h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, I think partly a relationship is about learning about the other person, and yourself. The very word relationship infers an inter-relation between people. This surely must be based on communication, and in this you learn. I don't think you have to know people that well before you start a relationship with them. I think the initial attraction is important however...

that's the thing though, if you're a nice, caring, sensitive, emotional, intelligent, loving guy with a nice personality who is 'ok looking' you still have no chance against someone who is a complete b*****d and who is better looking than you.

those are the people who get off with girls and go out with them and cheat on them because they can. normal looking nice guys don't have a chance to start a relationship because they don't have the looks to get the initial attraction from a girl. this also means that there is much less chance that they will cheat on the girl, but in some cases the girl ends up cheating on the nice guy with the fit b*****d anyway.

and i can safely say that the very worst thing is when one of the nice guys gets to know the girl and then she tells him that she 'doesn't want to ruin their friendship by doing anything stupid'. in some cases this is true but most of the time it would be a lot less insulting to the guy's intelligence for the girl to just say 'i don't fancy you' and be done with it.

and the very, very worst thing that a girl can ever say to a guy is 'but can we still be friends?'

every time i hear this i come very close to really wanting to tell the girl to go f*** herself, and that the only reason i became friends with her was to get with her and that i don't want to be the nice guy anymore and sit back and watch her get off with the aforesaid b*****d.

however, despite this urge i always control myself and say yes. it is because of situations like this that i have so many friends who are girls. i am not saying that it is a bad thing now but at the time it is excruciatingly painful, believe me.

PS. most of the situations described above happen in schools. things may be different for older people, but i doubt it.

I think what you're describing is a minor aspect of the overall experience.

Nonetheless, it does ring some bells, and elements of it are all too familiar.

those are just some of the problems encountered by some people.

as for personal experience, i don't know if i've been in love because the thing i had was only one way. she didn't feel the same way i did.

but all the stuff the rest of you have said is interesting and most of it i agree with, but i think that love is something that can never really be defined, only experienced.

lol, but most of it was contradictory... how can you agree with both sides of a contradiction?

I think life is about learning. All that you experience enables you to grow. I don't really think there are good and bad experiences. Sure some feel good and some bad, but you learn more about yourself and the world in the bad ones.

well what someone said about feeling alone in a crowd and about all of the heart and soul stuff. at least, i thought is was an interesting insight without necessarily agreeing with it.

good judgement comes from experiance. unfortunately experience usually comes from bad judgement. (i think this is a quote but i don't know who from)

"Experience is something you get only after you need it"

As Kalil Gibran once said: " Laugh all of your laghter and weep all of your tears"- The Prophet
You can't experience all life has to offer if you don't dive into the sometimes murky depths of love.

I think the quote you were looking for was Ernest Hemingway; "Even when I was in a crowd, I was alone"

that is also a good quote. But what I was saying is that if you don't experience all life has to offer, good or bad, did you really live?

you would have lived in the biological sense, but not felt alive, envigorated or challenged. by not experiancing all that you could you would not have lived life to the full.

YES!!

glad you agree.

But what about ultimately dangerous experiences? Could living your life to the full be justified if it caused your untimely dimise?

living life to the full can present certain risks, and it is when the person in question asseses these risks and decides for themselves whether or not the thing is worth doing that they gain experience, even if they decide against it. feel free to disagree with me on this one because i am not very sure about it myself.

galigan
re: post 102

It happens both ways.

I have never been the most attractive of girls, but I still fancied myself a decent person. You know, funny enough, clever enough, nice to people and open minded.

I used to know a girl who was also funny enough, clever enough, far more attractive and probably not the nicest of charcters. She was often mean to people for no other reason than because she could be.

Every weekend we'd go out, and every weekend there'd be boys *begging* to take her out. It would often happen that i'd make friends with some of these guys, when it would turn out they were just trying to igratiate themselves with my friend.

You can't let it bother you. You just have to keep hoping that there will be a person who won't be like that, someone who'd rather someone was nice and personable, rather than attractive and nasty.

It has worked, so far, for me

Congratulations! i don't let it bother me that much now, that posting was just a bit of a rant. thank you for your reply and i am glad that you feel the same way.

just curious though, is the situation you are talking about a school age one, i.e. are you roughly 16-18, or is this happening in an adult environment?

Tanzen

how are you, I haven't been on here for ages. Are you married yet?

Talk soon

Love T

Well, I know that romantic love is fine and all, but to say that it has nothing to do with material things is a bit of a stretch.

Try living under an overpass with an heroine addicted lover, eating nothing but dead roaches, and we'll see how long your love lasts.

P.S. Yeah I'm a woman! but I'm a bit of a realist too (is that an oxymoron?)

Detruitus

Nope, not even close to married yet...but I figure when it's a "forever" thing, a couple of years to make sure seems fair enough, right ?

Galigan, I am 25 now but it happened since forever. I went to an all girls' school which made it worse (for some reason a *lot* of girls don't handle being seperated from boys...as a result the sight of a boy will lead a girl to tear her best friend's eyeballs out so they won't see them...).

This meant that as far as boys were involved, I was the phone person, because I'm witty and not afraid of boys I got to "set the ground work". Then when it came to the meeting of the boys, I always seemed to be the straggler while all my mates pawed over the fellas.

It dind't bother me. Boys were never my thang when I was in High School.

The story I told earlier was when I was about 19. It happened with the same girl pretty regularly until we were about 22, and she decided to settle down.

These days we don't talk so much.

But the point I'm trying to make is that, as much as we'd like to think everyone grows up and become enlightened individuals, it never stops. My best friend has 40 year old women staring daggers at her as the result of a boy that she was only friends with.

On the plus side, those of us that do stop acting like children (and those of us that never acted like children ) can get on with the mechanics of living