h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh, sorry. I beg your pardon. Do you walk on the land with your fins and breath air? More importantly, would you like a martini?

I have lots of fins and use them all for swimming! However, thank you, I would like some refreshment after being in the sack for so long. So, if you could drop me in the martini tide pool over there I would be very grateful *GASP GASP* Do I see olives?

Wow! A talking, extinct fishy type thingee!

*Picks up Coelacanth and transports it to the martini tide pool and chucks a few olives in*

There you go! Enjoy....

Sorry I'm late guys, is that a Dogfish in the martini pool over there? It seems to be trying to kill itself by overdosing on olives.
I have bought some GummiBears. They're great, you drop them in a drink and they swell up and you get alcoholic Gummibears. Mind you it is a bit of a pisser when they start swearing and asking you for money.

Mmmmm alcy-bears. They should go well with the love cookies. *shares delicious blue cookies with everyone. tosses a few into the martini pool, where they float like little blue boats* Here you go, fishie.

Many thanks to you alicat! And to Gwennie for helping me in here.

*Notices Gwennie staring at his box of love cookies...*

Back off...these here are my cookies....an' there aint enough love to go round'.........find me a salmon and i'll consider a trade...

*Coelacanth tries to look as least like a salmon as possible*

That alright Coelacanth type thingee..... You look nothing like a salmon!

If certain Bear Things who have giant cockroach wings are mean enough not to want to share their "love cookies" (which I wouldn't be so rude enough to stare at in the first place - I'm a mature lady, you know), then they can jolly well keep them.

*Gwennie produces a dead sombrero and sits on it rather heavily and glares at BB*

*Whispering behind her hand to Linus*
i think those two are in love with each other and don't know it..

*Loudly*
Here Gwennie, have a brownie bagel. Sorry if its a bit soggy. What would you like to drink? V.T.?, martini? bloody mary? You name it and we'll find it. The ocean is wide, the ocean is deep. Olives for everyone!

*alicat wanders up. she has been following the sweet guitar music.* That sounds beautiful. I've just returned from the far shore of the Guiness Lake. The land there is covered in mushrooms and peyote. *drops hundreds of the colourful delicacies onto the ground. throws a handful into the surf for the ancient fish. * i got a wineskin full of golden nectar that was covering the mushrooms. *Passes around wineskin* It's sooooooo sweet.

*BS weaves gently up the beach having over indulged somewhat in the whiskey ocean*

Any chance of some blues from that guitar? And can I have a very dry Martini with lots of olives please

One very dry martini, with olive. Would you care for a musroom? Nonnie, how about the blues?

Thanks alicat, I'll pass on the mushrooms for now

*sips Martini*

Mmmmm, that's good.

More olives, Blue. That's my favourite colour.

sorry...I tend to get irritable when I don't get my salmon....how about trout? Here, have the cookies....my stomach does too much of the thinking during the winter...

*Coelacanth tries to look as least like an old trout as is possible*
Hmm, thats a bit more difficult! Thanks for the mushrooms alicat, you are very kind.

Not to worry, Coelacanth, I have it on good authority that you don't taste good...and there's no way I could mistake you for a trout...youv'e got all those extra fins and you are a different color.

Not to mention he (she?) speaks!

Thank you alicat, I'll try the golden nectar. *gulps a squirts from the wineskin.* Wow! That is good stuff! *passes it* Very robust, yet aloof. Has a je ne c'est quoi bouquet. Packs a punch too. All in all quite yummy.

*blinkblinkblinks* Coel!?! Coey!?! Co-Fishey?!? THE Coelacanth?!?

*peers at newcomer closely, wondering whether or not it would be proper to run up and huggle*