h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That would kill two birds with one stone...
Is that a politically incorrect idiom, incidentally?

Who cares about politically correct? Does something that is politically correct automatically become false?

Do I have any idea what I'm talking about?

He is just overly morbid. Women aren't that hard to figure out. We are also not that hard to make happy and not all of us fall for complete jerks. Get over your delusions about being able to fit all women in a box and find yourself a nice girl who I hope will change your mind.

The problem as I see it is:

1) There is a noisy majority of what I have come ot know as "uptight, high maintenance, highly-strung whiny cows".
2) These are the girls that the majority of guys "want".
3) These guys get burnt by these girls and blame it on the rest of us.

I had a mate who broke up with his girlfriend of two years because she was an "uptight, high maintenance, highly-strung whiny cow". He moved in with me for a few weeks while he looked for another place to stay. The whole time he was there I never asked him for any money, did all the cooking and most of the cleaning, even though he was unemployed at the time and I have a full time job.

Even now he hates women because "they take all your money and treat you like sh*t".

All I can say is the guy is obviously an idiot because he freeloaded off me for over a month and still complains that girls are leeches. And this is why guys are so burnt by girls. Because the ones that look after them, the ones they go to when the sh*t hits the fan, are the ones they forget. The ones who make their lives a living hell are the ones they would walk into traffic for.

And yes, I am cynical.

Been there, done that, burnt the T-shirt.

Wow, you got a t-shirt?

(By the way, I still believe in love....!)

So do I. And I've got a lot of it to spare

Anyway, what are our thoughts of people who use communications technology to perpetuate relationships which would be doomed otherwise to the detriment of their own sanity, driving themselves into paranoid fugues about whether or not their partner/boy or girlfriend/significant other/f*ckb*ddy is being faithful?

Because I think that sucks.

Yeah Marvin, I heaya buddy.
( I'm with what he said, just can't join in too much due to the limited education and very small fingers. BUT using the books to discover what all those long words mean.
Thats a Wiltshire education for ya!

I didn't think people needed any help in getting paranoid about whatever relationships they are in....God bless the technology!

Oh dear!!!! Where to start. I *know* where you're coming from, from a guy's perspective it's all to easy to see women as insane, inane persons who hate the nice guys. I'm sure, at least from my own personal experiences, that there are a lot of women who are so blinded by either looks or that 'bad boy' image that they prefer some A-hole to the nice guys. I'm positive of this in the same way that I'm sure that there are so many guys that are torn to act like someone they're not in order to be popular with women.

Both these are only surface realities, imho. I believe the blame, if any is due, should be cast upon society, the media and the general suggestibility of humans.

The 'Nice guys finish last' Idea is as big a lie as love. What is love, like anything else, it's what you make of it. A 'terrorist' is a 'freedom fighter' to his own side. The truth is an elephant surrounded by blind men, one has a tail, one has a tusk, one has something I won't go into . They're arguing about what an elephant feels like, and they're all right, and wrong.

Don't get too attached to ideas, even as a defence to hurt. I'm hurting right now, but I remember my motto, which I saw on a wall in a computer game years ago: This too shall pass.

Hope you find what you're looking for,

P.

Saying that girls only go for pretty boys and a(#*holes is like saying that guys only go for teeny tiny, "va-va-va-voom" girls.

Feel free to draw your own conclusions from that.

Too true, Tanzen. Everyone's got their own idea of perfection. Gimme 'Large and in charge' any day of the week

p.

I have found over the years that I don't think I have a "type" - I love everyone (and more's the pity )

Love, like anything else, is what you make it. Belief shapes our universe, belief and perception. How you see love, is the only way you could possible be able to experience it. I find it interesting that *so* many people respond to the subject of love. If it is in fact so over-idealized and simple, as our original author would imply, then why is it so quintessentially (typo?) a part of the human experience?

*nods dumbly*

I believe in love.

I believe that there is a certain connection that you feel with some people that you will never feel with others.

I believe that there's someone out there who feels the same.

But then again, I also used to believe that I would be married by now....

I have read through this entire conversation and have found it most interesting. I especially liked your comment about how it has nothing to do with feelings.

In my vast experience of disappointments over the previous six or so years. I feel that I am only beginning to understand this abstract concept. Love is too overly implied as an emotion. I think the Romantics of the eighteenth century have emphasised the warlike nature of such experiences, with love and hate battling in an endless warfare of the soul.

I feel thatI myself am beginning to fall in love, yet it is quite strange on my somewhat intellectually biased mind. I seem drawn inexhorably to some sort of Kantian Reason, though in my current experiences I am confused as to the reason of my emotional state of mind.

It seems to me that love is more sort of a tendency, that is otherwise completely amputated from the common sensory experiences that are governed either by the powers of the will, or whatever biochemical system you wish to indulge your intellectual belief system in.

My current feelings seem perpetually encompassed in a state of constructive doubt. It seems more that I am recognising the enlightened level of the real world, rather than wallowing in the Platonic cave of shadows.

I think the important thing that needs to be realised is that though Romanticism has its drawbacks, it aids us to discover more fully who we are. In the same way, empiricism has its drawbacks though it gives us an outlook on the whorld that is wholly more definable. I prefer to take a philosophy of moderation, leaning from one to the other, and circumstances change. I hope that you can similarly learn that immersion in extremity will only lead to prejudice, and such a biased outlook on the world cannot be constructive to either inductive or deductive reasoning. May you find love in moderation, and become at peace.

Andúril

What a level headed answer. I hope you have found that there are many other individuals out there who have balanced and honest perspectives not unlike yours, which should give any hopeless romantic hope.

How apt that this should rear it's head again, I must keep track of this one.

The funny thing is I ended up writing a 7 page (unfinished) piece on the nature of love a few months back, havig been happily loved up the last 10 months or so...

Just to add another chilli to the pot (don't ask, I haven't had me yet this morning)...a mate of mine said she read somewhere that if a girl has sex with the same guy several times over a 24 hour period she will fall in love with him.

Has anyone else heard it before? And what kind of weight would you give this argument?

Hmmm... Seems to me that it really depends on the individual, however, I forsee that a person who was already falling in love with someone would be the most inclined to have sex with them several times in a row. Perhaps the more intimate time shared with a person, the easier it is to feel more comfortable and familiar around them. I certainly don't believe, however, that the action of having sex with someone any number of times will necessarily engender real love. I don't think people fall in love because they have sex, although sex can certainly help.

I'm glad to hear that love has become a part of your life. Pray tell, how did you meet this person you are in the relationship with, and what are the reasons why you call what you experience "love"?