.com/A357725!

Yesss, buttt I'mmm only visssittting...

quick!someone take a picture!-(how do you work this damn thing again...)

No, if they think things like water needs to list its ingredients.

The answer is of course yes. they just all happen to use macintosh computers.

no illegal operations here!

Nightol (sleeping drugs) come with the warning "warning, may cause drowsyness. And yes there is life on Earth. Its me.
If I've made any spelling or grammer mistakes, tell me so i can shooot my elf out of embarrasment. Fish are intelligent, at least.