h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh, no, he's not loose. That's Kensington. He's my best weevil buddy. He normally rides on my shoulder but it appears this daunting altitude has sent him scurrying to cling to my hair. I think he's OK now that I'm on board this strange vessel.

*Nick kicks off his sandals* Oooo, this carpet _is_ nice, isn't it?

*Nick produces snacks and his last bottle of port from storage compartment in surfboard*

Roquefort, anyone?

Yes please.

*Hits ear looking anxious*

I think my babelfish crashed at the new year anyone got a spare one?

DD

Yes please, cheese would be lovely. So would a vodka and tonic. *scrambles up off the massaging carpeting and heads directly to the plushly set up bar in the far corner. Looks around. There are many doors set into the elegant paneling of the room. Squeezes lime into v.t. and begins opening doors* Hey! Look what I found! *Opens door to reveal a closet FULL of exotic costumes. Dutchman approaches grinning and nodding.* He says they are all for us, that we were expected. I wonder what he means by that? *Riffles through closet and selects a tourquois colored leotard resplendant with spangles and feathers.* Golly! *Dons costume*

*walks in through a door off to the right of the bar dressed in a leather stretch outfit coloured purple with diamond studs placed staticically on it*
there you all are i am glad you finally made it, now maybe someone would be so kind as to hand me one of those babelfish so i can understand just what it is this dutchman is trying to say.....
*wanders over to a lovely looking chair sits down and suddenly finds herself sinking deap into its cushions* oh my! you really must try the furniture, it is heavenly
*reaches over to a basket of fishies and begins to remove them one at a time and nibble*
monsy

Watch it there, Monsy. Those diamonds on your suit might rip those cushions. The bouncer will certainly not like that, I think. *Turns to bar* Em...what brands whisky have they got?

*DD emerges in a lime green luminous lycra one piece decorated in rubies, with a pink furry trim*

That's better I can understand what is going on.

*Turns to bar* I'll have a Whiskey, any Black Bush?

DD

*Appearing from behind the bar*
Laphroaig, Lagavulin, Dalwhinney....the choice is endless

I am going to have to be quicker with my replies or this temporal distortion is going to drive me nuts!

Black Bush it is...

*Hands over large |_|*

Well if we going to have a bar BS rather than a byob system yes.

*Downs Black Bush*

Set up another |_|.

DD

If I know my Duke, he'll probably want a Laphroaig. A double. And preferably 21 year old. *smile* Hey lord Dunstable.

I can see I'm going to have to be pretty nifty with the bottle if you are not going to go thirsty DD but if I'm not around please help yourself, that seems to be the best way around here.

*Hands over re-filled |_|*

I did try and draw a bottle but all the spaces got compressed, ho-hum!

Mr Wooster, by Jove! Well, of all the communities on all the servers on all internet...! And yes, Laphroaig is my drink. Bring it by the gallon! *Smiles*

Excellent choice, if I may say so...Laphroaig is not for the faint hearted but IMHO probably the best.

*Another well filled |_| passes over the bar*

And the same for you Bertie?

Good heavens, no! A bit too on the beefy side for me. If you've got it, I'll have a glass of the smooth Macallan, please.

*Seeing that Bertie is distracted places large Laphroaig on the bar with the bottle and disappears, leaving behind the faint resonance of a classic Blues outro...*

*Small sign appears on bar*

'Please help yourselves whilst the bartender is away'

*From the ether comes a faint muttering....*
Damn, another symlpost! These things are confusing...

*The deep smokey Laphroaig transforms mystically into the smoother Macallan *

Right. Dukey, you can manage that bottle can't you? I shall have to gain entry to the back of the counter, thus enabling me to search for the Macallan.

Leave us the bootle of bb for the pm.

DD

That should have been Bottle of course not some suburb on Merseyside. Or maybe I should ask for a Mersey full of BB for MM.

*hic*

DD

Well, mr Wooster, as you might see, the bartender returned quite unexpectedly to tend to your demand for Macallan. Be seated, young man. Have your drink.