h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

that is the only situation it looks cool in though.
And I'd never dream of buying one being vegetarian


http://adamunlimited.com/StingrayMotorcycleJacket.asp

I wouldn't wear it either I don't have a leather anymore and I certainly wouldn't wear fur either, try a firm called lush lush
they use only natural produces and the stuff is really good I use their shampoo and hair colour and face scrub

I just want to eat it all!!!
They sound really nice

Their Karma fragrance is divine (and Excelsior likes it )

if you go online and request the Lush times it's their catalogue it gives discriptions of the ingrediants and no furry friends are harmed they even have products for vegans

Cool. Those sound really nice.

I'll sing their praises forever,when we're in Southampton Alex insists it's the shop we going

Alex?

My daughter, she's 8

*slaps head*

yeah. Sorry. Brain like a... what are those things? Have holes in...

I'll keep an eye out for it.

I thought stingrays were protected

*deep in the already fearsomely dark torture room something is stirring. the ground begins to move underfoot like the rippling of the sea. a slow movement that seems to be edging towards the door.

thunder clouds seem to be merging outside blocking any light from the evening sun.

the ground erupts and the skeletal army of PHENOM stands proud. they flood out into the yard. more and more keep emerging from the darkness of the torture room. with their roman armour and moulding flesh still hanging from their bones they head to the hospital unit. drawn by the stench of the wounded and the sweet smell of the dying.*

Ah there you are boys, I knew you couldn't resist my little invitation, come follow me and we'll get a little practise in with the new equipment, don't forget to inform your boss I shall be waiting for him

*PHENOM walks in looking all dejected*

i don't know. everyone looks really bored and there aint much action, so i decide to raise a small army of skeletons and put them on the battlefield for everyone to play with. so what happens. they tell me off. that's what happens. not only do they tell me off but they then break the rules of continuity and kill my army without consulting me over any damage caused.

*sits down on the nearest spiky rack*

i could get really down about this if i had emotion. or angry. they wouldn't like me angry.

*places his hands in the straps which tighten around his bony wrists with no help whatsoever.*

it would be interesting to feel anger. i reckon i could do some damage if i got angry. but the only time i can get angry is when i am in creachy, but then i get limited by his mortal form. very hard to transformate and interdimensional drift as a mortal form you know.

*the straps by his ankles lock themselves into place*

you know what i need? a fully intergrated independant army. they're all the rage you know. i've seen them advertised on Hun TV. that gives me an idea. i should recruit my own army of mortals to fight the mortals. of course i could gift each warrior the power of shadow. which is random in its features but powerful none the less.

do you mind giving me a twist while i try to figure this out...

*points at the large wheel that will tighten the ropes*

*Tightens the ropes*

Oh that is such a shame, it's not a bundle of laughs here at the moment I'm thinking of taking my old job back, ok it got a little boring same people same punishments but at least I got to play, all I do is clean my equipment, oil the leather

*sigh*

You're the only person that enjoys my services.

Maybe you should have a sneak around the barrack rooms and have a little word with the folks around here, they must be as bored as me, I'll be your chief torturer if you like

I'll give me something to do

*tightens the wrist manacles*

Hows that?

*slinks in, munching popcorn, carrying a sheep*

Howdy!

howdy, what's that? a souvenir


or













your new lover

*waggles eyebrows*

Oooh... you'll never know.

well, we'll all meet him at AT won't we

how was your holiday?

*tightens the rack a little further and PHENOM looks pleased*

it wasn't a frigging holiday.

*beats him over the head with her sheep*

I was working solidly!
The only non-work I did was 2 half hour riding lessons.

My instructor said I did really well on the second one. I can make the bloody thing come down out of trot now.....