h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

We had our sex education at school today preparing us for the up coming heath conference, it was a laugh, well slightly, especially as some girls in our class were hinting they've already done it

Hey loreth are you living in Israel or something?

fair enough - the technical advice would be "have fun with your clothes on" then?

sort of

Ok, I was misinformed over the cervical cancer thing, but it does have some basis in truth, as you showed. The earlier you sleep with someone, the more partners you are likely to have, unless you're
a) really lucky and meet your life partner early on
b) have a horrible experience.
Then again, I could be making a fool of myself... again... and again...

Someone somewhere in this thread mentioned the religious view-
Well here's what I guess is the Christian view as in the Bible...(although I reserve the right to be completely wrong)
Most all of the Bible's teaching is based on/stems from Genesis 2 vs 24- "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. " (NIV version)

*You shouldn't have sex before marriage 'cause you can't completely divorce emotional issues from it.
-(According to the book I read) it hurts more if a relationship splits if there has been the act of sex involved; the Christian view of marriage is eternal, something that God has created between the two people involved. "what God has joined let no man put assunder" or something, thats the idea, anyhow...

*Once you are married, you are encouraged to have sex- its fun, good for your relationship, the way of having children etc. etc.

You know, the lovely thing about Sex Ed classes about how to use condoms is that they don't teach anything of any value with the possible exception of how to tell which way to unroll it. Even in the truly _avante garde_ schools that use actual penis-shaped dildos for practice fail to address the practical issues. So, children, get yourself a condom for practice, and start with this exercise: Learn to tear the packet open without looking at it. This should not be terribly difficult. Then practice taking the rolled condom out of the package and figuring out which way to unroll it without looking at it. Don't unroll it yet. You have to figure out which way it unrolls, and you'll probably have to do so in the dark or while it is not easy to see your hands. Both ladies and gents should practice this until they can take the rolled condom out of it's envelope and orient it properly 100% of the time without looking at it.

Having learned to orient it properly, ladies should realize that they will tend to roll it away from them, while gents will tend to roll it towards them. There are some exceptions, though, so both should practice both ways. Next, learn to tuck the reservoir. When you have the condom oriented properly, orient it so that if you were unrolling it, it would unroll down. Press on the reservoir end from the top so that the reservoir is inverted on the bottom. This will tuck the reservoir inside the condom during final installation, so there will not be a loose, floppy rubber appendage at the end of the completed installation. The reservoir will fill from the inside and reverse itself during ejaculation, so don't worry about that.

Next, be sure to not stretch it too tightly when unrolling it over the penis. If you stretch it too tightly, that increases the likelihood that it will break, which is a *bad thing*. If you require a practice penis, then try using something along the size of a Bratwurst hotdog, or a 'Smokie'. These thick hotdogs are representative of the higher end of most of the penises you will ever encounter. A regular sized frankfurter is typically too thin. Bananas are on the high size of what you will encounter in practice (unless everybody else in the world has smaller bananas than we do here), so they are not a useful representation. When the condom is properly applied, there may be a few very small wrinkles in it. That's OK. As long as there are no large wrinkles. The basic rule is to not pull (or push) on the condom to stretch it while it's unrolling. Let it unroll naturally. While viewing sex-ed classes where condom installation is being taught, the most common error I see is the teacher stretching the condom too tight.

Don't unroll it too far. If you unroll it too far, it will get caught in the pubic hair, and that is 'way down at the bottom of the 'fun list'. Unroll it to the base. It is normal for there to still be a bit of a roll of rubber left. That makes it simpler to roll it off. For guys, it's a good plan to trim your pubic hair to keep it short. A half-inch (one centimeter) long is plenty, and it will prevent unpleasant accidents with condoms. It also makes fellatio more comforable for your partner. When trimming your pubic hair, be careful with the scissors!! You don't want to cut any skin.

During sex, it is possible and quite normal for the male to 'leak' a little during sex. This leakage is trapped inside the condom, but it serves to lubricate the condom from the inside, and makes it easier for it to slip off. If you think that internal leakage is making the condom's purchase on the penis too slippery to be useful, by all means withdraw, remove the condom, wipe your penis off, and replace the condom with a fresh one. Never try to make one condom last through two orgasms. It may work, but the risks are simply too high. Nothing will turn a woman off faster than having to go to her gynecologist to have a condom removed from her vagina. Condoms come in packs of a dozen. Never make the mistake of carrying only one. Try four. Or even six. Anybody who only carries one is carrying it for show.

The next issue is rhythm. The greatest complaint about the condom is that putting it on, or changing it, breaks the rhythm of sex. The solution is fairly simple. Oral sex. While you are performing oral sex on your partner, your hands and arms are left largely free. This is a perfect time to employ them to put a condom on. With little or no practice, you should be able to perform oral sex on your partner while simultaneously finding, unwrapping, and installing a condom. Just make sure that the condom is close enough to hand that you can reach it without breaking off. A bedside nightstand is perfect for this, as long as you are certain to perform oral sex while your partner is sideways on the bed, so that you are within arm's reach of the nightstand. Of course, you must have an erection first, but if you are already performing oral sex on your partner, having an erection should not be a serious problem. A slight shift in tempo switching from oral sex to coitus is normal and expected.

After ejaculating, be sure to hold the condom on during withdrawal. You don't have to go nuts here. If you can put one finger on the small roll of rubber at the base, that should be sufficient to withdraw it intact unless your penis has become greatly flaccid already - then it may require two finger to pinch it onto your penis. Don't trust to luck on this...you don't want your partner paying that visit to her gynecologist, or spending a half-hour bent over herself trying to fish it out while sitting on the toilet. These things are not sexy, graceful, or even nice.

Finally, it is possible to put on a condom with long fingernails, with one hand, and even with the mouth. These are all advanced techniques that you should not attempt without practice. Condom latex is very thin, and it doesn't take much to score it enough to leak. Long nails and teeth can score the latex, and putting a condom on with one hand will usually bring even short fingernails into contact with the latex unless you are skilled at it.

It's always a first time for everybody, sometime. Even in middle-age, when you first have sex with a new woman, you'll be going into it completely blind. You don't know what she likes, or if anything that you know will be something that she enjoys. The first time is always full of pressure and excitement, no matter if it's the 1st first time, or the 15th first time. The guy will orgasm too fast, and the woman will probably not orgasm at all unless the guy makes sure to devote a *lot* of time to foreplay. Even if your last girlfriend convinced you that you were an expert at oral sex because you could find her hotspots naturally and quickly, and knew exactly what to do, that will not apply to a new woman. She is built differently, and she thinks and feels differently. The skills you think you have don't always translate. That applies to everything. Talking, kissing, hugging, masturbation, oral sex, and sex. It's a different woman, so it will be different. Just don't let that freak you out, and realize that you're always starting from scratch.

There will always be trial and error. I have mentioned this elsewhere. What is more important is that when you *do* make a trial, you do it for reasons that *you* think are important and real. As long as your reasons are good enough for you, then the trial is worth your while. If that trial does not work out, then you will make another, in time. No matter how many trials you undertake, it is enough if you make them for your own reasons, and those reasons are good enough for you to live with. If the trial you finally undertake that works out for you comes at the age of 50, then it was still worth the effort.

Gosh. That was detailed

Good advice, I thought though.

True. Very true

Actually, I think condom how-to entry would be a good addition. But I don't know if I'd want to see the entire instructions in the "teen advice" entry. For one thing, how will the adults find this information?

Thanks I really needed to know that I've got my health conference at school on Thursday and I'll probably totally abandone this forum after that.....

*giggles*
Health conference? That sounds scary...

Apparently it's a continuation of last year. In the morning we're gonna have an hour long look at contraceptive devices. I'm not sure about the rest of the morning but the afternoon is breast cancer and drugs

Think of it this way.This is considerably more information than you would get where I live (Denver, CO). Would you rather not get any information at all?

We just don't need to know it in all that detail

You'd be surprised; I got a lot of detail at school too, but I still managed to bugger up the first time

Mmm, think yourself lucky mate. Our SE classes are crappy, we get told next to nothing, and the last talk we had was the period one in first year.
It's no wonder we're the worst area in Europe- I'll repeat that- IN EUROPE, for teen pregnancies... You'd think they'd take a little more time to teach us about this stuff.
"Everything I know, I learnt from the problem pages..."

Well Geri Halliwell is supposed to be doing something about it. I also learnt a lot from the problem pages