h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Because of the terrible smell







Hey! it's you an' me again, Tri! People are gonna talk........

of the Train Drivers feet


(People M, what people?, oops, she's gone as well)

For his 2 plates of meat.............



(for our foreign friends, it's cockney rhyming slang for the above!!

Had a stink like the Kipper from Hell

*****************

The Railway went 'clickety clack'

'til the lads sold the last of the track

but the price they could get
was not worth the sweat






Helllooooo.............justing passing through

So they set to and put it all back

(That seems to have an Historic ring to it)


They're going to by-pass our City

Which seems such a pity

For when crossing the road
There's no traffic to goad

and the driver is such a sissy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Eddie is a telephone engineer...

Who swapped lines about without fear
When I 'phoned up the vet
A voice said "Collette"

come round quickly without fear!!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The weatherman reported one morning

It's unlikley tomorrow is Dawning

a new asteroid is passing earth

so it is hardly worth

getting up and doing all that yawning




(not too good, I admit, but I wanted to get back in the game!!)
Now let's hear it for the troops..........

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
(getting back to the classic limerick)

There was an old maid from Chippenham

Had boyfriends and loved to go whippin'em,

Her leather attire

Stirred up their desire

(been there huh TC)

(Oh yeah, dream on)

They usually ended up rippin' em.



Here's a nice easy one:



There was an old tramp in Dundee