h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So THAT'S where I went wrong! Reading "Empire" all these years, when I should have been reading "Sugar"...

Oh... what about people's parents' advice on sex? When my dad sat me down I almost killed myself trying not to laugh; after about and hour and a half, I think the gist was "don't have sex... 16? FAR too young"...

My mother was more abrupt; her advice was "two virgins? The sex'll be crap anyway..."

Okay, so she was right about the first time. But there's always room for improvement...

Sounds about right...
*g*
Nah, my parents have always been really good- they've never hid anything from me, they're totally open. It's really good.
*grins*
Well, I did my Sugar thing from about the age of 12, moved onto Cosmo by 14, got bored in about 6 months, and went straight back to Empire...
That whole girly magazine thing just wasn't for me.
Plus the film reviews were crap

It's all in the films as well

Yeah, cos we get soft focus, sheets that cover the girl's breasts and yet show off the guy's perfect body, and simultaneous orgasms every time we do it...

Aaaah... but then you can do the tacky thing and act out the films... I have a bizarre desire to re-enact the bath scene in "The English Patient"...

Oh God, yes... and "Cosmopolitan"... my boyfriend reads it; I had a look recently and it's just so funny! Did you see the "How to Touch a Naked Man" article the other month? We were in hysterics...

Cosmo can have interesting articles, for instance the one regarding washing machines I refer to here http://www.h2g2.com/A276671 And we are not talking about how to get clean clothes here ladies. In fact some of you youngsters may well be able to save all those potential problems with sex if you follow some of the advice (but also note the warnings) contained on this interesting page.

Kadu

Ah. I didn't think Cosmo would be discussing the merits of Electrolux over Braun. Smeg over Seimens maybe...
*Fridges* people!
But, like I said, I haven't read Cosmo in about two years. Although I did pick up a copy of New Woman last week.
I was right, it was inane nonsense

LOL: fridge based humour a new one for the alternative circuit. May not last long tho.

4 the record, 4 this particular use of washing machines Cosmo recomended a varible spin, is this true girls? (u may have 2 refer to article linked above 2 understand the meaning )

The Flyer

indeed, but did u read the full thing, some of the other "Unconventional Pleasure Devices" don't just make u but would bring tears to most eyes (as well as pleasure)

Kadu

What they told us in the health conference was enough to put you off sex for life, at least unprotected anyway

Well - that's precisely what they were supposed to do, so they've obviously done their job well.

Though if we all stopped having unprotected sex there might be a tiny problem as regards the continuation of the species...

What *did* they say at the health conference, out of interest?

It is really starting to bug me the way TV, teen-mags and movies starring Harry Enfield are making it look like all teenagers loose their virginity at twelve, have parented a child by thirteen and have some form of STD before they're legally allowed to drive. A lot of teenagers, and in my experience the majority, haven't even been kissed by sixteen, let alone had sex. This sex education isn't making us better informed, its merely making us fume with jealousy and our own inadequacies! P.S If there ARE any teenagers reading this who are underrage Casanova's, please don't reply to this as you will only irrepairably damage my self esteem

I didn't get kissed until I was sixteen, either...

I'm 16 and I haven't been kissed yet...
*sigh*
You're completely right though. I told someone in another forum this, and they were completely incredulous. It made me question whether I was inadequate when it came to relationships. Whether I should be out there trying to find a guy and have sex. I felt like I was backwards, juvenile, and... well, a little pathetic compared to everyone else.
Then it hit me. I'm not any of those things. If anything I'm normal, and I hope not dumb enough to sleep with the first guy who kisses me (unless of course that only happens when I'm 25- then I'm jumping his bones...). It's ridiculous though, that I should have felt that way, even briefly. Just because I haven't had sex, at 16, doesn't mean I'm abnormal...

I was kissed on my hand by a boy who seriously fancied me when I was 9! I'm 14 now and apparently he STILL fancies me, so I don't know whether that counts as a kiss or not.....I've never actually had a boyfriend, but I wouldn't mind one though, thing is I'm quite religious and don't believe in sex before marriage, therefore having a boyfriend would only be for the company at my age....

At the health conference they just baisically showed us a video of all these people saying their story, and what they'd caught....one girl in the class fainted! Maybe she was guilty or something......

Oh bugger. I slept with the first guy that kissed me. But then I've only ever kissed one person, and I'm still with him, so I'm trying to excuse myself on that basis...

I felt like that, actually. Doesn't everyone? Well, okay, everyone who hasn't been sticking their tongues down other people's throats from the age of ten. At my school people actually compiled lists of people who'd never pulled; lists on which I was one of the mainstays. I was a bit uncomfortable at first then I just thought 'Haha! Who's being immature here then?' I mean, for God's sake, making lists...?! The mind boggles...