h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Anthea...?

Are you aware that a very bizarre fight has broken out in your office?

*casts Drain Life on Darth Horrifus as well as the Snerts...making The Black Guard even stronger*
*Takes his bastard sword and starts cutting the Snerts in half one by one, his power continueing to increase*

take it elsewhere please...
actually.... you probably dont have to its just irritating...
do what you wish

Yay!

*Drinks a cup of tea without a saucer.*

You rebel, GB!

*hands GodBen no tea to go with his tea (remind you of anything?)*

*hands MOWS a doomsday device* use it well young grasshopper

Grasshopper? I'm a human... though thanks.

your welcome young grasshopper *cackles evilly and...*

As newcomer to the Guild, we are unsure as to whether or not this is quite the correct place to make a request for employment or similar.

However, in desperation we have come to realise that it will be necessary to have Debra Stevenson assasinated.

Some may think us harsh, however it is most distressing to have her vaguely endurable form of noise forced upon us.

In fact we are hard pressed not to have to refer to her as a 'helium junkie.' Surely she is a poor role model for todays youth.

Particularly with her worrying ability to discombobulate even the most stalwart of citizens.

We would complete the sorry task ourselves, however I fear we could not cope with close contact of such an asinine human.

assasinate Debra Stevenson..... sure why not

just sign here please

*slides a peace of parchment over with a quill ontop of it*

*'s in and sprinkles a mixture of Aluminium powder and iodine on the parchment, so that and liquid in contact with the parchment causes it to burst into flames with the evolution of purple fumes*

I defend the right of any celebrity from my part of the world to remain uninhumed, we have very few of them and need all that we can save!

We need some, but the vast majority can be gotten rid of.

alright then, as a compramise I motion to exicute all annoying modern pop bands and cheesy boy bands,
all those in favor?

Aye.

the only problem with that is it leaves a gaping hole in the crudmusic market...wait...how is that a problem...never mind...

motion passed!

My favourite experiment in chemistry was one where a guy in the class sotle €40 worth of magnesium and we burned it while the teacher wasn't around. Great fun.

May I add my weight to the motion? Certainly I endorse the inhumation of all boy bands. Might i suggest the re-instatement of the great prog rock bands ie Yes, ELP, Genesis(with Peter Gabriel doing the vocals) and other luminaries.