h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*ROFL*

Can't decide whether it's the instructions for the Korean kitchen knife or the Swedish chainsaw I like best

*rifles through contents of kitchen cupboards*

How about:

"Do not exceed use by date" (so that's what it means!)
"Added ingredients: none" (!)
"Warning: sharp cutting edge" (not a blunt one then?)
(on a bottle of lighter fluid) "Caution: inflammable"

Okay, maybe there's not much two-legged intelligent life on Earth, but I assure you that horses are not so stupid

maybe theres hope for the planet earth afterall-I want to vote for a horse as president...how much worse could the government get?...
goldfish are also deceptivly intelligent...they must be faking the whole 4-second memory thing

If a life in politics is your quest, then a short memory is an asset. Goldfish for president it is then.

My friend who works at a drive-thru fried chicken place recently had a woman ask her "How many pieces come in the eight-piece mix-meal?"

Perhaps he thought that the number of pieces was a complex number and wanted to know if there were ant imaginary pieces in the box? Common mistake, I'm sure?!

Yes, there is. The clinically insane.

Wasn't it Roman emperor Caligula who honored his horse with the title "Honorary Consule"? I think so. Everyone had to bow before it in the streets. By the way, Caligula also murdered most of his family, so perhaps the horse was the smarter one of them. I think cows are pretty intelligent as well. They're just smart enough not to show it. That way, they get to do exactly what they want all day.

Yes, he was... I was about to say that! But, seeing as you've already said it, I'll go on to say that 'Caligula' means 'Little Boot'. Amazing, huh?!

Cows are nosy. Really nosy. If you do ANYTHING near a cow there will be loads coming along to look at you. And then getting startled if you move...
If they are faking it they're all very good actors.


¦M¦

I think all cows are intelligent except the mad ones...

...

Moo

How does one come to know so much about cows? Intelligent mad or otherwise?

You haven't been talking with them from a space craft by any chance?

I thought Macs were for dummies? Thats why I spent extra on mine

Hi, i'm a bit late but to get through to Germany even the chats need a lot of time.
Do you know this little story: Some years ago (20?) the NASA wanted to test whether their Mars probe works. So they sent it to some lonely place at this little planet and the probe begann to examine the environment. Result was: There is no possibility to develop any kind of intelligent life on Earth!
Don't panic!
Funkenmarie

Regarding your comments on Literacy . . .
Did you know that one quarter of the world's poulation are illiterate while the other half can't add up!

shads

The fact that no intelligent life can evolve on earth is no news ...

Here is my favorite story on active non-intelligence:
My father and his colleage went to Korea to clinch a deal and buy some machines for the factory. While walking in Seoul the saw a shop with microwaves and decided to buy some and send them home together with the nachines. After 6 month the microwaves finally arrived in Iran. Great unveiling!... Hold it! All microwaves were with *Korean* script and *Korean* instruction manuals...
We are still trying to figure out how they work!

nim

I agree with Khetil...cows are pretty smart, but you'd never think so-that's why they're so damned smart! My brother has one and all it has to do is walk around and eat grass. What a life!

you thought macs were for dummies?what?-excuse this lifeform for not having a clue what you were talking about.
I got a story from my recently had holiday (i'll be writing an entry about it on my page when I find the time).
on the side of a van (on the small door where you put the fuel in) it said in big letters..."Petrol"
well duh....

Hi, Mac,

That "petrol" notice ain't so dumb.
A few years ago we were on holiday in a cruiser on the River Shannon. We moored one day near to another boat which, sadly, had no superstructure to speak of and the charred hull was resting comfortably on the river bed under a canopy of battered and scorched trees.
The story was: a few days earlier the boat had been filled from the wrong fuel pump with petrol instead of diesel. When the mistake was realised, it was decided to siphon off the petrol. Unfortunately ... it was done without sufficient care and some petrol was spilled. No great problem as the boat was out in the open?
Wrong .... it had a gas refrigerator which was still running.
Fortunately it didn't take the fuel station with it.

So, repeat after me:
"The internal combustion engine is now capable of being powered by (amongst other things) petrol, liquid petroleum gas and diesel oil".

Hope you enjoyed your holiday, and didn't refuel the boat yourself.

For evidence to suggest that the answer is "no", you need look no further than: http://www.h2g2.com/F38083?thread=56239

What about the certain percentage of people who enter into telephone polls to say they don't know?