h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The last time I had significant quantities of Jerusalem artichokes I had to deal with, ahem, a problem with wind.

I mashed them and plastered the cracks around the window.

Could your previous problem be described as fartichoke spread?

So your use of the mashed artichokes was goodbye to the wind-oh.

It solved the wind problem, for the neighbours at least, but I had to get the glazier in to fix the unsightly bowing.

Mine seems to have a poor motivator unit. I keep winding the spring and refueling, but it looses oumpf in just a couple of minutes! Ideally, I'd like it to keep going for three to four hours without adding more incentive power.

Any ideas?

I can only suggest a propellent projectile carrying it's own fuel oxidation device, installed in the Above Seat Steering mechanism.

Or in other words, a rocket up its A.S.S.

That sounds a little extreme, to be honest. But heat sounds like a good idea. Perhaps just heating the liquid fuel? And possibly adding boost energy enrichments and catalysing agents?
*ventures to labs, donning gloves, goggles and lab coat*

*builts a state of the art bunsen burner out of a couple of old flame throwers*

Old flame throwers are available at Agony Aunt Extreme.com

You need to use compression to increase the power ratio - hit it with a big hammer.

Think I'll add a mixture of methanol and nitro

I find a kilo or two of shredded jelly-babies livens things up.

jelly as in napalm?

no, jelly as in the sweets

Maybe we should add some licorice?

Allsorts (Bassett's) wouldi fill the bill.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liquorice_allsorts

That's settled then

Yes, you could say allsorted!

I was at a car-boot sale held at the local retired DJ therapy centre, and I picked up a box of bits, inside which I could see what looked like a 1923 under-hander with the copper thermistors. However when I got it home I found it was clearly dated 1945 and the degausing attachment, which was also in the box, had been adapted to squirt water.

I'm tempted to put the whole exercise down to experience, and after all it was only £10, 2 flags of the world cards (Brazil and Chile), and a handle for a silk gun. (Don't worry it was a plastic replica.) But---- its quite a neat piece of workmanship and you can tell by the variables that the copper windings have been hand-drawn.

What do you think ?

The degausing kit seems to be a lost cause, sadly. But I'm sure you can adapt the '45 piece to '23 standards. Just replace the copper coils with a wider gauge wire, and increase the number of winds to add up to the same resistance. I believe the '23 standard was BWG 23.

I'm sure it will be fine