AGG/GAG - 13
Created | Updated Feb 28, 2002
Open your mind and say,
"AWW"
Coming Next Week:
The all new and improved "Alternative Writing Guidelines" 
THIS WEEK:
A trio of First/Personals, Entries written in the First Person, revealing a personal quirk or expressing an opinion. All, by definition, considered 'unsuitable' for the official Edited Guide.
One's about sheep... and so are the other two really 
except for the all the 
in one.
But first, an Agg/Gag exclusive, a handy guide to office politics, from 'Trebor's Rules of Order'.
"Holding A Meeting Without Anyone Being the Wiser" by tonsil revenge
Introduced by the autho(u)r
On a night so dank and dreary,
I had to answer a tiresome query:
To wit,
there came a knocking in my brain
quivering nastily, with the refrain:
Just the facts and then the door.
I opened a nearby flagon of lager,
shaking with rage at my visiting neighbor,
nit wit,
how dare you introduce to my day a refrain
that I cannot refrain from re-fraining all day
Just the facts and then the door.
I can even hear the chorus of hired girls:
"Just the facts and then the door."
Then the guitar of Dave Gilmour:
Dweedle dum dee doh de doh!
Why I Hate Sheep by Nira no Kamo
Scouted and reviewed by tonsil revenge
Many a young maid in frock and bonnet has wandered crost hill and dale toting a crook and fondly caring for the woollen creatures that gently munch their way across the land... in poetry and painting, maybe, but this wee lass is wading through the muck and the dip in wellies with a pair of wirecutters in her hand and an oath in her mouth.
You've heard of reality programming? Well, this is reality reporting, with every bias proudly on display and every memory etched sharply in the way of a true survivor. You like em? You take care o''em!
Pop Goes Dignity by Scorpion de Rooftrouser
Scouted by Subcom Deidzoeb and Reviewed by Spaceman Spiff
Scorpion de Rooftrouser turns in a wicked review of UK TV programme 'Pop Idol':
'Starting with ludicrously oversubscribed cattle-calls in the major UK cities, the applicants were winnowed down to fifty finalists, then ten, and then the general public got a chance to do what it enjoys most. Mess up the lives of random strangers.... If you'd never seen somebody at the exact point that all their dreams turned to dust, then it was all rather edifying.'
Subtext Ahoy by Subcom.Deidzoeb
Scouted by Spaceman Spiff and Reviewed by ~jwf~
A fair and insightful examination of the state-of-the-art Children's TV show 'Yoho Ahoy'. More than just Teletubbies with eye patches and swords , these characters are individuals with serious role model ambitions, as this Psuedo-Freudian analysis will show. One day, these little buccaneers may grown up to live in South Park or Springfield. If they can just leave their pirating ways behind them.
COMING NEXT WEEK:
The all new Alternative Writing Guidelines Learn how to not write for the Edited Guide.
The Galactic Anomolies Group (GAG) has commissioned the Committee for Alien Content (CAC) to show us all how to write something good and still have your allotted fifteen minutes of fame and glory in Another Galaxy Guide (AGG).
We welcome and depend upon your input.
Please, join one of our conversations or start your own at our homepage:
AGG/GAG/CAC
Another Guide to the Galaxy / Galactic
Anomaly Group / Committee for Alien Content
Charter Members:
- ~jwf~ power-tripping type-setter
- tonsil revenge 2nd Assistant Dogsbody
- =X Subcom Deidzoeb Nominations Wrangler and GuideML Helper
- Spaceman Spiff A Merry Prankster is he!
- Martin Crusty Archivist
