h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Okay.......you'll like this one since you're obviously so fond of bureaucrats.

I have a grant for some after school programs for 4th graders. We had originally intended to partner with the Boys and Girls Club, but they went out of business after the grant had been written and approved. So, we called the school district and they stepped in and brought kids from one of the elementary schools. Trouble is, the program is costing less than we originally planned since the school won't take any money for their participation.

The government won't let us send the money back. They won't let us transfer it to another program. So........I'm trying to figure out how to spend it. Oh, they won't let me transfer money from one line item to another, either. So I'm going to be able to spend it on pizza but can't use it to buy each kid a book, for example.

Don't you just love the government? All I can say is these kids better be hungry!!!!!!!!!

I finally got my lawnmower back from the shop. I'm going to mulch my leaves instead of raking them. I think I'll fix myself a toddy, bundle up, and then go on a leaf mowing frenzy. I've taught Annie to ride on the mower with me. She can ride shotgun. I'll put her bandanna around her neck.

I'm trying to drink more water and less tea. It's supposed to keep your skin from drying out in the winter. All it's doing is keeping me near the bathroom. Gotta !

...riding shotgun!

By each kid a HUGE pizza and have um take home what they can't eat. It takes a library to feed a Village ya' know.

I've been checking with my friends...they keep saying stuff like, what do you mean heparin is the only...?????

Girl, you don't EVEN want to get me started!! (i.e.)
When our Village got zoning...I was SO against it... I was maked Chairman of the Zoning Board of Appeals.
And when I was on Capital Hill...I was nominated AND put on the Board of Directors for NEMSN...so, the moral to my story...don't go pee when voting is about to take place.

Black tea & green tea are anti-oxidents...just skip the kind with caffine. ...Oooo...try my Granny's tea...black tea, a bit of grape juice, lemon & fresh mint leaves...just a bit as mint goes a long way...sugar to taste...and then hide it in the fridge so only you can find it!

...part of the reason I was *maked* Chairman is my wonderful verbal skills...want me to maked you some tea?

I've tried all kinds of green tea. I can drink it hot, but it's not very good cold. Even the raspberry. And I usually like anything raspberry flavored. *rubs tummy in anticipation of raspberry syrup on Sunday's waffles*

So are you saying that in civilized countries doctors have another drug they can use in the heart lung machine? I'm supposed to hear from the hematologist today. Frank had a dreadful day yesterday. We need to get his valve fixed.

My herb garden has pretty much become a mint garden. It chokes out everything else. Have you ever had catnip tea? It's not bad, but can become addictive. And you develope an uncontrollable urge to chase squirrels.

Since the weather is getting colder I'll probably make up some of my flavored coffee mixes. And I have a hot chocolate mix recipe that I make as gifts sometimes. I have so many volunteers that I'm obligated to give Christmas gifts to that I usually make something inexpensive and stick it in a cheap mug or cookie tin. It's good enough for who it's for. Most of them I don't even like. And I've done my duty to God and country.

...give yourself the gift that keeps on giving...here, let me give you enough for the rest of this month......*as she unwraps the box...the Lady thinks, hmmm...this is a box AND it's from Pandora...then she says screw it and shreds the paper to view the contents...she can hardly believe her eyes...two weeks of special, imported from the Tropics...stress free air!...as she breathes it in...all her muslces relax and the blood flows where it's meant to flow...her hands and feet become warm...and for the next two full weeks...everytime she wants to feel the stress free, warm Tropical air...all she need do is remember the box...
and breathe in the stress free air...*

...*wonders if wanting to chase furry little creatures through the woods isn't something EVERYone does...*
Chocotale mint is my favorite...tastes like girlscout cookies...onlu without the pesky little rascules knocking on the door making the dog insane.
You see, Grasshopper, when I was much as you are today. I learned what it truely means to be true to one's self. "Life is what happens when you're planning something else".
~John Lennon
As soon as I surrendered to my surroundings. Life became good. I've only just realised things are not as good I had thought...after finding out that things are acutally better than I thought.
Anyway...the moral to my story...keep the flippin' jars of mix for yourdamnedself!!! Give yourself something! I do.
I give myself a birthday gift and even a Christmas gift if I feel like it. I'm getting a birthday gift in about three weeks....I can't think of anything I want...maybe a bottle of brandy or sumthin'.
Can't lay in for Winter and not have somthin' for a sore throat or sumthin'.

Sometimes I think that if all the stress disappeared, so would I.

I certainly see your point. *points frantically*

I keep putting off the things I want to do until after this deadline or when the weather's better or when I retire or........

But when I make time for me I feel guilty and selfish. I'm so wrapped up in feeling responsible for everything that happens within a 100 mile radius that I'm about to explode. Which of course won't do me or anyone else any good. Spending an hour here and there on Hootoo is about as irresponsible as I get.

*sighs deeply and goes back to work because she has a deadline*

...relax-a-late yourself...it couuuldn't hourt.

Strees kills! So, I kill IT before IT kills me.
now I'm sorta' like rubber...stuff bounces off me...
...seems to be sticking to YOU!!!!~~~~~~~~
...*hurries back with certificates for massages and hair solon appointments...*

Guess what?I sorta' hate to be the one to tell you this...
when I found out I was a bit sad at first...but, were you to drop off the face of the ...it would still go 'round! You know. like if you were crossing the street in a rush to get to a meeting on time or sumthin' and a garbage truck mowed ya' down or sumthin'...
Well...*whispers...*everything would just go on.

Trust me...if 'I' can de-stress-a-late...anyone can.
I believe your clock is wound just a bit too tightly.

Nearly forgot...
...about guilt...go ahead...start feeling all the guilt you need_____________________________________.Okay, that's long enough.

S**t! I want everything to stop when I'm gone. What's the point of being here if it doesn't make a damn bit of difference anyway?

The surgery is on again, but I don't know exactly when. The hematologist was very encouraging. She thinks everything will go ok. Now we're waiting for the surgeon to put him on the schedule.

So, what do you do for Thanksgiving if you don't eat turkey? Do you still have the cranberries and pumpkin pie? You could buy just a turkey breast. That's pretty healthy. Very low fat. And use defatted broth for the stuffing and gravy.

I hope we aren't at the hospital for Thanksgiving! That would be a real bummer.

Really...I hope he's home by then!

Sometimes I make a pizza in the shape of a turkey...red peppers for feathers...black olive eyes, stuff like that. I use to get dragged off to boyfriend's & / or husband's family dinners...but I refuse to contaminate my space with people who, well,
contaminate my space.
These daze I usually wrap myself in an electric blanket and sit watch on the balcony for pochers. Just my doberman, Belle & me. I can eat anything fowl. Makes me 8-Q

...as Pink Floyd would sing...Breathe, breathe in the air...(warm Tropical, relaxin air...)Maybe that's what's makin' all that steam come out your ears?

So, what's the scoop with the heparin????????

Ah........so eating fowl is foul. Since you do fish and seafood perhaps you could make a turkey-shaped codfish loaf. Guess I won't send you my world famous Portuguese turkey recipe.

Okay.............heparin. His blood currently does not have heparin antibodies. The hematologist said that this could be because of the time that has elapsed or it could be because his problem 6 years ago wasn't caused by the heparin. She finally located his records and said that they have conflicting information and don't make sense.

So she has called the surgeon and told him to go ahead and use the heparin in the machine. She will run continuous tests to see if his platelets start dying. If so, they will transfuse platelets and take him off of the heparin as soon as his heart starts pumping on its own again. Then they'll use another blood thinner to prevent clots.

So, it seems to me that what they've managed to do is get another couple of doctors on the payroll.

Always a silver lining...

...just found out my sister's son didn't need the CANCER surgery he had when he was six...that made a very bright kid(no cancer) handicapped. 33 & can't tell time...rrrrrrr....still the sweetest person God ever put here. but......rrrrrrrrrrrrr..........
Doctors piss me off so baddly......just generally speaking. I have some CLOSE Dr. friends..they'er pretty much against conventinial meds.....& not money grubbing pukes. See, I put my stress right where it belongs...on the backs of those
that deserve it.(one finger salute)

I'm soooooo sleepy...I spent ALL nght rubbing George Clooney with degreaser......then the dog woke me up......

Ooooohhhhh! George Clooney *crosses legs quickly*

the weather is still miserable......kind of matches my mood thought.

Just found out that I'm to take Frank back to the doctor's office at 1 on Tuesday and they'll "visit" with us about a surgery date. Are you puking yet?

Hope they don't put this off so long that hell be dead or change his mind.

Sweet dreams tonight.

Dang! The only one I ever dream about is my high school biology teacher.

...it took practice...but now, whatever I want to dream of, I jusss think about as I drift off......and even if I have to get up to pee or sumthin'...I go right back and pick up where I left off in my dream! It's like watching movies all night. I have lots of Clooney dreams.

...yep...puking alright. There SHOULD have already been at the veryleast a visiting nurse to evaluate your husbands aftercare needs. And you can tell them that 'I' said so!!!
...*stomps off to wail in the woods...*relieves stress & keeps the neighbor kids off the land.

Have you tried digging a pit and covering it with leaves so the little buggers won't see it? Works for bears.

Speaking of peeing at night...........this new water regime is seriously interferring with my sleep. But my little chubby cheeks are becoming nice and soft instead of dry and stiff. So it's working. And I've lost 2 pounds. And I've been eating like always...3 healthy meals and junk from 7 till midnight.

I find THIS is a great way to rid one's body of fluid overload...

You forgot alcohol. It's a natural diuretic.

Ok, I've scheduled the library Christmas party for Friday the 13th. It's a pot luck supper. Now all I have to do is find a lucky pot.

I made a lemon jelly role yesterday. It was yummy. You notice I said was. It didn't last long.

Took my mom to have skin cancers cut off of her leg and hand this morning. She's not a patient patient. We sat and waited for nearly 2 hours because the doctor was running late.

I guess we'll find out tomorrow when F's surgery will be. He's really stressed out with all this waiting. He had a rotten night last night. He just wants to get it over with. If the surgeon doesn't give me a satisfactory date tomorrow, I'm taking him to another hospital and surgeon. I've had it.

Time to tell the doctors that their behavior is stressing everyone out. I don't believe in the crystle ball method.
i.e.that dr knows how long we've been sitting here.
I always treid to be within five minutes of my appointments, when I had an office and regular clients. But I know that's not the norm. I've let my doctors know that I will only 'be able' to wait for 20 minutes, if they'er going to be longer than that, I ask that they have one of 'their people' let me know so we can re-shed-ual.
(houtie-toutie)......*wonders if SHE'S the only one that doctors tell that they'er sorry?!?...blows on the backs of her fingernails and polishes um on her shoulder in a braggart like manner...*
I've actually reminded my doctor, and most of his staff that when I'm there...they are working for me. I've told my doc, who's a real wonderful guy, that he can dump me out anytime...but he says, "But where would I EVER find another YOU?" ...guess a little bit of me goes onhellova looooong way.

Oh, & when I've traveled a LONG way and there's no getting around waiting...I jusss remind myself that if it were 'I' in dire need of the doctor's extra time...I'd be damned glad that he took time to help me. (those office girls double book people all the time......when I had a day that clients would cancel...
I'd have 'my people' try to re...clients for later & I'd take a nap)

...jusssss like I found that my doc is a mean sonofaif it's nearly noon.Must have low blood sugar or sumthin'. One day he scolded me for somthin' & I told him I'd never see him before noon again, unless I threw a raw steak into the room first. ...my poor doctor...can you inagine having ME as a patient? hahahahahahahahahaha

...you must be reading my mind. IRL I rarely ever drink...but I think I understand why mama always kept a little buzz going.
Bome pain is a b*tch. As is muscel, nerve, ...sometimes even my teeth itch. Er, no. Wait, that's when I HAVE been drinking.

remain calm grasshopper...as the honerable Dr Ben Franklin said, "Worrying is like being in a rocking chair. It gives you someting to do but doesn't get you anywhere."

Got a call from the surgeon's office. He's scheduled for Thursday at 9. Why doesn't that fill me with confidence?

We lost power this afternoon for a couple of hours. There was this hugh explosion and blonk......no lights./ And just when school ws letting out and the little darlings were coming in to use the internet.

Gotta go make my lord and master some supper.

Actually, IRL I seldom drink either. That's what makes the Crossed Purposes so fun........seeing as how I have none otherwise.

I think you'll find we...'lifers' at The Pub are a tightly knit bunch. IRL Several are friends. I'm pleased to see some of our friends came for the halloween party and never left!!
My Bear, understands that I NEED human contact. I have lots of men friends in RL...but only one lady friend...who lives way to the South...probably why we're still friends as she's...
Like one time when she was spending the night...she spent aLLLL night covering ALL my loverly SouthWestern furniture with cheap bandanas?
Or the time she went along behind Bear putting little american flaga next to each blue spruce he planted...they looked like cartoons out there...he kept taking the flags out...she kept putting them back in...seems she was afraid he'd mow the new trees down. The front yard looked like a military burial ground for two whole dazzzze.

If I were you, which I ain't...I'd be calling other doctors whilst awaiting an 'adudience' with Frank's.