h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A long, long time ago.... I was a teenager. I dreamed of having sex with my girlfriend. When we finally did, drunk, rushed, and cramped on a single bed with 2 foot head room it was not exactly worth it. We were both "experimenting" as Quorthon (Antichrist Svperstar) put it.

Whilst we were not scared for life. It did herald the end of the relationship.

I am not advocating waiting or celibacy, but just do it at the right time, for the right reasons, with the right person. Most important, Have fun.

You only pass this way once, I wish now I had been more thoughtfull, but alas...

The Flyer

Wise words, brother

I don't think it's that easy. I had to fall in love a few times to understand I was bisexual. There had to be a pattern I could recognize. I would have had to wait until I was at least 21 to have sex if I was going to wait until I understood "what I want." It made much more sense to me at the time to explore the people I had fallen in love with, and learn about myself from the process. I'm not sure how I would have come to the conclusions I did if I was celibate all that time.

Well, that's a point, but is 21 all that old? And, call me old fashioned, but where did all this stuff about experimenting on people come from? Since when are we lab rats? I don't *need* to have sex to figure out what I want- I'd rather wait until I was sure, and ready for it.
Ok, now I sound like some crazy old woman, don't I?

Is 21 that old? It feels pretty old when you're 21 and aren't sure what your sexual orientation is. It feels like you are missing a very vital piece of your own personality.

I wasn't "experimenting on people." And I find that insinuation very insulting. I have never had sex with somebody I didn't love, nor on the first date, nor within the first two months of the relationship. For me, sex is a sacred part of a loving relationship. It should be part of a good marriage, but taking a good hard look at marriage's failures in our society and its double-standards for gay people has led me to believe that marriage can't be the be-all solution and the ultimate gateway for sex as it is for some people.

The only "experimentation" that went on in my teens and early adulthood was exploring my own fantasies in private while masturbating. The rest was an honest expression of love for someone very special to me.

But yes, having sex with people I loved helped me to understand myself in a way that imagining sex did not. This is not because I "experimented" on them or with them. It is because love and sex combined can be a powerful educational force in a young person's life.

I don't mean to insult anyone who has decided to be celibate. I'm just saying it isn't realistic for everyone to be that way. For some of us, the journey is at least as important as the destination. For some of us, "knowing what you want" isn't as simple as accepting society's precepts and moving on

I think you're all being a tiny bit prudent, don't forget that some people still believe in love at first sight, and may want to act on that; and if too people want to act on a strong impulse, why should they have to stop themselves.I'm not saying this is a good way to lose your virginity (although it is how I lost mine)
I'm just saying that once that boundry is crossed, they don't really need lecturing on "being sure" as they probably won't change their now rigid opinions-at least for a long time.

It's never been entirely clear to me why being a virgin is a particularly good or bad thing. I didn't hang back before I made my first h2g2 article so that it would be "special" - why should sex be different?

Well, sex on impulse might be a good way of ruining a relationship...which goes on to what I meant by "experimenting".

When you're having a shag for the first time, would you know exactly what to do? Where to poke? What makes the bird squeal with delight? If you know exactly how before you've started, then wow! But, I feel that it may all not be as I perceive, thus when my time comes () I'll prolly regard it as an experiment. Or be on too much a high to care!!!

I think you got a few years in store yet, quorthon.

Grrrr- I love being misunderstood.
I wasn't referring to one person in particular when I said "experimenting" but it had been insinuated further up the thread, and so I responded. (And losing your virginity is a mite more important than writing an h2g2 article- remember, you can delete those and pretend they never happened )
While I'm here- who cares about society? I care about me, and what's right for me, not what the current sociological trends dictate. That said, I didn't say wait until you're married- I'm sure as hell not gonna. What I meant was I won't do it, until I'm sure I want to. I don't want to regard it as "just a quick check to see where everything goes" before the real thing.
And, for the record, I'm insulted by the insinuation that I'm a prude. I'm anything but- trust me- but I have clear set opinions and hopes for myself. And one of them is to make sure I don't regret losing my virginity.
Why is it so difficult to know what you want without some trial and error beforehand? Or am I just being too idealistic? Remember, I'm still just a kid- prove me wrong if I'm wrong. I'm almost entirely sure that I am

I only went on dates with girls, and remained celebate. My first sex was with my ex. And that was only when I was sure of my identity. I was 27 at the time. So I wasn't experimenting with sex. But I suppose I was with relationships.

Ok, what is everyone meaning with this new "celebate" word?

And I shall choose to ignore Ioreth's komment

*g*
Celibate- when you don't have sex (can you have relationships? I forget)

yeah - it's just sex.

But you're not celibate if you *want* to have sex, but haven't managed to yet...

Ok, my assumptions on the word were korrect . Thanks you two

And it's not so new fangled. After all the Church in Rome says its priests should be it. Or course how many are is open to much debate.

OK, in another post there was a girl who said she's 14 goes to an all girls school and hasn't had sex yet. I'm also 14 and go to an all girls school, and never go out anywhere, and yet somehow we hear in our school about what some of the girls do get up to outside of school. I think it's really pathetic today about how many teens loose their virginity before they are 16, and the magazines are no help, I mean, you only have to see the front cover of Bliss, J-17 or Sugar and it's telling you how to do it, that just proves my point.

I thinks the girls do as much bragging these days as the guys did in my day. For example a female friend of mine, who is still a virgin at 31got a reputation in her teenage years for being a slut.

a) because she didn't mix with the group that would be doing all the boasting

and

b) because the guys needed someone to say they'd done it with.

Most of it is all bravado and now applies equally to both sexes at a far younger age. Once you actually do it, and are mature enough, the truth will out, number, first time, how often. Teens and early twenties are more talk than action.

I'm on MSN instant messenger and I think most of my contacts are boys and they only seem to want cybersex which I've told them they can just **** off over as I'm not interested, I think anyone who goes for it cyber is really desperate.

Oh. Now that's a good discussion point post it to miscellaneous chat or something. I find it once I get some sleep. Good night.