Signs The Ice Cream Van Driver Is Crazy

• Number of kills clearly marked on the side of his truck.
• He's paranoid because he's "always being followed by someone disguised as little children."
• His route takes him down your street at precisely 3:30 am every morning.
• Comes to work wearing only a strategically placed waffle cone.
• Happy calliope music replaced with Mozart's "Requiem."
• On Tuesdays, drives backwards and demands ice cream from little kids.
• Ice cream sandwiches come with alfalfa sprouts, Dijon mustard and a pickle.
• "Ice cream! Get your... HEY, YOU! GET AWAY FROM MY VAN!!! .....Ice cream, get your ice cream!..."

A man approaches an ice cream van and asks, "I'd like two scoops of
chocolate ice cream, please."

The girl behind the counter replied, "I'm very sorry, sir, but our delivery didn't come this morning. We're out of chocolate."

"In that case," the man continued, "I'll have two scoops of chocolate ice cream."

"You don't understand, sir," the girl says. "We have no chocolate."

"Then just give me some chocolate," he insists.

Getting angrier by the second, the girl asked, "Sir, will you spell
'van,' as in 'vanilla?'"

The man spells, "V A N."

"Now spell 'straw,' as in 'strawberry.'"

"OK. S-T-R-A-W."

"Now," the girl asked, "spell 'stink,' as in chocolate."

The man hesitates, then confused, replied, "There is no stink in chocolate."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you!" she screams.