h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Good idea.

Mine's like Lord of the Rings: It grew in telling.

It's now 8,486 words long.

I shortened mine recently but now it's a load of bitty paragraphs, a few pictures and lots of colour. It looks alright as long as you don't try and read it...

I reckon it's all right .

Attention:
A crisis has arisen in my bedroom-state, due to the population sharply increasing to ten thousand overnight.
All well and good, only the Haberdashery Minister has been unable to keep up, resulting in there being, at last counts, roughly 1 sock to every 2857.42857142857142857142857142857 people (or 3.5 socks for every ten thousand). Currently there is a rota system being drawn up, whereby each person gets to wear one sock for 0.503949605039496050394960503949706 minutes per day; however, this is simply not satisfactory.
Plans have been made to attack the nearby Grandparent's Goods factory and steal a few thousand wooly condoms; however, the troops are complaining that their guns will not function because they do not actually exist.
A daring idea, put forward by Dave, the eye on the egg, whereby we hollow out a few whales and share these improvised socks with a few hundred other citizens. However, this has been voted down by the Congress of Cancerous Cereal Bowls, on the basis that the spider would get eight times as many socks as everyone else.
As a result, it is my sad duty to inform you that my bedroom-state is going to war against the wishes of the Congress. The plan is to balance a few bacteria on the spider, who will parachute through a skylight in the Grandparent's Goods factory, steal some wooly condoms, and take them outside, where they will by carried by convoys (assembled from little bobs and stationary doodads found in the desk drawer) to Brighton; a tuba shall be purchased to inflate a rubber dinghy, whereupon they will travel to the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, strangle a few whales with the condoms, and then teleport back here.
The results will be announced in a few days. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Good luck in your righteous quest!

May your journey be fruitful oh brave one!

Why don't we have a smiley?

Why don't we ever have any smiley we really need?

What we need is to seperate the smiley into a and a <?>

That's be good, if they just changed the mouth... the expression seems a bit too confused for a .

It just needs a little straightening...

Or on the other head, it could be a in Basic Training... it's got that combination of confusion and slight annoyance that inevitably goes with all those pointless salutes.

I've only just notied

I never knew that the smiley was a face with an arm and hand scratching his head, i always thought he had a triangle left ear....

I meant "on the other HAND", of course, not "on the other head"... but it's getting late and I'm trying to write an assignment about hell.

Though I remember one researcher thinking that the smiley was someone with a mistouche

*Looks up from research on the future of wind turbines* Tell me about it

Footbacon
Yeah, that's what I used to think. Ah, the miracle of hindsight. Who would have thought that it would be necessary to evolve eyes upon one's rear.
Isn't there some kind of thread where you can request changes to smileys and things of that ilk?

You can ask but the general answer is 'not a chance'

This is terrible, I cannot concentrate at all. I pretend to be working but I write one sentence and then go back here...
The problem is I have three assignments for this so called "break", and this is the only one I strated so far, and the "break" ends in about a week!

I have group work to do, a group of nine is quite hard to manage.

The lecturers are going on strike which doesn't help.