h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Very well.

But know your MPs would stand no chance.

ok i will deal with you

In which way?

Wow! Thanks! A whole separate table and everything!

How about giving "specialists" a capital?

(Simulpost!)

So, how about that capital?

ok will do....
honestly Assassins theses days never happy.

Atari, Hi, I see your new here and I just want to ask a few friendly questions so I can help you oreientate yourself in our fine establishment

You say your a 'holy' terminator? Just out of curiosity what do you mean by that? Do you subscribe to any specific faith? Also I was just wondering why a terminator would brand himself assasin of the empror do you mean (a) You assasinated the emepror, presuably your old superior or (b) You perform missions at the will of the emperor?

It's probably obvious, I just get confused easily

The descision to be left out of the traditional assasins guild rankings is an interesting one...how exactly do you see yourself relating to the rest of the guild and its houses? Are you looking to put some distance between you?

Well whatever the answers I really hope you have a great time. Get back to me soon so I can show you the ropes

What do naval ranks have to do with assassins? Not all sailors have substance abuse problems, you know.

Rank: Oberleutenant-zur-See

Vessel's Pennant No: U 119 (built Kiel, 1935)

Current equipment: 20 wire-guided torpedos (and unspec number of experimental homing type), 16 depth charges, Krupps deck gun, 2 portable, AA machine guns, autogiro. Deep fat fryer (necessary to avoid soggy chips: the commander likes his "crisp und light braun".) Ach, you squeezed that information out of me but I'm sure you won't tell the Admiralty.

Magic powers: can recharge batteries underwater, using schnorkel. I don't think I should have told you that either.

Gender: submarines are usually referred to, as if they were female

living in or out of HQ: operating off E coast of United States [Blast, that was also a secret. It seems the Allies' interrogation techniques are highly effective.]

Thing or thursday: I do not understand the question. It is not Thursday today, although Thursday is one of my favourite days of the week. The BBC broadcast many good programmes on Thursdays but, unfortunately, they all seem to be on at 9.00 p.m. Oh no, I did It again: I could be shot for listening to the BBC.]

I shall answer those questions ... as i am responsible for the rank system.

The leader of the guild asked for a rank system and beign intereseted in sea cadets and navy, im am considering joining, so i gave navy one.

thurdays thing qu is to do with anotehr group on H2G2 the thingites, whom wish to rename the days of the week, sodit wimpy wibble thing poets doobry dontbry

I am so glad to meet someone with a good, logical Teutonic mind, like my own.

I am interested in joining but only if my assignments are connected with economic warfare and the depletion of the merchant fleets of Britain and her allies.

that was the Royal Navy that i am thinking of joining

[Hears boatswain's pipe. Splutters and spills artificial coffee subtitute drink down the front of his rayon sweater, causing it to shrink instantly]

[Shouts order to crew] Clear the decks and prepare to dive!

[more softly to would-be Space Cadet] I think you mean that you want to be a Wren, doing some filing for a Commodore or something, as girls don't go to sea. Ha ha ha [patronising laughter, worrying like that of Chief Inspector Dreyfus]- what a ridiculous notion, meine freundin! Girls in the Navy, with all those sailors, starved of nookie for months on end- oh, the very idea of it is ridiculous! [speaking tube sounds] Excuse me. [puts tube to ear]

What's that? Oh, all right then.

I have to come down from the conning tower now.

See you later, off Heligoland. I've heard rumours that you're going to invade. No doubt you will be at the wheel of the British flagship, HMS Penelope Pitstop.

i am MALE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I do apologise, my dear fellow, but it is terribly difficult for me to tell. Why don't you call yourself George or Bob or something like that?

then that wouldn't be interesting

you are in a sub you say ....

hay come on fill in the form propaerly....
do you know how long its gonna take me to sort all that out?...

oh i forgot to mention Max that you will be in the House of gods
the link is on the main page

Hi AO!

"You say your a 'holy' terminator"

This means that I am blessed by the Emperor of Mankind.

"You perform missions at the will of the emperor"

Correct.

"The descision to be left out of the traditional assasins guild rankings is an interesting one...how exactly do you see yourself relating to the rest of the guild and its houses? Are you looking to put some distance between you?"

It simply means as a Terminator (just to clarify, NOT the Arnie type, actually the exo-skeloten armour, the Power Fist, the Assault Cannon etc) I opperate outside the usual command structure of the Guild to better fufill the purpose of the Emperor.