h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*On deck a group of people miraculously materialise*

*looks around*
Where are we, Mr Bond?

Looks like Perth to me.

*Looks at the name on the life preserver*

Ah the good ship The Unmentionable Donut, I believe we have amnaged to land on Volks boat as well.

Hmmm... an oak mast...

Maybe we should look around and see if there are any clues as to were such a villianous man could be.

*Felix picks himeself off the deck and soaks up the sun*
Do we have to?
*Felix notices JB's look*
Alright, some clues. hmm
*Sits down on a deck chair labled 'Volks Chair' for Volk only, anyone who wishes to use this chair who isn't Volk should contact him below deck in cabin 4C'*

I like the head rests...

*A small slip of paper falls out from between the seat cushions.*

30 degrees S, 100 degrees W

Isn't that...
...the BERMUDA TRIANGLE?????????????????

*The last letter of the note has pina colada spilled on it. Closer examination reveals it to be an E, not a W.*

Still doesn't account for the S though. Surely BErmuda is North of the equator.

*Bond looks at the coordinates, then checks a chart in the chart room.*

Looks like were in the right neck of the woods. These coordinates are in the Indian Ocean, not too far from here. I'll start the engines, someone want to haul in the anchor.

Who said the Bermuda triangle stayed in one place?

If it doesn't then did it accountfor Titanic?

It accounts for all accidents everywhere, especially NASA's space program.

Let's get this Yacht heading off to the co-ordinates then. Gentlemen and ladies start the engine.

*As the engine revs up, it explodes, causing a fire. Bond and crew are quick to extinguish the flame, but the boat will take a few hours to repair. Suddenly, a television moniter lights up. An as yet unnamed character appears*

"Mr. Bond, that explosion was not meant for you. IT was meant for Volk and/or Liebe. I am dreadfully afraid of what they would do if they conquered the world, so listen to this: they are fast approaching from a sub. They intend on destroying you where you are. Now, you won't be able to tell where the sub is until it's too late without my generous help, so good luck!"

*Moniter flashes off as a mysterious looking SUPER-DUPER SONAR/RADER ANTI-ATLANTEAN SUB bazooka. On it is a note which reads, "Shoot this as soon as the sub appears on the sonar/radar viewer. Look in the general direction of the coordinates you found.
SIncerely,
A Friend."*

*Far away, the unnamed figure chuckles*

*Felix feels that something isn't right*
*Realises that its because that his trousers are on fire from the engine*
James, this doesn't seem right. How do we know that isn't a deliberate ploy? I sure i've heard that voice before...

Yes - it sounded like....
Eomando!!!

*Bluebottle reconsiders...the voice definately wasn't Eomando...*