h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Outside, this majestic structure is a testament to the great faith of the countless generations that have entered herein to worship their almighty God. Inside the slightest sound echoes so much that one wonders how worshippers were able to hear any message that might have been proclaimed from the impressive pulpit.

Now and then a suprising variety of people duck in to sit in a back pew for a moment, enjoying the coolness in summer and warmth in winter of this holy place, and for the devout, perhaps a quick prayer.

More importantly to the professional hero, is that this is where Knights and potential canidates for Knighthood pray for the blessings of Divine Providence in their quest and Divine Help in upholding their Knightly honor.


Doing anything here that disrupts the reverent atmosphere will incite the violent anger of all goodly Knights of Quavia, nad probably everybody else too! It's not against the rules, but I have one piece of free advice: DON'T DO IT!

Nerd42

A Priest prays here.
Nerd42

}thud{ }thud!{ }THUD!{ (sound of a fist pounding against an old heavy wooden double-set of doors w/iron bracings)
"Hello!" "I'm new here." To self: yes that sounds good. : Wait. No it doesn't.
"Anyway, I meant ta 'pologize 'bout the nasty turn of the weather. Howling wind and the purple rain from the green clouds...well, you could say that I'm the one who's to blame. "

Attempts to adjust hair out of face (somewhat unsuccessfully), and shifts monocle.

"Is anybody there?"
Hmm...
"Can s'mbody please lemme in?"
"... is that the smell of pizza?"
s a bit @ himself. Snaps the fingers of one hand, and through summoning & conjury manages to get a cup out of thin air and brew some .
"There. Tha's much better.-Well somewhat better anyway."
The wind dies down.

[Sharp]: "Oh, hang all! Wait a sec. this is a church, isn't it? Oops, terribly ." Uses to repair door. "Um, yes I do that from time to time..." (Some stare apalled). "Look I 'pologized and fixed it, so how 'bout we all call this thing all's said and done and good and , please don't burn me @ the stake. Family had a couple'a generations ixed that way... (nervously)Eh,heh." (Sits down and shuts up).

The Priest whom I wasn't expecting to develop as a character just yet but anyway says, "Oh, heavens no! It's the duty of Knights to protect the Church, not mine. How has God blessed you lately, son?"
Nerd42

So, so. the tax-collectors are after me ,Father, have been fer months. I have a bit of a confession: It's all my fault for pursuing alchemy. Have no home to go back to since the collectors seized it. Honor to restore though back in my homeland, which has in the mean time been made a might awful mess by a mad sorceror. Figured consulting the holy-order at arms, (sheepishly *shrugging*) fer a bit of advice...

[Sharp]: "I need ta get skills, or hone them or whatever it is that folks do with them these days..."
*indicates toward knights* "Do they practice swordsmanship here?"

[Priest] Ah, those? They're just tapestries. The Knights seem to have left these lands, taking most of their power with them. But they are duty bound to Quavia in fealty, so it's only a matter of time before the order of Knighthood is restored here. We have waited long for that great day.
Nerd42

[Sharp] (only a tad bit irritated, all things considered): "Is there at least somewhere where i mightn't be able to do battle w/ some of their spirits then (of the great fallen warriors, persay)? A churchyard, perhaps. You know somewhere haunted like, w/s maybe?"
What do people here do these days then?"

[Priest] uh, what?
The Priest is not likely to know anything about that - there's a battle going on in the Marketplace at the moment though!
Nerd42

A halfling woman enters the sanctuary with a bleeding little halfling child in her arms.

[Mother] Oh, Father Smith! Please find someone to heal my daughter!

[Priest] Oh, dear! Usually, I'd say you'd come to the right place, but I'm the only healer here. I will try, but it may take awhiles, a few hours perhaps ... Hmm ... *prays as he prepares some kind of healing liquid solution*
Nerd42

The Priest's last name is Smith
The priest takes the halfling girl in his arms and briefly soaks her severely wounded (and still bleeding) leg in a huge bowl of still, clear liquid. It immediately turns absolutely black. This suprises and frightens the priest and he immediately pulls her away from the bowl and tries to wash the black liquid off.

[Priest] Oh, no! She's poisoned! And it's not just any poison. This is the cursed poison of the Dark Knights - such horrors have not been seen in this land in ages. Could the Dark Knights have returned!? Woe is us to be struck down by such an awful unchangable fate!!!

[Child's Mother] Oh! My poor baby!!!

[Priest] She will die in less than a day if we do not do something. But I do have a solution. Stopping the bleeding is not enough. We must stop the poison - and right now the only way to stop the poison is to freeze her in this instant somehow ... to keep her just as she is now unchanging until she can be healed.

[Child's Mother]

[Priest] All right then, we must turn her to stone. She will be a statue in this cathedral until she can be healed. Mind, if any part of her breaks we may not be able to bring her back. But it's her only chance.

[Child's Mother] Please do anything you can to save her, Father Smith! I trust you!!

[Priest] Very well. I will place her on this pedistal, and carve into it the words, "This child was struck down by the Dark Sword. She awaits a kind-hearted Paladin to bring her back to life." Then I will turn her to stone.

[Child's Mother] I will pray for her every day!

[Priest] God bless you, little one.
Nerd42

*As the girl is turned to stone, she opens her mouth to comfort her mother, "Don't worry, M -" and is petrified*

[Priest] It is done.
Nerd42

[Sharp]: (to the now petrified girl's mother) Don't worry madam, I will see to it myself, take it upon me as a personal quest to go about finding a way to restore her."
(to priest): Father Smith, I'll do it. I'll take up the rallying standard of the order of your temple/ be a part of the order. Just give me a second to emblazon my long-coat:
*mystically affixes symbol of the order of the knights of Q. onto the back of his coat,*
"there, it is done, now if the two of you don't mind, first there isd the matter of bringing a certain snafu to justice; I have caught a terrible arms merchant, and if I do not act quickly, an innocent person may be executed for his offenses."
*exits cathedral, humming a melancholy yet resolute archaic tune, with a certain great mysterious quality to it.*

[sharp]: A short note written simply on a small scroll appears w/ the same bit of sparkler accompaniment as the one from in the castle.
it reads: have gone to Castle to attempt to prevent hasty execution of the wrong person at the trial. Intend on Returning to attempt to solve the problem of the poisoned, cursed-blade wound soon after the trial is resolved.
Best regards,
-Sharp,
black arts mage & now also a member of the Knights of Q. stop. End of note. : spell, kept transcribing after I asked it to stop...
*end of writing, for there is no more space on the parchment.*

[Father Smith] The fool! A Knight has to be Knighted! He may as well have named himself King! If one's going to be King, one has to expect to be crowned first!
Father Smith is being rather rude but is acting in character. The Quavian Knights organization is invitation only. Current members: 0 + a few NPCs that we'll have to hunt down in an Organized Quest before any of our characters attain Knighthood.
Nerd42

Another parchment scrip materializes over the first, as though of an afterthought, which (as a matter o fact) is rather exactly what it is. It reads: needed a moment to myself for a bit to think better (so many people @ the high court, lots of things going on & it's a fancy do ta boot also as well! I'm only borrowing the symbol of your order for the very good purpose of saving an innocent person's life and am using it as a proper disguise. If I had simply said I was a black mage w/out any qualifications in addition to it, then noone would trust me. It's not easy y'know by the by. Ex: Try to conjure a flock of doves out of my sleeve like any normal magician, & I wind up with s instead. Lival to scare people that is, is what's what.
-Sharp
P.S. : And I do fully intend of making good on my promise of trying to help find a way to cure the halfling girl, so (though maybe borrowing the symbol w/out asking is mopre than I initially bargained for with what I had had in mind)
: Feel a might awful 'bout taking it when nobody was paying attention and not saying anything. I wanted to ask, but there wasn't much time left.

Terribly sorry, Sharp, but given the current political situation in Quavia, one could not don a more transparent disguise. The basic idea (of disguising yourself as something the people might trust) was very good though, a pity it wouldn't work. Unfortuanetly for Sharp, the King is likely to know the name and probably the face of every last Quavian Knight alive, though he has only the vaugest inklings of their whereabouts.
Nerd42

: I know, but you've got to admit it did make 1 h*ll of an entrance though!
Does that not fit a personality of the lightning affinity rather well?

Yes indeed it does. My character Gandark has gotten in trouble in other RPGs just for pulling exactly those sorts of stunts!