h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The bartender has returned- so I can no longer damage myself freely from the bar
Bertie - you really ought to carry a little bottle yourself

*saunters over to the costume closet*

Costumes? How wonderful! I'm going to put on a pirate costume!

*enters closet, says to self, 'ooo, good thing there are change rooms in here'*

*picks out a dashing pirate costume, enters change room*

Nice parrot custume nick

*hic*

Another bottle of BB for DD if you please.

Is there a penguin suit in there for Bertie ?

Sorry just an ice cream suit.

*Hobbles out of closet wearing a dashing pirate outfit with obviously false wooden leg. Kensington perches on Nick's shoulder and is wearing a very tiny parrot costume*

Ar, mateys. Ar. Ar. Oh, Kensington says, 'Squawk'.

Here you go Nick. Sixtenn men on a dad mans chest, yo ho ho have a bottle of rum, on me.

DD

Add in the two missing "E"s and take away the surplus "N" I'm having to pay this phone bill.

*in rather poor imitiation of the stereotypical pirate* Ar. Thanks be t'ye for the rum, DD, ya scurvy dog.

*chews off cork, drains half the bottle at one go*

Ar, that be good rum. What say ye, Kensington, ya scurvy weevil?

*Nick suddenly vomits. Kensington slowly shakes his little weevil head*

Ar. Pr'aps I should be drinkin' this rum with a bit o' moderation, henceforth.

Ar... ugh...

*With the sound of a Quo-esque twelve bar intro the self service sign dissolves and BS appears once more casually polishing a glass...*

I can recommend rum be taken in more moderate amounts...

*produces 'Entwhistle's guide to bar-tending' from behind his back and reads....*

Rum, particularly when taken in conjunction with poor imitation of a pirate is best taken by the jigger, or in extremis, the quarter bottle...

still, now you are recovered a little, can I get a drink for anyone?

Another Mersey of the old BB if you *hic* 'd be so kind barkeep.

DD

*Reaches down behind bar and pulls out what looks suspiciously like a petrol pump and hands to DD*

Just point and keep your hand on the trigger my man !

*Shazz emerges from her reverie and shifts herself over to the costume cupboards!* Ah...this brings back memories *Emerges wearing a fetching French maid outfit complete with seamed stockings and a small white apron* Anyone fancy a coffee before the next round of drinks?
shazzPRME

Umm...... I don't suppose you've got any beer hidden in that bar of yours?

Plenty by the looks of it Theakstons,Pedigree...Bishops Finger or Old Bastard...and that's just for starters
shazzPRME

Theakstons would do fine,thanks as i'm feeling a bit peculiar........... I certainly don,t remember putting on a Crocodile Dundee outfit, but i guess things could be worse....

They sure could be! Nice pun slipped in there btw...I doubt that our USA friends will spot it though!
shazzPRME

Thanks, they shouldn't feel too bad though as most from my land of Oz wouldn't realise either. By the way, without wanting to alarm you too much is it just me or are your feet stuck to the carpet as well?

Velma's safely scramming. [uses psychic powers to skip the ladder and just fly up] I hope we got away from it in time. [gives Velma a telekinetic push safely away] Everyone onboard?

Still a few missing Mew! I hope that they find us ok!....hmmm...yep!
What is going on...I seem to be glued to the carpet! Thank goodness I am within arms reach of the bar
shazzPRME