h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*A tentacle of the Kraken punctures the Yacht's outer hull. Ninjas surround Bond and Volk*

"You will never defeat our master. The world will not belong to several small bickering countries, nor to the weakly idealistic Atlanteans, but to our forces!"

*Head Ninja pushes gecko on uniform. It begins to glow, and a ticking sound can be heard*

*Music from 'countdown' starts as well for some strange reason*
Uh oh!
*Felix dives over the side of the yacht and starts swimming for the sub*

We've got to do something to help them...! The yacht isn't going to hold out much longer, surely... We've got to let them in here...

*An aqua-marine helicopter begins hovering over the yacht. Apparently some signal is given, and the head ninja stops the countdown. For now. The moniters turn back on. The unnamed villain reappears*

"Hello, there. I doubt that you're going to sink just yet. My kraken is holding up the yacht. Anyway, I've got an offer. Liebe, Volk, and Bond for the lives of everyone else on the ship and/or submarine. Of course, you could attempt to fight off a legendary sea monster, while also battling about fifty ninjas, each of which is perfectly willing to detonate the explosives on their uniforms, but I doubt you would survive that. Is it agreed? Does the leader of Atlantis finally yield to the leader of Krylma?"

*The unnamed villain waites, expectantly*

In the distance another helicopter is seen speeding towards the yacht, it is bristling with missiles.....

*Volk sees the second helicopter on his radar screen and stalls for time. He speaks into his radio, while writing a note to Liebe:*

Trace the radio transmissions.

Who are you? And what do you want? We are not prepared to surrender until you provide some assurances of the safety of the others.

Camera focuses on a thumb flipping the guard off the air to air missile trigger.

A bead of sweat runs down his forehead

Dead dry

You mean, you don't recognize me as leader of the Krylma? Well, the family resemblance has faded over the centuries, and this perpetual shadow I keep over my face has made it ni-impossible for you to really see who I am, so I'll start the long, boring backstory.

Centuries ago, when the city of Atlantis was just a blueprint on a sheet of paper, two brothers argued with each other about the future.

One, the first born son of a great king, and the newest leader of the race of people called Atlants (surely you can see some significance and foreshadowing in that name), who thought themselves the most enlightened and advanced people of all time! However, their ego was justified as they were. This newest king proposed a life of complete, total seclusion from the rest of the world in the new city of Atlantis.

His twin brother, however, argued that the world would need their people around to guide the stupid other humans who would kill each other when given enough technology and/or reason. He proposed a life of hiding on the surface, but taking part in the actions of the unenlightened globe.

Fortunately, a civil war did not break out, and the two brothers went seperate way: the new king into his underwater hideaway, and his brother (with about a third of the population who also agreed with him)went among the Earth, attempting to sway the humans to his side.

Over the centuries, we named ourselves the Krylma, and saw that the world, while needing a peaceful ruler, could not possibly be ruled by peace. Earth needs a leader who, while giving the necessary freedoms that people need to still be considered people (privacy, right to be an individual, etc.), also maintains an iron grip on the very stuff of civilization. Letting people choose their own leaders is good to a certain extent, as is having preselected rulers. The problem is corruption, and the possibility of arguing leaders.

I will be this peaceful tyrant! The only two things that I really consider to stand in my way, however, are the Atlanteans, and Bond.

Bond who thwarted my first plan, all those many years ago, back when I just became leader of my race. Little did he know it, but the very job that got him promoted to his current rank , was also the cummulation of over a century of planning! However, that's in the past now, and the new plan might even be better.

*Felix falls asleep and drifts under the water*

Ah, the Krylma. Always after power. Always wanting to rule. Believing that their way is the only way.

You were always elitists and always believed you were the master race and that the world, by right, should belong to you. But you should know by now that your methods do not work. The people you oppress will revolt and will eventually overthrow you. There will always be those who oppose your fascist ways, no matter how many your secret police arrest.

And the Atlanteans will fight you to the end. We have become very powerful and will not allow you to enslave the world.

*Glances at the radar and sees that BS's helicopter is now within range. Sees that Liebe is ready to fire the nuclear harpoon.*

BS Finger tightens on the trigger.


Heading for the helicpoter hovering over the yacht......

*Volk picks up the missle launch on his radar, looks to Liebe:*

Now!

*Liebe fires the nuclear harpoon.*

Harpoon speeds through water, and buries itself inside the Kraken. Pyrotechnics. Kraken puffs up, with an orange glow inside, then deflates and slowly sinks out of sight. Water can be seen entering the hull of the yacht through a fist-sized hole.

BS's missle hits the Krylma helicopter, which explodes in a huge fireball. Three or four aqua-clad figures can still be seen in the water, but otherwise, only the yacht (which is now listing a little to starboard) can be seen.

*Volk keys his mike:*

Bond, start the pumps. We'll attempt a repair from the sub.

*Felix decides to swim back to the yacht*

*E manages to successfully worry herself completely*

*A rope ladder is lowered from BS's helicopter.*
< Over the speakers >
Afternoon James, would you and your freinds care to come aboard?

*Glares*

Yes, I suppose that escape is always an option. Before the three of you go, remember this: my race asks for just this one thing: final say in worldy affairs. We will not oppress, in fact we will support democracy or tyranny, whichever the people of the world wish for. Don't believe that there aren't enough lazy slobs in the world who would succumb under our promise.

Oh, and one last thing: Atlantis is strong, I have no doubt in my mind. However, you currently believe that you will win. Untill very recently, you believed that it would be impossible to infiltrate Atlantis, and look what happened! Thirty of my warriors! And those are the ones who chose to reveal themselves. Give up Volk, Liebe, Bond. Give up the world, give up your lives, give up your very existence, until you decide that we are the rightful rulers!

*Pets rabbit*

Oh, BTW, I know perfectly well that you're tracing this line. In fact, unless you're just using a terrible system, you should know exactly where I am by now. So come. The chase is on!

*Moniter flashes off*

*Dead Affy's boddy (from Atlantis) floats by, once again following the storyline*

*E looks over Volk's shoulder at the instrument panel... It had indeed managed to trace the call...*

* . . . to Alien's Space Station*