h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*welcomes the clown with open arms*

Just the person I want to see. Circus management is getting out of hand. I'm thinking that we may need a union. The only ones with a decent pay scale and a benefit package are the trapeze artists.

Since you dropped by on Thursday, you can see my 8 foot ferret beard. I only have to wear it on Thursdays since Jodan Bonaparte lost a bet on a baseball game. On the other days I have a cute 2 foot rainbow beard and matching shoulder-length wig.

I also am the tatooed lady, but you can't see the tattoos on Thursday bedause of the 8 foot beard. AND I've been put incharge of selling and other snacks at the snacks wagon. Now I'm lion taming on the side.

I need a raise!

H

A union? Hmmmm... sounds like w*rk - couldn't we just go on strike anyway?

*adjusts trousers that repeatedly threaten to slip down, probably due to the weight of the mallet hidden in them*

Pah. You can't strike, because it will still be entertaining to see the bearded and clown lady

*begins walking back and forth in front of the tent carrying a sign that reads "I am not on strike!"*

H

That's less funny

*hands a sign to the clown that says "Trapeze artists sleep with sheep!"*

H

*holds up a sign that says "Webb City Bearded Lady Hypatia beaten Savagely with a sheep holding this sign"*



will shove you out a window

I'll smell him coming in time to get out of the way.

*Circus Management Unfair to Bearded Ladies, Lion Tamers and Clowns*

H (checking to see if the lions like lamb chops)

*sneaks up from behind and puts a clothespin on H's nose*

Ouch!



H

Make that a

Erm

H

* sneaks up behind Jodan and hits him over the head with the huge mallet that she has pulled out of her trousers*

Wow! I've never known Jodan to be so quiet.

He looks sort of sweet when he's unconscious.

*removes her ferret beard and rainbow wig and places them on Jodan with duct tape,applies some makeup, hauls ihim into the tent then grabs a microphone*

Ladies and Gentlemen, step this way. See the amazing Rainbow Man. Skin the color of a ripe kiwi and hair the color of the bow in the clouds after a refreshing spring rain. With his remarkable 8 foot long beard. Come one, come all. Only two dollars to peek. Or for an extra dollar, you can actually touch his unusual beard. Right this way. This is an opportunity you don't want to miss.

And when you leave the tent, please stop by our food cart and order a refreshing drink, cotton candy, or a light meal.

Ladies and Gentlemen, step this way. See the amazing Rainbow Man.

H

Pah. I'm sick. go easy.

Can't do that. This opportunity may never come again.

H

Sure it will

I'll just
Reply
really
slowly

What are you taking for your cold? Besides chicken noodle soup?

H

Nothing.

It never works anyway. I'm just going to weather this one. The worst part is over, anyway.

I don't even like chicken noodle soup. Too much noodle - not enough chicken

That's why you need home made. Then it would have a lot of chicken. And some nourishing onions and carrots and celery and fresh herbs. And just a few noodles.

H

Pah. But it's harder and I'm sick.
I usually just make it and never eat it, to be honest