h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

you first Ugi

He had horns on his head

And his voice was like lead,

And he left smoking prints where he walked

...

An abseiler from Aberdeen

And a very perculiar walk


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It was a boring day in hell

Could never tell where he'd been,

lost in the trossachs

so he carried a guide
?

He knew not up from down

Waylaid by some Cossacks,

*Best I could think of*

*pretty good*

He ran off and was n'er again seen

As I wondered what the second line would be I thought this was quite fun:
An abseiler from Aberdeen
Caught his rope in a knitting machine
It fell from his grasp
but it knitted so fast
that he fell on his new trampoline!

...
I really must think of my work

Or my boss will think I'm a jerk,

He'll beat me and whack me

I'm sure to get fired

And probably sack me

Because he has a really bad quirk

-----------------------------------

I opened my drawer and found a sock

lying there with my nice frilly frock

But where was the other