h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Thank you. His car is thoughoughly trashed in The World Is Not Enough, I think you'll be able to cheer as the BMW is, well, I don't want to give it away, but he anticipates a big lecture from Q afterwards

And the next bond film will be called, The Motor Insurance is not Enough?

Who told you! That was supposed to be a secret!

What happens? Does he have to save the world (once again) from a fanatic insurance salesman who tries to dominate the world by selling them all thermonuclear warheads cunningly disguised as home contents insurance policies? Imagine the scene:
Bond is hidden in the office. Evil guy number two (third on the left during the obligatory 'I will rule the World!!!' scene) enters and reaches towards the desk. Bond pulls out the gun and places it at the back of evil guy's neck. Evil guy number three tries to sneak in the door. Bond then says 'Third party, fire and theft?'. On 'third party' he turns and shoots evil guy number three and the bullet goes straight through the guys body, ricochets off a lamppost, hits evil guy number two in the forehead and then ignites a canister of gas behind Bond as he says ' fire' before reaching forward, grabbing exactly the right piece of paper without even reading it (obligatory Bond luck) and then tucking it into the tux with the words 'and theft?' before looking extremely smug. Obviously two seconds after this he just has time to pass the documents to the girl (still looking beautiful) before being captured and being put in some kind of overly slow torture device that will kill him (see above). Except that it won't due to a clause in the small print allowing him 14 days to withdraw from the contract as long as the salesman wasn't invited to his home.

Careful, they're looking for a plot for the next one. I'd copywrite that before you loose millions. (actually, I can seriously see the third party fire and theft line being used if they read this.) Personaly i think we're on to a winner here. But it could very probably have the dullest product placement ever. (Bad Guy; Not even your cheap but reasonable CGU Insurance policy can save you now bond. Not even with their reasonable rates. And of course, teh obligatory Q scene. Q: Now bond, this is one of AXA's most relyable policys, you make cheap but regular payments, and they give you this free alarm clock that doubles as a small helecopter)

Yes they never learn. And they always get their bikini clad missus to show him around their base so he can get his oats too.
As soon as they capture him they should just shoot him in the head 10 times.

Their worse than the bad guys in the A team who would every week as rugular as clockwork lock the A team in a shed or garahe when thay caught them. The shed was always full of useful weapons, tractors, dynamite and welding gear for them to build a tank with, smash out of the shed and then ram all the bad guys cars so that they turned over, afterwhich the bemused badguys would stagger out of their cars holding their heads.

I'd say the A-Team villains are worse. After all, Bond very rarley gets locked in a room with a tank, usually he has to hijack it for himself. At least Bond is a better shot than anyone on the A-Team!

~Irving

Yep you never saw anyone get shot becuase it was a kiddies show. About the goriest thing I saw was when they injected Mt T with drugs to get him on a plane.

That was actually unusual. They'd usually drug his Milk. The A team never hit anyone despite showering places with bullets regularly. Also despite throwing dynamite around teh most serious injury anyone would get would be bruising from being thrown by Mr T.

The producers really went out of their way to show that no one got killed. I remember a show where, during the chase scene, the bad guys' car did the obligatory flip-over stunt, but instead of landing right side up like usual, it rolled over several times down a hill. You just have time to realize no one could have survived that, when you hear a bad voice over say "Oh, man, are you alright?" "yeah, I'm okay how about you?".

~Irving

It was always great when they created some non-lethal gizmo to defeat the baddies. My personal favorite was a blamonge cannon which fired pink goo at the opposition.

That sounds more like Noel's House Party to me. Are you sure you're not getting confused here?

Nope, dead serious. Its quite bad that you can draw paralells between teh A-team and noels house party though.

Since we already seem to be doing picky here...

He would only have his tracks covered by MI5 if operating in Britain as MI5 is the domestic security service whereas MI6 or SIS or whatever is the foreign security service (and Bond works for them anyway).